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I've listed this article for peer review because I plan to send it to FAC soon-ish and I wanted to get some last-minute issues with the religious aspects dealth with before dispatching it.
Thanks, Jo-Jo Eumerus ( talk, contributions) 20:15, 5 September 2019 (UTC)
Here's a full top-to-tail nitpick. With your initial post about prepping this for FAC in mind, I'm commenting with the nitpicking turned up to maximum in terms of facts and comprehensibility, although I'm explicitly not commenting on minor grammatical issues since the exact wording will change between now and any FA candidacy. This is the version on which I'm commenting; as (I hope) you'll appreciate I have no particular inclination to read such things as "K-Ar geochronology of the late cenozoic volcanic rocks of the Cordillera Occidental, southernmost Peru" or "Trace element distribution in the cainozoic lavas of Nevado Coropuna and Andagua Valley, Central Andes of Southern Peru", let alone the French, Spanish, German, Italian or Arabic-language sources, so am taking it on trust that all sources say what you claim they say; I'm also assuming that all the technical terms are correct as I wouldn't know a lahar from an endorheic basin if my life depended on it.
located 150 kilometres (93 miles) from ArequipaI'd be more specific and say something like "located 150km northwest of Arequipa and 500km southeast of Lima" or even "roughly halfway between Lima and La Paz". Realistically most readers aren't going to have the faintest idea where Arequipa is. (The location is clarified in the body text, but a lot of readers only read the lead.)
The mountain was considered sacred by the Inca … The volcano also appears in mythologyseems like a tautology to me.
The word puna means "plateau" and coro is a common component of toponyms…—in which language? (I can see by the underlying wikicode that this is Quechua, but there's no reason a reader would guess that given that most readers will know that Spanish is the main language of Peru.)
Mining takes place as well—is this actually on the volcano itself? Unless there's a kimberlite pipe or a sulphur deposit, I struggle to imagine what could be mined on an active volcano.
Coropuna has a pear-shaped outline. This is a stupid question, but assume readers are stupid; does this mean it's shaped like a pear when viewed from above, or that it has the appearance of a pear when viewed from a distance on the ground?
The most commonly cited maximum height for the volcano is 6,377 metres (20,922 ft),[36][52][34][62][56][1][11][42][63][10] which refers to the northwestern dome of the mountain[33][52][34][1][31]do look fairly weird.
The Coropuna ice cap is larger than the ice cap at Quelccaya […] which was often considered to be the largest.needs clarification. As currently worded it makes it appear that the sizes of the two caps were previously mismeasured and that the error has now been corrected, but ( according to NASA, anyway) what's actually happened is that Quelccaya was correctly measured as larger in the past but is melting at a faster rate owing to its lower altitude, allowing Coropuna to overtake it.
In the past, before the first human settlement of the area, the icecap on Coropuna was much larger than today, with its surface exceeding 500 square kilometres—when are we talking about here, and why was the icecap vastly larger then it was during the Last Glacial Maximum (365km2), given that that's when you'd expect the icecap to be largest?
and at least two pre-LGM advances spread beyond the area that was covered with ice during the LGM) and that this mega-size was during the pre-LGM glacier advance. From Heine 2019 it seems like the whole chronology is a bit of a mess; I am a little unsure how to word this without distracting people with an essay on the chronology first. Jo-Jo Eumerus ( talk, contributions) 20:15, 5 September 2019 (UTC)
Peat bogs have been found especially on the southern and southwestern sides of the volcano—again I don't doubt this, but I'm struggling to see how that could work on an active volcano. Peat is extremely inflammable and notoriously difficult to extinguish once a fire starts—surely every time there was even the smallest eruption any peat deposits would burn away?
No historical eruptions of Coropuna are knownconfuses me since the lead says the last eruption was 700 ± 200 years ago. Are you using "historical" here in the technical sense of "witnessed by someone who wrote down what they saw"? Either way it should probably be clarified.
The region around the volcano was settled over the last 4,000 years—I don't doubt this, but make sure it's meticulously sourced. There are confirmed human remains in Peru dating back 15,000 years, and while it's not as high-profile as some of the better-known "this was our land first" disputes, "who settled where and when in the pre-Columbian Americas?" is a long-running slow-burning dispute.
A larger number of archeological sites arose during the 2nd Intermediate Period—I have no idea what this means.
Coropuna played an important role in Inca religion and an important temple was situated there—is this temple Maucallacta (mentioned in the next paragraph) and if not, do any remains exist of this temple, and was it situated at the summit or just somewhere in the area?
The western summit known as "La Nina"—presumably the Incas didn't call it that, it needs a "now known as" unless that genuinely was the Incan name.
This whole section is very confusing, and I can't really figure it out. Are we still talking about Incan religion in which case what is St Francis of Assisi doing in there, or are we talking about post-conquest Catholicism in which case how is the mountain the abode of the dead since presumably the dead have all been duly sent to heaven or hell? Regarding The mountain is still worshipped today
, who's worshipping it—have some vestiges of pre-conquest religion survived the Inquisition, or is this by new-age-pagan types or a modern attempt to re-create the ancient religion? I know almost nothing about Peruvian religion but our
Religion in Peru article gives no indication that there are any religions active in Peru that might still be worshipping mountains, and Wikipedia's religious articles tend to be fairly accurate since adherents see it as a duty to correct errors.
Noteworthy in this vein is the fact that the pious among today's Peruvian peasantry believe that Saint Francis has alighted on top of an active volcano, the sacred Mount Coropuna, where the Poverello of Assisi awaits the souls of dead Andeans to fly into his paternal armsin the source; I've reworded this a little but I am not sure if it's better now. Jo-Jo Eumerus ( talk, contributions) 20:15, 5 September 2019 (UTC)
The Peruvian government has assumed that the icecap will cease to be a source of water by 2025, although a more recent study concludes that the icecap will persist until about 2120—are these dates correct? 2025 is only 6 years away; surely if the glaciers were going to disappear over that sort of timescale it would be apparent by now.
The other summits of the mountain were ascended later, one of which was reached either 2003 or 2013—again, this confuses me. The source is equally confusing—unless there's clarity as to who climbed where and when, I'd be inclined to just leave it out.
I've intentionally posted this here rather than on the article talk page, so anyone else looking at the talkpage doesn't see what looks like a laundry list of complaints and get the mistaken impression that this is an article with major issues rather than just a batch of very minor quibbles. If you'd rather have it on Talk:Coropuna or Wikipedia:Peer review/Coropuna/archive1, feel free to cut-and-paste it to somewhere else. ‑ Iridescent 18:17, 5 September 2019 (UTC)
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![]() | This peer review discussion has been closed. |
I've listed this article for peer review because I plan to send it to FAC soon-ish and I wanted to get some last-minute issues with the religious aspects dealth with before dispatching it.
Thanks, Jo-Jo Eumerus ( talk, contributions) 20:15, 5 September 2019 (UTC)
Here's a full top-to-tail nitpick. With your initial post about prepping this for FAC in mind, I'm commenting with the nitpicking turned up to maximum in terms of facts and comprehensibility, although I'm explicitly not commenting on minor grammatical issues since the exact wording will change between now and any FA candidacy. This is the version on which I'm commenting; as (I hope) you'll appreciate I have no particular inclination to read such things as "K-Ar geochronology of the late cenozoic volcanic rocks of the Cordillera Occidental, southernmost Peru" or "Trace element distribution in the cainozoic lavas of Nevado Coropuna and Andagua Valley, Central Andes of Southern Peru", let alone the French, Spanish, German, Italian or Arabic-language sources, so am taking it on trust that all sources say what you claim they say; I'm also assuming that all the technical terms are correct as I wouldn't know a lahar from an endorheic basin if my life depended on it.
located 150 kilometres (93 miles) from ArequipaI'd be more specific and say something like "located 150km northwest of Arequipa and 500km southeast of Lima" or even "roughly halfway between Lima and La Paz". Realistically most readers aren't going to have the faintest idea where Arequipa is. (The location is clarified in the body text, but a lot of readers only read the lead.)
The mountain was considered sacred by the Inca … The volcano also appears in mythologyseems like a tautology to me.
The word puna means "plateau" and coro is a common component of toponyms…—in which language? (I can see by the underlying wikicode that this is Quechua, but there's no reason a reader would guess that given that most readers will know that Spanish is the main language of Peru.)
Mining takes place as well—is this actually on the volcano itself? Unless there's a kimberlite pipe or a sulphur deposit, I struggle to imagine what could be mined on an active volcano.
Coropuna has a pear-shaped outline. This is a stupid question, but assume readers are stupid; does this mean it's shaped like a pear when viewed from above, or that it has the appearance of a pear when viewed from a distance on the ground?
