- I have a question about the lead. Is it necessary to put all of the actors' names in parenthesis by the characters' names? The paragraph is quite dense with names, so I think that removing the actors' names would help to make this part more readable.
- Agree, I removed them for conciseness.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- I have two questions about this sentence: "It is based on
S. S. Vasan's novel of the same name, which was
serialised in the magazine
Ananda Vikatan." Do we know when the novel was first serialised in the magazine? If so, would it be helpful/beneficial to include the year in the prose to give the reader a better understanding of the timeline?
- Added 1934. It most likely ended serialisation in 1935, but I can't prove it, so didn't that.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- I would recommend putting the citations in numeric order. It may not be required for a featured article, but I always found it to be helpful.
- I do not think the descriptive phrase "the British writer" is necessary for this part "based on the British writer
Ellen Wood's 1860 novel, Danesbury House". It is not used in the lead either so it would be more consistent to remove it here.
- I considered doing that, but the article belongs to
Category:Films based on British novels. Therefore, describing Ellen Wood as British helps it right?
Kailash29792
(talk)
06:00, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- My main concern is that the phrase is not used in the lead so it is a little inconsistent. I would recommend adding it to the lead too.
Aoba47 (
talk)
17:41, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- For this part "at a mock tea party arranged for this purpose", I do not think "arranged for this purpose" is necessary as I think it can be assumed from context that Ramanathan arranged the party for this purpose without explicitly saying it.
- I am a little confused by this sentence: "Krishnamurthy finds a treasure and gives it to his master, who is pleased and adopts him as his son." What is the treasure? How did he find a treasure at a tea estate?
- The plot in the pressbook mentions a "treasure trove". Tell me once you read it.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- I actually forgot while reading the article that this was a lost film so I had erroneously assumed there was more detail about this. Apologies for that. Since there is not any further details about this point available, I think it should be good in its current state. Looking through the pressbook is rather cool so thank you for finding and including it in the article.
Aoba47 (
talk)
18:42, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- For this part "When the servant came out Ramanathan picked up", there should be a comma after "out".
- Done.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- Since Tamil is linked in the lead, I would also link it on the first instance in the body of the article, which would be here: "Pathi Bhakthi was a Tamil play,".
- Done.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- For this part "said that after Bhakta Nandanar's release Tandon asked", there should be a comma after "release".
- Done.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- Would it be helpful to link "copyright violation"?
- I pondered over this for long; the words "copyright violation" were there long before I started editing this article, but Sathi Leelavathi was actually involved in a case of plagiarism. Is CV still the right word to use? --
Kailash29792
(talk)
06:00, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- I am actually not sure. CV could still be correct as a copyright may be placed on an idea or book during publishing, but that is outside my area of expertise. I will leave that up to other reviewers.
Aoba47 (
talk)
17:43, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- I would rephrase this part "including the same name of the female leads (Leelavathi)." to something like "including the female leads having the same name (Leelavathi)". Something about the current wording seems off to me, but it may just be me.
- Done as suggested. The earlier phrasing was by the GOCE.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- Ceylon is linked twice in the article when it should only be linked once on the first appearance.
- Done: linked only twice now, the lead and plot sections.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- For this part "to deliver the dialogues naturally, with natural acting", I do not think "with natural acting" is needed as that can be assumed/understood from the previous part of the sentence.
- Done, but you understood the context right?
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- I do. That's why I suggested removing that part because I found it unnecessarily repetitive.
Aoba47 (
talk)
17:44, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- For this part "According to Dungan, when the actors faced the camera they", I would add a coma after "camera".
- Done.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- For this part "the plight of Tamil Nadu labourers on Ceylon's tea estates", I would link "Tamil Nadu".
- Done.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- For the "Themes" section, I was wondering if either of the sources discuss further about how alcoholism and chastity are represented in the film? I was just curious because the information is rather brief in the section.
- Nope, the sources only mention them as themes without elaborating further.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- Understandable. Thank you for the clarification.
Aoba47 (
talk)
17:45, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- I would include a brief sentence about the themes in the lead.
- Now I've written "Sathi Leelavathi explores themes such as temperance, social reform, selfless service and the plight of labourers" in the third para for balance. That good? --
Kailash29792
(talk)
06:01, 14 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- Looks good to me; thank you for addressing this.
Aoba47 (
talk)
19:01, 14 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- I would move the link to "temperance movement" to this part "Sathi Leelavathi explores the themes of temperance" since that is where temperance is referenced for the first time in the article.
- Done.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- For this part "in one scene Dungan showed the dancing girl as seen by the inebriated protagonist, and in another Dungan", I would add a comma after "scene" and "another".
- Done.
Kailash29792
(talk)
07:34, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- The article seems to repeat the information about the strict discipline, shooting by schedule, camera mobility, cabaret dances and less-theatrical acting in the "Filming" and "Legacy" section.
- I can cut down the wording in "Legacy", is this good? The features that Dungan introduced in the film became staples of Tamil cinema.?
Kailash29792
(talk)
06:48, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- Looks good to me. Thank you for addressing this.
Aoba47 (
talk)
17:45, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- I have a question about this part "M. S. Murugesan as Marwari". Is this referring to this part "A
Marwari who lent a large sum to Krishnamurthy to support his lavish lifestyle obtains a repayment warrant" from the "Plot" section? *Is the character referred to as just Marwari in the credits? Just wanted to clarify this.
- Murugesan is simply credited as "Marvadi" in
the pressbook, and in the plot of the pressbook he is called "A Marvari". But writing "the Marvadi" won't be so harmful will it?
Kailash29792
(talk)
06:00, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- If he is credited at just "Marvadi" in the pressbook, then it is probably best to keep that way in the article too. Thank you for the explanation.
Aoba47 (
talk)
17:48, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
I hope that my comments are helpful. Great work with the article.
Aoba47 (
talk)
04:16, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- Yes
Aoba47, they are indeed helpful. Since the film is lost, all plot details are taken from the pressbook. The plot is written in both English and Tamil, but the Tamil plot is more comprehensive. Still, you read the English plot only and tell me: is it coherent enough, and does the Wiki plot match the pressbook's English plot? Because I took some details from the Tamil plot at the instigation of GA reviewer Ssven2, who is not currently active.
Kailash29792
(talk)
06:00, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
- The plot summary from the article matches the pressbook and does a very good job in presenting a coherent storyline (at least in my opinion). I just have two last comments.
- In the article, it says "Rangiah receives seven years' imprisonment", but the pressbook says "Inspector Rangia is convicted for 7 years rigorous imprisonment". I think this is referencing something along the lines of
penal labour, and I would include it in the prose if that is the correct interpretation.
- Would it be beneficial to clarify that Ramanathan was sentenced to death by hanging or could that be understood from context?
- Once these points and my response to the Ellen Woods comment are addressed, I will be more than happy to support this.
Aoba47 (
talk)
18:48, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
reply
|