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I've listed this article for peer review because I am looking to bring this to GAN, and eventually FAC, and would like some comments for improvement. Thanks, Z1720 ( talk) 02:07, 12 October 2022 (UTC)
"Abishabis preached that he had visited heaven and that followers could use a Cree writing system to create religious relics, which their purpose is disputed among academics."Should it be "... religious relics, the purpose of which is disputed among academics."?
"Academics give various explanations for what these lines depicted: academic Lee Irwin said that these documents were paths to heaven and hell,[22] professor Philip H. Round said the group believed they could use the symbols to determine the will of spirits which would allow the Cree to purify themselves,[1] while Williamson said Abishabis's revelations were to determine possible futures for the Cree people.[23]". This sentence is rather long. It might be better to split it into several shorter ones.
"Other followers slowly began to disavow themselves of Abishabis’s teachings and destroyed materials that were inspired by him."Should it be "disavow themselves from Abishabis’s teachings"? I think "disavow of" is only used when disavow is a noun.
"Abishabis murdered a First Nations family living near York Factory". But this source talks only of a suspicion of murdering. I haven't checked the other sources to see whether they support the stronger claim. This would also be relevant for the section "Arrest and death".
@ Phlsph7: Thanks for your comments. Here are some responses:
Thanks again for your help. Z1720 ( talk) 15:30, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
Toolbox |
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![]() | This peer review discussion is closed. |
I've listed this article for peer review because I am looking to bring this to GAN, and eventually FAC, and would like some comments for improvement. Thanks, Z1720 ( talk) 02:07, 12 October 2022 (UTC)
"Abishabis preached that he had visited heaven and that followers could use a Cree writing system to create religious relics, which their purpose is disputed among academics."Should it be "... religious relics, the purpose of which is disputed among academics."?
"Academics give various explanations for what these lines depicted: academic Lee Irwin said that these documents were paths to heaven and hell,[22] professor Philip H. Round said the group believed they could use the symbols to determine the will of spirits which would allow the Cree to purify themselves,[1] while Williamson said Abishabis's revelations were to determine possible futures for the Cree people.[23]". This sentence is rather long. It might be better to split it into several shorter ones.
"Other followers slowly began to disavow themselves of Abishabis’s teachings and destroyed materials that were inspired by him."Should it be "disavow themselves from Abishabis’s teachings"? I think "disavow of" is only used when disavow is a noun.
"Abishabis murdered a First Nations family living near York Factory". But this source talks only of a suspicion of murdering. I haven't checked the other sources to see whether they support the stronger claim. This would also be relevant for the section "Arrest and death".
@ Phlsph7: Thanks for your comments. Here are some responses:
Thanks again for your help. Z1720 ( talk) 15:30, 20 October 2022 (UTC)