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This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article has had a somewhat troubled recent history at FAC and has possibly broken records with the number of attempts to get the gold star. It's had something of a polish recently and the aim is to take it once more to FAC once PR closes. A thorough and rigorous PR is the best way to get this over the line, and all comments that help to ensure this article is in the peak of excellence are very welcome. Many thanks,
SchroCat (
talk)
20:37, 30 June 2013 (UTC)
*"S&M is a song by Barbadian recording artist Rihanna from her fifth studio album, Loud (2010). It was released on January 21, 2011..." — Why is "2010" in parenthesis? Somewhat confusing when the very next sentence goes onto say that it was released in the following year.
*"American songwriter Ester Dean..." —Definite article required here I think.
*"The single charted at number two on the United States' Billboard Hot 100, but with combined sales from a remix that features Britney Spears, it became Rihanna's tenth and Spears' fifth number-one single on the chart." — was Spears remix the one to be released? If not, why would she be counted in this statistic? My understanding is that a remix comes out after the main song has been released. Did the remix also reach #1?
Looks OK
*Link synthesizer on it's first mention.
*"Chris Ryan of MTV..." — We don't need to be reminded of his MTV association here.
*""S&M" was the fourth single from Loud..." — As far as I can see, this is the first mention of Loud within the body so a brief introduction would be helpful: ""S&M" was the fourth single from the album Loud..."
*"...to be released in the US and the third elsewhere." — Elsewhere sounds a bit vague, suggest "other countries" or something.
*"... It was sent to contemporary hit and rhythmic radio playlists in the US on January 23, 2011." — I doubt it was sent to playlists, more so the radio stations that operate them.
*"Digital Spy's Nick Levine gave the song a rating of four stars out of a possible five..." — Redundancy of "a possible".
*Any chance of a link in "ear-
frotting"? ...don't ask me how I knew that.
*" "S&M" had sold 643,000 copies in the UK
*..."many countries." — Vague, where for example?
*There seems to be a lot of repetition with years here. I think if you mention 2011, you don't need to repeat it on the next date so long as that date is in the same year.
*"In the US, the song debuted at number 53 on the Billboard Hot 100 on December 4, 2010." — Could this be given chronologically?
This is for now, more to come. -- Cassianto Talk 20:40, 10 July 2013 (UTC) All covered (I think!) Thanks so much for doing this: much appreciated! - SchroCat ( talk) 08:43, 11 July 2013 (UTC)
Part two
All done...phew, I need a cold bath after reading that! I must suggest some of this to Mrs Cassianto! -- Cassianto Talk 21:36, 11 July 2013 (UTC)
Toolbox |
---|
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article has had a somewhat troubled recent history at FAC and has possibly broken records with the number of attempts to get the gold star. It's had something of a polish recently and the aim is to take it once more to FAC once PR closes. A thorough and rigorous PR is the best way to get this over the line, and all comments that help to ensure this article is in the peak of excellence are very welcome. Many thanks,
SchroCat (
talk)
20:37, 30 June 2013 (UTC)
*"S&M is a song by Barbadian recording artist Rihanna from her fifth studio album, Loud (2010). It was released on January 21, 2011..." — Why is "2010" in parenthesis? Somewhat confusing when the very next sentence goes onto say that it was released in the following year.
*"American songwriter Ester Dean..." —Definite article required here I think.
*"The single charted at number two on the United States' Billboard Hot 100, but with combined sales from a remix that features Britney Spears, it became Rihanna's tenth and Spears' fifth number-one single on the chart." — was Spears remix the one to be released? If not, why would she be counted in this statistic? My understanding is that a remix comes out after the main song has been released. Did the remix also reach #1?
Looks OK
*Link synthesizer on it's first mention.
*"Chris Ryan of MTV..." — We don't need to be reminded of his MTV association here.
*""S&M" was the fourth single from Loud..." — As far as I can see, this is the first mention of Loud within the body so a brief introduction would be helpful: ""S&M" was the fourth single from the album Loud..."
*"...to be released in the US and the third elsewhere." — Elsewhere sounds a bit vague, suggest "other countries" or something.
*"... It was sent to contemporary hit and rhythmic radio playlists in the US on January 23, 2011." — I doubt it was sent to playlists, more so the radio stations that operate them.
*"Digital Spy's Nick Levine gave the song a rating of four stars out of a possible five..." — Redundancy of "a possible".
*Any chance of a link in "ear-
frotting"? ...don't ask me how I knew that.
*" "S&M" had sold 643,000 copies in the UK
*..."many countries." — Vague, where for example?
*There seems to be a lot of repetition with years here. I think if you mention 2011, you don't need to repeat it on the next date so long as that date is in the same year.
*"In the US, the song debuted at number 53 on the Billboard Hot 100 on December 4, 2010." — Could this be given chronologically?
This is for now, more to come. -- Cassianto Talk 20:40, 10 July 2013 (UTC) All covered (I think!) Thanks so much for doing this: much appreciated! - SchroCat ( talk) 08:43, 11 July 2013 (UTC)
Part two
All done...phew, I need a cold bath after reading that! I must suggest some of this to Mrs Cassianto! -- Cassianto Talk 21:36, 11 July 2013 (UTC)