A script has been used to generate a semi-
automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and
house style; it can be found on the
automated peer review page for September 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've been working on the article for quite some time now, I've already had one Peer Review, and a failed FAC — so I want to know what can be done to the article, what improvements are required before I put it up for FAC again.
"The City of London (corresponding closely to the area of Roman London) together with Westminster, comprised the core of the built-up area in early mediaeval times." Use em dashes instead of parenthesis. - Done.
TheHelpfulOne(Review)16:27, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
"The largest entertainment venture of all time, The Phantom of the Opera, a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber, premiered here at Her Majesty's Theatre, and emerged as the highest grossing entertainment event in history, making US $3.3 billion, and earning an attendance of 80 million worldwide." Too long a sentence. - Done. --
TheHelpfulOne(Review)16:19, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
"London's success is as a service industry and business centre can be attributed to factors such as English being the native and dominant language of business, its former position as the capital of the British Empire, close relationship with the U.S. and various countries in Asia" Awkward, needs commas. - seems to be Done.
TheHelpfulOne(Review)20:25, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
I notice that almost all references are online, which is unusual for a city this large. Any library would have ample resources on London. Print sources are a valuable mine of info, and as an added bonus they are less likely to be questioned on reliability. I also see references that need information added (publishers, access dates, publication dates, etc.)
"The region covers an area of 609 square miles (1,579 km²). The population density is 12,331 people per square mile (4,761/km²)" Use the convert template for units. - Done.
TheHelpfulOne(Review)16:39, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
"his contemporary Ben Jonson was also based in London, and some of his work — most notably his play The Alchemist - was" That hyphen should be an em dash; additionally em dashes should be unspaced. - Done.
TheHelpfulOne(Review)16:39, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
Article has 55 kb of prose. I think this ranks it in the top five largest articles in terms of prose; perhaps summarize some sections further. Some suggestions:
A script has been used to generate a semi-
automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and
house style; it can be found on the
automated peer review page for September 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've been working on the article for quite some time now, I've already had one Peer Review, and a failed FAC — so I want to know what can be done to the article, what improvements are required before I put it up for FAC again.
"The City of London (corresponding closely to the area of Roman London) together with Westminster, comprised the core of the built-up area in early mediaeval times." Use em dashes instead of parenthesis. - Done.
TheHelpfulOne(Review)16:27, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
"The largest entertainment venture of all time, The Phantom of the Opera, a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber, premiered here at Her Majesty's Theatre, and emerged as the highest grossing entertainment event in history, making US $3.3 billion, and earning an attendance of 80 million worldwide." Too long a sentence. - Done. --
TheHelpfulOne(Review)16:19, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
"London's success is as a service industry and business centre can be attributed to factors such as English being the native and dominant language of business, its former position as the capital of the British Empire, close relationship with the U.S. and various countries in Asia" Awkward, needs commas. - seems to be Done.
TheHelpfulOne(Review)20:25, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
I notice that almost all references are online, which is unusual for a city this large. Any library would have ample resources on London. Print sources are a valuable mine of info, and as an added bonus they are less likely to be questioned on reliability. I also see references that need information added (publishers, access dates, publication dates, etc.)
"The region covers an area of 609 square miles (1,579 km²). The population density is 12,331 people per square mile (4,761/km²)" Use the convert template for units. - Done.
TheHelpfulOne(Review)16:39, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
"his contemporary Ben Jonson was also based in London, and some of his work — most notably his play The Alchemist - was" That hyphen should be an em dash; additionally em dashes should be unspaced. - Done.
TheHelpfulOne(Review)16:39, 25 September 2008 (UTC)reply
Article has 55 kb of prose. I think this ranks it in the top five largest articles in terms of prose; perhaps summarize some sections further. Some suggestions: