The article was promoted by SandyGeorgia 02:40, 8 March 2010 [1].
Pilot (Parks and Recreation) ( | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)
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I am nominating this for featured article because I believe it meets all the FA criteria. It is well-written, well-sourced and comprehensive. This article has long been listed as a good article, and is part of the Parks and Recreation (season 1) good topic that passed last month]]. It has also undergone a peer review where I specifically asked for prose-related feedback in anticipation of this FA nomination, but was told there were only minor issues that needed addressing. I believe it is now ready, but am of course willing to address any and all issues that arise during the review. Thanks! — Hun ter Ka hn 06:13, 13 February 2010 (UTC) reply
I just watched the first nine episodes of season 2 last night. I love this show. It keeps getting better.
"The episode introduced the protagonist" - Should it be introduces?
"Although it received less ratings" - "lower"?
"impossible due to logistics and bureaucratic red tape" - I think it should be "the logistics", maybe wikilink red tape.
"for the website" - What website? It's kind of abrupt.
"but eventually agrees to consider it just to get Leslie to leave his office" - "just" is a bit informal.
More later. - Peregrine Fisher ( talk) 16:01, 22 February 2010 (UTC) reply
"The original script portrayed Leslie and Mark as slightly less likable characters. Originally" - Two "original"s too close together.
"Schur encouraged Ansari to continue, and suggested the line in which Ansari suggests" - Two "suggest"s too close together.
"such as the scenes of Ann and Andy talking on Ann's couch after Leslie fell into the pit and injured herself." - Should it be scene or scenes. Can't remember the episode well enough.
"Michael Schur directed the pilot episode, marking his directorial debut." - Maybe "Michael Schur made his dirctorial debut with the the pilot episode."
"The original cut of the pilot episode was 48 minutes long, and had to be cut" - Two "cut"s, then a third and fourth in the next two sentences.
"Daniels included this technique to distinguish Parks and Recreation from The Office." - Seems a bit repetitive what with the first sentence in that para.
"were shot at the actual Pasadena city hall building." - "actual" not needed. Also "filmed in an actual playground in Los Angeles."
"yelling "Praaaaaatt!" and welcoming him. Pratt said he was impressed by the polite behavior" - This seems weird. Yelling Praaaaaatt doesn't sound polite. Does the ref elaborate? - Peregrine Fisher ( talk) 17:26, 23 February 2010 (UTC) reply
A lead sentence would be good for the Cultural references section. Something like "There are a number of references..." or whatever.
Actually what would be best is to organize the cultural references by theme. A paragraph on politics, a para on sports, and a para of the rest.
"due to his lack of respect for her." - I thought Tom liked her? Or maybe that's just later on in the show?
"NBC did not have a finished episode to broadcast" - I don't think "broadcast" is the correct word.
"some of the parts were not even cast yet, and the series did not yet have a name " - "even", "yet" not needed
"not ready for prime time" [2] - This sounds a little weird, because that's what they used to call the cast of SNL. I looked for it in the ref to make sure that wasn't what they were talking about, but didn't find it.
"according to Nielsen ratings" - Correct grammar is "according to Nielsen" or "according to Nielsen Media Research"
"although it lacked many laugh out loud moments." - Sounds funny. Go with "although it had few laugh out loud moments."
Maybe link "contrapuntal" to it's wiktionary page? It's a new word to me, anyways. - Peregrine Fisher ( talk) 18:18, 28 February 2010 (UTC) reply
"April explains she got assigned to the parks and recreation because" - parks and rec dept.?
Support - I know you'll take care of the above comments. Above nitpicks aside, I think this is the best prose I've seen you produce. Keep it up. - Peregrine Fisher ( talk) 18:24, 28 February 2010 (UTC) reply
location=
parameter. Some newspaper refs use it (at time of writing: 10; 20; 42; 45), others don't, even among those cited to the same publication. Best practice would be to use it for all, or none (I'd choose the latter in this case).publisher=
field on this one, as it's the same as what you've got in work=
Karanacs ( talk) 16:17, 5 March 2010 (UTC) reply
Support. Well-done. Karanacs ( talk) 18:23, 5 March 2010 (UTC) reply
This is not as good as the next nomination, "American Beauty". But still, it will be worth a support with a bit of cleaning up. I wouldn't oppose promotion, even now. Here are random issues.
