This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd eventually like to get it up to FA. A previous review was done before the GA, and those two both helped shiny everything up.
Ironholds (
talk)
15:55, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, Ironholds ( talk) 15:55, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
Comments from Ealdgyth ( talk · contribs)
Comments from Tim riley ( talk · contribs)
Good stuff, and a good read! Generally there are a lot of semi colons in this piece. You might perhaps consider chopping some of the relevant sentences into two sentences. Otherwise, only a few pernickety points on grammar, usage etc.:
*Quotation marks: you have used the English version (single quotes) rather than the American (double) – but the latter is the Wikipedia standard.
::Maybe - but look out at GA review!
Tim riley (
talk)
21:11, 5 April 2009 (UTC)
*"led to Denning being invited in 1949" – grammatically, gerund needed here – "Denning's being invited…"
*" altered on what grounds hospital staff" – suggest "altered the grounds on which…." – and semi colon after it needs to be a comma.
I see you have not mentioned Denning's ruling against Ken Livingstone's "Fares Fare" policy in the 1980s, for which many Londoners will not forget or forgive him, but let that pass. An admirable article, and I'm sure it will go well.
Tim riley (
talk)
17:47, 5 April 2009 (UTC)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd eventually like to get it up to FA. A previous review was done before the GA, and those two both helped shiny everything up.
Ironholds (
talk)
15:55, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, Ironholds ( talk) 15:55, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
Comments from Ealdgyth ( talk · contribs)
Comments from Tim riley ( talk · contribs)
Good stuff, and a good read! Generally there are a lot of semi colons in this piece. You might perhaps consider chopping some of the relevant sentences into two sentences. Otherwise, only a few pernickety points on grammar, usage etc.:
*Quotation marks: you have used the English version (single quotes) rather than the American (double) – but the latter is the Wikipedia standard.
::Maybe - but look out at GA review!
Tim riley (
talk)
21:11, 5 April 2009 (UTC)
*"led to Denning being invited in 1949" – grammatically, gerund needed here – "Denning's being invited…"
*" altered on what grounds hospital staff" – suggest "altered the grounds on which…." – and semi colon after it needs to be a comma.
I see you have not mentioned Denning's ruling against Ken Livingstone's "Fares Fare" policy in the 1980s, for which many Londoners will not forget or forgive him, but let that pass. An admirable article, and I'm sure it will go well.
Tim riley (
talk)
17:47, 5 April 2009 (UTC)