The article was promoted by Ian Rose via FACBot ( talk) 30 June 2020 [1].
The vermilion flycatcher is a bright red little bird found through much of the Americas. True to their name, they are aerial insectivores, and are quite nimble in flight. They are unique among the generally drab flycatchers due to their vibrant coloration. This is the second in my series of "cute birds I see outside my office window that should have FA's". I took it to GA status earlier this year, and it recently received a GOCE copy-edit, hope you folks enjoy it. CaptainEek Edits Ho Cap'n! ⚓ 03:37, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
Here are my initial comments.
Most flycatchers are quite drab, but the vermilion flycatcher is a striking exception.- I think this can be rephrased, because it sounds weird to mention "most flycatchers" first before this specific flycatcher species.
Their song is a pit pit pit pidddrrrreedrr, which is variable and important in establishing a territory. They prefer riparian habitats and semi-open environments. They are aerial insectivores, catching their insect-based diet while flying. Their several months–long molt begins in summer.- four consecutive sentences beginning with "they" or a variant thereof. I suggest switching it up a bit. Same with
They are monogamous but will engage in extra-pair copulation. They also practice intra-specific brood parasitism, where females lay their eggs in the nest of another vermilion flycatcher..
including the now extinct San Cristóbal flycatcher- technically the adjectival form (and less confusing wording) is "now-extinct", but since this is not tagged as being any variant of English, this can be ignored.
The overall population numbers in the millions—leading it to be considered a species of least concern by the International Union for the Conservation of Nature.- is it possible to say this in active voice? e.g. "The overall population numbers in the millions, and so the International Union for the Conservation of Nature considers it a species of least concern".
Taxonomy and systematics
The first description of the vermilion flycatcher was in 1839 (some sources say 1838) by John Gould, who created the current genus Pyrocephalus.- OK, so which sources say 1838 and which say 1839? This makes it sound like 1838 is the wrong date. Is there a source for 1839 being the definite right date? Otherwise say "1838 or 1839"
Prior to the study it was considered a monotypic genus, but most taxonomists (including the International Ornithologists' Union),- last comma not needed
now believe that up to three of the vermilion flycatcher subspecies merit species status (Darwin's, San Cristóbal, and scarlet flycatcher).- this sentence has 2 parentheticals which break up the flow.
Description
Males are not easily mistaken for other species, but the drab females may be confused with the Say's phoebe.[4]- generally one-sentence paragraphs should be combined with others, unless there is a specific reason.
Worn feathers are replaced by molting. Molting takes between 62 and 79 days and begins in July—lasting until September- first, is it possible to combine the two sentences? It sounds strange to have the same word repeat consecutively: "molting. Molting". Second, I am unsure if the dash is necessary, or can merely be replaced by other punctuation like a comma.
described as a pt-pt-pre-ee-een- would it be useful to say who described this?
for example, populations in Arizona and Texas only sing from late February through July- would this be geographically related?
Distribution and habitat
as a breeding range they prefer cottonwood or mesquite tree canopies, although Fremont cottonwoods were not favored- "as a breeding range" also sounds somewhat strange.
Goodding's willow was preferred as a nesting site where found.- using passive voice also sounds strange.
More later. epicgenius ( talk) 13:23, 4 June 2020 (UTC)
While active, about 90% of their day is spent perching, and only 4–11% is spent chasing prey.- is the upper limit 11%? Because 90+11=more than 100
39% of laid eggs were successfully raised to fledglings.- I recommend not starting the sentence with a numeral.
@ CaptainEek: I guess that's all. epicgenius ( talk) 14:03, 15 June 2020 (UTC)
Unfortunatly I don't have time to review much text now, but here's a media review. All photos have appropriate sourcing and licencing. FunkMonk ( talk) 20:46, 22 May 2020 (UTC)
Your second FAC :) Will add all my comments in a few days. Also, I will be listing this review in my WikiCup submissions. Cheers, Sainsf ( t · c) 13:57, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
As aerial insectivores, they catch their insect-based diet while flyingIs "insect" not a bit repetitive? How about "prey"?
Vermilion flycatchers also practice...nest of another vermilion flycatcherYou can say another "individual" or something to avoid repeating the long name in the same line
led to the creation of several new speciesIs "creation" be the right word? I think "identification" would be more appropriate
having split off around 0.82 myaAdd a link to genetic divergence
on the second voyage of HMS BeagleBeagle should be in italics, and it would be great to mention the year
It prefers pine savanna habitatsLink savanna here only, it is linked later
The molt is fairly slow compared to other speciesto other species of the genus or the family or something else?
in the nest of another vermilion flycatcherYou may wish to reword it to "another individual" for reasons I mentioned in a similar point above, not so necessary here though
The flycatcher is a frequent victim of brood parasitismBrood parasitism is a duplink
Eggs are ovateFor someone unsure what "ovate" means, a Google search says egg-like shape, or oval in outline. Doesn't ovate sound redundant, maybe the difficult goes away if we say "oval"?