The article was promoted by SandyGeorgia 02:40, 8 March 2010 [1].
Pilot (Parks and Recreation) ( | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)
Toolbox |
---|
I am nominating this for featured article because I believe it meets all the FA criteria. It is well-written, well-sourced and comprehensive. This article has long been listed as a good article, and is part of the Parks and Recreation (season 1) good topic that passed last month]]. It has also undergone a peer review where I specifically asked for prose-related feedback in anticipation of this FA nomination, but was told there were only minor issues that needed addressing. I believe it is now ready, but am of course willing to address any and all issues that arise during the review. Thanks! — Hun ter Ka hn 06:13, 13 February 2010 (UTC) reply
I just watched the first nine episodes of season 2 last night. I love this show. It keeps getting better.
"The episode introduced the protagonist" - Should it be introduces?
"Although it received less ratings" - "lower"?
"impossible due to logistics and bureaucratic red tape" - I think it should be "the logistics", maybe wikilink red tape.
"for the website" - What website? It's kind of abrupt.
"but eventually agrees to consider it just to get Leslie to leave his office" - "just" is a bit informal.
More later. - Peregrine Fisher ( talk) 16:01, 22 February 2010 (UTC) reply
"The original script portrayed Leslie and Mark as slightly less likable characters. Originally" - Two "original"s too close together.
"Schur encouraged Ansari to continue, and suggested the line in which Ansari suggests" - Two "suggest"s too close together.
"such as the scenes of Ann and Andy talking on Ann's couch after Leslie fell into the pit and injured herself." - Should it be scene or scenes. Can't remember the episode well enough.
"Michael Schur directed the pilot episode, marking his directorial debut." - Maybe "Michael Schur made his dirctorial debut with the the pilot episode."
"The original cut of the pilot episode was 48 minutes long, and had to be cut" - Two "cut"s, then a third and fourth in the next two sentences.
"Daniels included this technique to distinguish Parks and Recreation from The Office." - Seems a bit repetitive what with the first sentence in that para.
"were shot at the actual Pasadena city hall building." - "actual" not needed. Also "filmed in an actual playground in Los Angeles."
"yelling "Praaaaaatt!" and welcoming him. Pratt said he was impressed by the polite behavior" - This seems weird. Yelling Praaaaaatt doesn't sound polite. Does the ref elaborate? - Peregrine Fisher ( talk) 17:26, 23 February 2010 (UTC) reply
A lead sentence would be good for the Cultural references section. Something like "There are a number of references..." or whatever.
Actually what would be best is to organize the cultural references by theme. A paragraph on politics, a para on sports, and a para of the rest.
"due to his lack of respect for her." - I thought Tom liked her? Or maybe that's just later on in the show?
"NBC did not have a finished episode to broadcast" - I don't think "broadcast" is the correct word.
"some of the parts were not even cast yet, and the series did not yet have a name " - "even", "yet" not needed
"not ready for prime time" [2] - This sounds a little weird, because that's what they used to call the cast of SNL. I looked for it in the ref to make sure that wasn't what they were talking about, but didn't find it.
"according to Nielsen ratings" - Correct grammar is "according to Nielsen" or "according to Nielsen Media Research"
"although it lacked many laugh out loud moments." - Sounds funny. Go with "although it had few laugh out loud moments."
Maybe link "contrapuntal" to it's wiktionary page? It's a new word to me, anyways. - Peregrine Fisher ( talk) 18:18, 28 February 2010 (UTC) reply
"April explains she got assigned to the parks and recreation because" - parks and rec dept.?
Support - I know you'll take care of the above comments. Above nitpicks aside, I think this is the best prose I've seen you produce. Keep it up. - Peregrine Fisher ( talk) 18:24, 28 February 2010 (UTC) reply
location=
parameter. Some newspaper refs use it (at time of writing: 10; 20; 42; 45), others don't, even among those cited to the same publication. Best practice would be to use it for all, or none (I'd choose the latter in this case).publisher=
field on this one, as it's the same as what you've got in work=
Karanacs ( talk) 16:17, 5 March 2010 (UTC) reply
Support. Well-done. Karanacs ( talk) 18:23, 5 March 2010 (UTC) reply
This is not as good as the next nomination, "American Beauty". But still, it will be worth a support with a bit of cleaning up. I wouldn't oppose promotion, even now. Here are random issues.