This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to know what is needed for this to become a GA, Thanks.
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Finetooth comments: I only have a few minutes, and then I have to dash off to a real-life situation, but I thought I'd post a few quick comments. Here they are:
I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. I'll try to say a bit more later. Finetooth ( talk) 18:45, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
Additional Finetooth comment: The article needs copyediting and proofing. I see small errors such as the use of present tense to describe an event in the past. The sudden shift to present occurs in the "Southwest" section: "Residual moisture brings more severe thunderstorms to the state on September 24 and 25. The Tucson area is particularly hard hit with flash flooding and hail as large as golf balls." In the sentence after this, a space should be inserted between the reference number and the first word of the next sentence. Two sentences later, the verb tenses are mixed again ("falling" and "accumulated"), and so on. However, I would suggest making the larger changes before asking someone to help with copyediting. Finetooth ( talk) 02:46, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to know what is needed for this to become a GA, Thanks.
Leave Message ,
Yellow Evan home ,
User:Yellow Evan/Sandbox
Finetooth comments: I only have a few minutes, and then I have to dash off to a real-life situation, but I thought I'd post a few quick comments. Here they are:
I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. I'll try to say a bit more later. Finetooth ( talk) 18:45, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
Additional Finetooth comment: The article needs copyediting and proofing. I see small errors such as the use of present tense to describe an event in the past. The sudden shift to present occurs in the "Southwest" section: "Residual moisture brings more severe thunderstorms to the state on September 24 and 25. The Tucson area is particularly hard hit with flash flooding and hail as large as golf balls." In the sentence after this, a space should be inserted between the reference number and the first word of the next sentence. Two sentences later, the verb tenses are mixed again ("falling" and "accumulated"), and so on. However, I would suggest making the larger changes before asking someone to help with copyediting. Finetooth ( talk) 02:46, 30 May 2009 (UTC)