1.6 g (0.056 oz)A tip, if converted measurements turn out too precise like this one, you can set the |sigfig= parameter in the template to 3 to round it off to 0.06 oz.
while the female builds an additional nestI am curious, why another nest?
varied from 59–80%→ "from 59 to 80%"
The vermilion flycatcher is a favorite with birders. They are not generally kept in avicultureThe bird is mentioned in singular in the first line and in plural in the second. Both need to be either singular or plural for consistency (else "they" technically implies birders!)
publishes a journal named for the vermilion flycatcherUnless the name is just "Vermilion flycatcher" we can mention it by name here
estimated as ranging betweenWhen are these estimates of?
even though its overall numbers are decliningI think this would look better if combined with the next line where you start giving examples of this, this line is already long enough with details and you mention "least concern" followed by this contradictory fact all of a sudden in a single line.
That's all from me. Thanks for this beautiful and fascinating read :) Sainsf ( t · c) 05:32, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
Looking alright....
Otherwise looking on track.... Cas Liber ( talk · contribs) 14:29, 3 June 2020 (UTC)
Very comprehensive, just a couple of things before I support.
-- Jens Lallensack ( talk) 15:40, 6 June 2020 (UTC)
CaptainEek, are you still interested in pursuing this nom? If so we need your responses to all the outstanding comments above ASAP or I'll have to archive this. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 08:49, 14 June 2020 (UTC)
@ Epicgenius: are you satisfied? And do we have a source review? CaptainEek, am I right this is your second FAC? -- Ealdgyth ( talk) 14:13, 22 June 2020 (UTC)
Ealdgyth, @ Ian Rose: I have secured a source review, image review, and a number of prose reviews, what do you folks think? CaptainEek Edits Ho Cap'n! ⚓ 03:24, 27 June 2020 (UTC)
The article was promoted by Ian Rose via FACBot ( talk) 30 June 2020 [1].
The vermilion flycatcher is a bright red little bird found through much of the Americas. True to their name, they are aerial insectivores, and are quite nimble in flight. They are unique among the generally drab flycatchers due to their vibrant coloration. This is the second in my series of "cute birds I see outside my office window that should have FA's". I took it to GA status earlier this year, and it recently received a GOCE copy-edit, hope you folks enjoy it. CaptainEek Edits Ho Cap'n! ⚓ 03:37, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
Here are my initial comments.
Most flycatchers are quite drab, but the vermilion flycatcher is a striking exception.- I think this can be rephrased, because it sounds weird to mention "most flycatchers" first before this specific flycatcher species.
Their song is a pit pit pit pidddrrrreedrr, which is variable and important in establishing a territory. They prefer riparian habitats and semi-open environments. They are aerial insectivores, catching their insect-based diet while flying. Their several months–long molt begins in summer.- four consecutive sentences beginning with "they" or a variant thereof. I suggest switching it up a bit. Same with
They are monogamous but will engage in extra-pair copulation. They also practice intra-specific brood parasitism, where females lay their eggs in the nest of another vermilion flycatcher..
including the now extinct San Cristóbal flycatcher- technically the adjectival form (and less confusing wording) is "now-extinct", but since this is not tagged as being any variant of English, this can be ignored.
The overall population numbers in the millions—leading it to be considered a species of least concern by the International Union for the Conservation of Nature.- is it possible to say this in active voice? e.g. "The overall population numbers in the millions, and so the International Union for the Conservation of Nature considers it a species of least concern".
Taxonomy and systematics
The first description of the vermilion flycatcher was in 1839 (some sources say 1838) by John Gould, who created the current genus Pyrocephalus.- OK, so which sources say 1838 and which say 1839? This makes it sound like 1838 is the wrong date. Is there a source for 1839 being the definite right date? Otherwise say "1838 or 1839"
Prior to the study it was considered a monotypic genus, but most taxonomists (including the International Ornithologists' Union),- last comma not needed
now believe that up to three of the vermilion flycatcher subspecies merit species status (Darwin's, San Cristóbal, and scarlet flycatcher).- this sentence has 2 parentheticals which break up the flow.