The most commonly cited maximum height for the volcano is 6,377 metres (20,922 ft),[36][52][34][62][56][1][11][42][63][10] which refers to the northwestern dome of the mountain[33][52][34][1][31]do look fairly weird.
The Coropuna ice cap is larger than the ice cap at Quelccaya […] which was often considered to be the largest.needs clarification. As currently worded it makes it appear that the sizes of the two caps were previously mismeasured and that the error has now been corrected, but ( according to NASA, anyway) what's actually happened is that Quelccaya was correctly measured as larger in the past but is melting at a faster rate owing to its lower altitude, allowing Coropuna to overtake it.
In the past, before the first human settlement of the area, the icecap on Coropuna was much larger than today, with its surface exceeding 500 square kilometres—when are we talking about here, and why was the icecap vastly larger then it was during the Last Glacial Maximum (365km2), given that that's when you'd expect the icecap to be largest?
and at least two pre-LGM advances spread beyond the area that was covered with ice during the LGM) and that this mega-size was during the pre-LGM glacier advance. From Heine 2019 it seems like the whole chronology is a bit of a mess; I am a little unsure how to word this without distracting people with an essay on the chronology first. Jo-Jo Eumerus ( talk, contributions) 20:15, 5 September 2019 (UTC)
Peat bogs have been found especially on the southern and southwestern sides of the volcano—again I don't doubt this, but I'm struggling to see how that could work on an active volcano. Peat is extremely inflammable and notoriously difficult to extinguish once a fire starts—surely every time there was even the smallest eruption any peat deposits would burn away?
No historical eruptions of Coropuna are knownconfuses me since the lead says the last eruption was 700 ± 200 years ago. Are you using "historical" here in the technical sense of "witnessed by someone who wrote down what they saw"? Either way it should probably be clarified.
The region around the volcano was settled over the last 4,000 years—I don't doubt this, but make sure it's meticulously sourced. There are confirmed human remains in Peru dating back 15,000 years, and while it's not as high-profile as some of the better-known "this was our land first" disputes, "who settled where and when in the pre-Columbian Americas?" is a long-running slow-burning dispute.
A larger number of archeological sites arose during the 2nd Intermediate Period—I have no idea what this means.
Coropuna played an important role in Inca religion and an important temple was situated there—is this temple Maucallacta (mentioned in the next paragraph) and if not, do any remains exist of this temple, and was it situated at the summit or just somewhere in the area?
The western summit known as "La Nina"—presumably the Incas didn't call it that, it needs a "now known as" unless that genuinely was the Incan name.
This whole section is very confusing, and I can't really figure it out. Are we still talking about Incan religion in which case what is St Francis of Assisi doing in there, or are we talking about post-conquest Catholicism in which case how is the mountain the abode of the dead since presumably the dead have all been duly sent to heaven or hell? Regarding The mountain is still worshipped today
, who's worshipping it—have some vestiges of pre-conquest religion survived the Inquisition, or is this by new-age-pagan types or a modern attempt to re-create the ancient religion? I know almost nothing about Peruvian religion but our
Religion in Peru article gives no indication that there are any religions active in Peru that might still be worshipping mountains, and Wikipedia's religious articles tend to be fairly accurate since adherents see it as a duty to correct errors.
Noteworthy in this vein is the fact that the pious among today's Peruvian peasantry believe that Saint Francis has alighted on top of an active volcano, the sacred Mount Coropuna, where the Poverello of Assisi awaits the souls of dead Andeans to fly into his paternal armsin the source; I've reworded this a little but I am not sure if it's better now. Jo-Jo Eumerus ( talk, contributions) 20:15, 5 September 2019 (UTC)
The Peruvian government has assumed that the icecap will cease to be a source of water by 2025, although a more recent study concludes that the icecap will persist until about 2120—are these dates correct? 2025 is only 6 years away; surely if the glaciers were going to disappear over that sort of timescale it would be apparent by now.
The other summits of the mountain were ascended later, one of which was reached either 2003 or 2013—again, this confuses me. The source is equally confusing—unless there's clarity as to who climbed where and when, I'd be inclined to just leave it out.
I've intentionally posted this here rather than on the article talk page, so anyone else looking at the talkpage doesn't see what looks like a laundry list of complaints and get the mistaken impression that this is an article with major issues rather than just a batch of very minor quibbles. If you'd rather have it on Talk:Coropuna or Wikipedia:Peer review/Coropuna/archive1, feel free to cut-and-paste it to somewhere else. ‑ Iridescent 18:17, 5 September 2019 (UTC)