A script has been used to generate a semi-
automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and
house style; it can be found on the
automated peer review page for July 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because this article is extremely detailed and accurate. The content in the article is extremely relevent and should be applauded.
Thanks,
Cadan ap Tomos (
talk) 14:43, 12 July 2008 (UTC)reply
Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. I think it needs a lot more work before it can be applauded with GA or FA status, but it is a good start. If you want more comments, please ask here.
A model article is useful for ideas and models to follow. The parent article here,
1994 San Marino Grand Prix, is FA and would make an excellent model.
As in the model and per
WP:LEAD, the lead needs to be expanded. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way - there has to be more than just one sentence.
The article needs many more references. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. Per
WP:CITE references come directly AFTER punctuation (no space), and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See
WP:CITE and
WP:V
Quotes are too long - summarize and use quotes carefully. Also make sure refs meet
WP:RS - what makes www.ayrton-senna.com a reliable source, for example?
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at
Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours,
Ruhrfisch><>°° 02:48, 15 July 2008 (UTC)reply
4u1e comments
I'll try and get back with some more detailed stuff. I agree with everything Ruhrfisch says above, and it occured to me that the
Tom Pryce article, also an FA, might be helpful as a model as well. Pryce was also killed in an accident during a race. Cheers.
4u1e (
talk) 07:46, 16 July 2008 (UTC)reply
Only another brief comment, I'm afraid: references are a real problem, especially as this is potentially a controversial topic. I would expect to see full use made of at least the following:
-Williams, Richard (1999). The Death of Ayrton Senna. City: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC.
ISBN0747544956. (not used)
The last two appear to be the best of the many, many biographies of Senna that are out there, most of which will cover his death. They are pretty cheap online, or you could get them via your local library. Good use could also be made of the
Autocourse or other season summaries for that year. Check out the
WP:MOTOR library at
Wikipedia:WikiProject_Motorsport/Library. Cheers.
4u1e (
talk) 07:58, 28 July 2008 (UTC)reply
A script has been used to generate a semi-
automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and
house style; it can be found on the
automated peer review page for July 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because this article is extremely detailed and accurate. The content in the article is extremely relevent and should be applauded.
Thanks,
Cadan ap Tomos (
talk) 14:43, 12 July 2008 (UTC)reply
Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. I think it needs a lot more work before it can be applauded with GA or FA status, but it is a good start. If you want more comments, please ask here.
A model article is useful for ideas and models to follow. The parent article here,
1994 San Marino Grand Prix, is FA and would make an excellent model.
As in the model and per
WP:LEAD, the lead needs to be expanded. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way - there has to be more than just one sentence.
The article needs many more references. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. Per
WP:CITE references come directly AFTER punctuation (no space), and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See
WP:CITE and
WP:V
Quotes are too long - summarize and use quotes carefully. Also make sure refs meet
WP:RS - what makes www.ayrton-senna.com a reliable source, for example?
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at
Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours,
Ruhrfisch><>°° 02:48, 15 July 2008 (UTC)reply
4u1e comments
I'll try and get back with some more detailed stuff. I agree with everything Ruhrfisch says above, and it occured to me that the
Tom Pryce article, also an FA, might be helpful as a model as well. Pryce was also killed in an accident during a race. Cheers.
4u1e (
talk) 07:46, 16 July 2008 (UTC)reply
Only another brief comment, I'm afraid: references are a real problem, especially as this is potentially a controversial topic. I would expect to see full use made of at least the following:
-Williams, Richard (1999). The Death of Ayrton Senna. City: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC.
ISBN0747544956. (not used)
The last two appear to be the best of the many, many biographies of Senna that are out there, most of which will cover his death. They are pretty cheap online, or you could get them via your local library. Good use could also be made of the
Autocourse or other season summaries for that year. Check out the
WP:MOTOR library at
Wikipedia:WikiProject_Motorsport/Library. Cheers.
4u1e (
talk) 07:58, 28 July 2008 (UTC)reply