Description
Males are not easily mistaken for other species, but the drab females may be confused with the Say's phoebe.[4]- generally one-sentence paragraphs should be combined with others, unless there is a specific reason.
Worn feathers are replaced by molting. Molting takes between 62 and 79 days and begins in July—lasting until September- first, is it possible to combine the two sentences? It sounds strange to have the same word repeat consecutively: "molting. Molting". Second, I am unsure if the dash is necessary, or can merely be replaced by other punctuation like a comma.
described as a pt-pt-pre-ee-een- would it be useful to say who described this?
for example, populations in Arizona and Texas only sing from late February through July- would this be geographically related?
Distribution and habitat
as a breeding range they prefer cottonwood or mesquite tree canopies, although Fremont cottonwoods were not favored- "as a breeding range" also sounds somewhat strange.
Goodding's willow was preferred as a nesting site where found.- using passive voice also sounds strange.
More later. epicgenius ( talk) 13:23, 4 June 2020 (UTC)
While active, about 90% of their day is spent perching, and only 4–11% is spent chasing prey.- is the upper limit 11%? Because 90+11=more than 100
39% of laid eggs were successfully raised to fledglings.- I recommend not starting the sentence with a numeral.
@ CaptainEek: I guess that's all. epicgenius ( talk) 14:03, 15 June 2020 (UTC)
Unfortunatly I don't have time to review much text now, but here's a media review. All photos have appropriate sourcing and licencing. FunkMonk ( talk) 20:46, 22 May 2020 (UTC)
Your second FAC :) Will add all my comments in a few days. Also, I will be listing this review in my WikiCup submissions. Cheers, Sainsf ( t · c) 13:57, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
As aerial insectivores, they catch their insect-based diet while flyingIs "insect" not a bit repetitive? How about "prey"?
Vermilion flycatchers also practice...nest of another vermilion flycatcherYou can say another "individual" or something to avoid repeating the long name in the same line
led to the creation of several new speciesIs "creation" be the right word? I think "identification" would be more appropriate
having split off around 0.82 myaAdd a link to genetic divergence
on the second voyage of HMS BeagleBeagle should be in italics, and it would be great to mention the year
It prefers pine savanna habitatsLink savanna here only, it is linked later
The molt is fairly slow compared to other speciesto other species of the genus or the family or something else?
in the nest of another vermilion flycatcherYou may wish to reword it to "another individual" for reasons I mentioned in a similar point above, not so necessary here though
The flycatcher is a frequent victim of brood parasitismBrood parasitism is a duplink
Eggs are ovateFor someone unsure what "ovate" means, a Google search says egg-like shape, or oval in outline. Doesn't ovate sound redundant, maybe the difficult goes away if we say "oval"?
1.6 g (0.056 oz)A tip, if converted measurements turn out too precise like this one, you can set the |sigfig= parameter in the template to 3 to round it off to 0.06 oz.
while the female builds an additional nestI am curious, why another nest?
varied from 59–80%→ "from 59 to 80%"
The vermilion flycatcher is a favorite with birders. They are not generally kept in avicultureThe bird is mentioned in singular in the first line and in plural in the second. Both need to be either singular or plural for consistency (else "they" technically implies birders!)
publishes a journal named for the vermilion flycatcherUnless the name is just "Vermilion flycatcher" we can mention it by name here
estimated as ranging betweenWhen are these estimates of?
even though its overall numbers are decliningI think this would look better if combined with the next line where you start giving examples of this, this line is already long enough with details and you mention "least concern" followed by this contradictory fact all of a sudden in a single line.
That's all from me. Thanks for this beautiful and fascinating read :) Sainsf ( t · c) 05:32, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
Looking alright....
Otherwise looking on track.... Cas Liber ( talk · contribs) 14:29, 3 June 2020 (UTC)
Very comprehensive, just a couple of things before I support.
-- Jens Lallensack ( talk) 15:40, 6 June 2020 (UTC)
CaptainEek, are you still interested in pursuing this nom? If so we need your responses to all the outstanding comments above ASAP or I'll have to archive this. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 08:49, 14 June 2020 (UTC)
@ Epicgenius: are you satisfied? And do we have a source review? CaptainEek, am I right this is your second FAC? -- Ealdgyth ( talk) 14:13, 22 June 2020 (UTC)
Ealdgyth, @ Ian Rose: I have secured a source review, image review, and a number of prose reviews, what do you folks think? CaptainEek Edits Ho Cap'n! ⚓ 03:24, 27 June 2020 (UTC)