The article was refused for FA for lack of references and lack of a criticism section illustrating the controversies surrounding N. Sarkozy. I think I've remedied both. What do you think? David.Monniaux 07:42, 3 October 2005 (UTC)
It's looking good! I think some sections ramble a bit — the text could maybe be "tightened up" a little, and maybe could be split up more. And I'm not sure we need so much background on his family? I'm also a little concerned that there's too much implied criticism outside of the criticism section — eg. use of scare quotes in "he called for a "fairer" taxation system". But overall good, and a nice insight into French politics for this Brit. ;-) I've done a little copyediting (for English grammar etc.), and extracted the in-line references to the bottom "references" section. Hope that helps. — Johantheghost 12:11, 3 October 2005 (UTC)
Hi David! I am really happy you improved the criticism section. That's much better now. Time will tell whether this is NPOV but from my feeling I guess it is. The quotation section should be suppressed or improved. I would prefer improved! I too have the feeling the biography part should be reduced a bit. I think the most important points about him are his style, his political achievements, the criticisms and his ambition to be president: the rest could be reduced a lot. I think the English is not ready yet and you should wait a while till a native speaker copyedit it carefully. Vb 09:44, 4 October 2005 (UTC)
The article was refused for FA for lack of references and lack of a criticism section illustrating the controversies surrounding N. Sarkozy. I think I've remedied both. What do you think? David.Monniaux 07:42, 3 October 2005 (UTC)
It's looking good! I think some sections ramble a bit — the text could maybe be "tightened up" a little, and maybe could be split up more. And I'm not sure we need so much background on his family? I'm also a little concerned that there's too much implied criticism outside of the criticism section — eg. use of scare quotes in "he called for a "fairer" taxation system". But overall good, and a nice insight into French politics for this Brit. ;-) I've done a little copyediting (for English grammar etc.), and extracted the in-line references to the bottom "references" section. Hope that helps. — Johantheghost 12:11, 3 October 2005 (UTC)
Hi David! I am really happy you improved the criticism section. That's much better now. Time will tell whether this is NPOV but from my feeling I guess it is. The quotation section should be suppressed or improved. I would prefer improved! I too have the feeling the biography part should be reduced a bit. I think the most important points about him are his style, his political achievements, the criticisms and his ambition to be president: the rest could be reduced a lot. I think the English is not ready yet and you should wait a while till a native speaker copyedit it carefully. Vb 09:44, 4 October 2005 (UTC)