Narragansett Pier Railroad ( | talk | history | links | watch | logs)
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This article is about an 8-mile-long railroad in Rhode Island with a surprisingly long and storied history. It ran from 1876 to 1981 and exists today as the William C. O'Neill Bike Path. The article recently passed GA, and with the help of a book on the railroad I've been able to expand it to the point I believe it is ready for FAC. It's been over a year since my last nomination, so forgive me if I am a little rusty. Trainsandotherthings ( talk) 16:31, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
Image review
Just some comments for now.
member of the prominent Hazard family, suggest "... Hazard family of Rhode Island".
inherited a millI'm guessing that means textile mill, but only because I know a bit about New England history. You should specify what type of mill. Oh, yeah, you say so in the next sentence, but still better to add one word up front to keep the reader from wondering.
The Hazards at first focused onAre you talking here about the father or the sons?
but focused exclusively onrephrase to avoid repetitive use of "focused"
destroyed the factory and necessitated rebuildingIf the factory was destroyed, then it's obvious that it was necessary to rebuild if they were going to continue the business. On the other hand, it wasn't really necessary; they could have just sold the land for another use and not rebuilt at all. So some clarification would help here.
Rowland G. Hazard's strong abolitionist sympathies harmed the sale of cotton products in the slaveholding southern statesthis is an abrupt change of topic. What does this have to do with what comes before (the fire and rebuilding) or after (the re-powering to use steam)? Seems like it belongs in another section somewhere.
neither efficient or cheap for the milldrop "for the mill". For whom else would the efficiency or cost be an issue? Also, I suppose this is a style preference, but saying "inefficient and expensive" seems more straight forward. Taking that one step further, being inefficient implies extra cost, so maybe all that could be reduced to just "was expensive".
(commonly known as the Stonington Line, for its western terminus in Stonington, Connecticut)This is a long and complicated sentence. I'd leave this parenthetical out completely, as knowing it doesn't add anything to the reader's understanding of this article's subject.
hampered the mill's abilityIn the lead, you talk about two mills (Peace Dale and Wakefield), but here you say there's just one. That needs to be sorted out.
Elisha R. Potter provided an additional $15,000 in funding, use {{ inflation}} (here and elsewhere)
when the stockholders held a meeting on January 26, 1876, I'd say "subsequent meeting". Yes, you can work out from the dates that this isn't the same meeting referred to earlier, but this'll make it more obvious. Stopping to figure out the chronology interrupts the reader's flow, so save them the effort.
The Stonington Line also agreed to subscribe $15,000 towards the line's construction between 1875 and 1876. More fuzzy chronology. After you talk about a meeting in 1876, you back up to talk about an agreement in 1875. It's also not immediately clear what "the line" refers to. The Stonington Line or the proposed Narragansett Pier line?
$10 million ($339 million in 2023). I think I've settled on using the default "equivalant to" version the first time in an article, then the shorter version after that. RoySmith (talk) 13:34, 11 July 2024 (UTC)
A locomotive was purchased from the Mason Machine Works...this is an overly complex sentence. The inclusion of a multiple-sentence quote makes it particularly difficult to parse. Also, when was the purchase? And what's a "flag stave"?
(this takes me to the end of "Construction" in Special:Permalink/1230479828. I'll come back later.
(picking up from the start of "Operation by the Hazard Family" in Special:Permalink/1230938022)
demand quickly grew to the point this number... where this number
single tickets were available for travel on both railroadsI assume this was some kind of revenue-share arrangement? If there's any information available, it might be interesting to explain a bit how that worked. Did the customer get a discount vs purchasing the two fares separately?
the railroad's sole passenger carI'm guessing this was Mixed train operation? If so, link to that.
Travelers from Providence could reach Narragansett Pier in approximately 80 minutes' timeas a sad commentary on the current state of rail in the US, that is significantly faster than Google Maps claims you can do today.
Travelers from as far away as New York City ... to the Narragansett Pier Railroad for the final stretchoverly long and complex sentence.
For the first time since openingno need to say "since opening", that's pretty much a given.
approximately five hours' timedrop "time".
passenger service was gradually cut from eleven daily trips to sixThe last we knew, there were nine trips per day.
purchased the bonds of the Sea View Railroadlink to Bond (finance)
(done with everything through the end of "Second period of Hazard Family operations") (picking up with "American Associates ownership" in Special:Permalink/1231293569)
at a cost of $25,000, saying "for" would be simpler (thinking lovingly of my copy of Strunk and White).
Passenger service was subsequently officially terminated at the end of that yearWhy "officially"? That makes me think that service continued in some unofficial capacity. Also, drop "subsequently" that's implicit in "at the end of that year".
With passenger service gone, only minimal freight traffic was carried to and from Narragansett PierI'm not understanding this sentence. It seems to imply that the ending of passenger service was the cause of the decreased freight traffic.
OK, that's it from me for a first pass.
Putting myself down for a source check. If I let it go longer than a week, ping me. ♠ PMC♠ (talk) 22:56, 25 June 2024 (UTC)
With apologies!
Not required but doing anyway to be extra. Performed basically at random from what seemed interesting or was accessible.
I'm satisfied by the source formatting. Spot checks turned up no issues with either accuracy or copyvio. Sources used are appropriately high-quality; old newspaper sources are used judiciously to support non-contentious statements or reportage as it was stated at the time. ♠ PMC♠ (talk) 07:42, 8 July 2024 (UTC)
I'll read through the article and write out some comments. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 14:40, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
Sources (not a source check)
Overall structure
I'll add more comments in a bit. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 15:10, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
Everything else
necessitated rebuilding; Rowland G. Hazard's strong– I don't see a need for this to be one sentence.
Rowland G. Hazard's strong abolitionist sympathies harmed the sale of cotton products in the slaveholding southern states.Is that because anti-abolitionists boycotted Hazard's products?
not long after the rebuild steam power started to be used instead– This phrase needs a comma after "rebuild", but I recommend this rewording instead: "it converted to steam power shortly after the rebuild".
The boilers required coalis a bit unwieldy. I think it would be easier to read if broken up. Also, the "or" should be "nor". If kept as one sentence, you could change
wagons, which was neither efficient or cheap for the mill.to "wagons; this was neither efficient nor cheap for the mill."
Narragansett Pier itself was growingis also unwieldy.
Narragansett Pier itself was growing– "itself" is unnecessary.
the nearest rail line being on the New York, Providence and Boston Railroad– "on" should be removed.
The solution for all of these issues was– according to whom?
approval for a new charter in 1868– was there an old charter?
neither party had ever built a railroad beforeimplies a 5-year delay?
could count onsounds a little too far off WP:NPOV for my taste.
late 1874should be hyphenated.
Still reading through the article. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 16:01, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
the new railroad would provide more businessfor the Stonington Line? Or for the surrounding community?
reply to Hazard statingshould be "reply to Hazard, stating:".
(despite Hazard hoping to open the line on July 1)– I don't think this needs to be in parentheses.
Operation by the Hazard Family– "Family" should be lower case.
Initially, four round trips were run daily for passengers, but demand quickly grew to the point this number was increased to sixcould be shorter and more straightforward: "The line initially ran four round trips per day, but demand quickly grew this number to six"
Passenger trains connectedmentions the Kingston connection twice, which seems unnecessary.
ice was imported in trains for cooling during the summers– being a Maine historian familiar with the 19th-century New England ice industry, I take this to mean that ice shipped on this line was used for refrigeration and maybe air conditioning. If that's the case, I recommend making that more obvious.
was startedcould just be "started".
necessary - passengers– that should be an en dash, not a hyphen.
Narragansett Pier's potential as a coastal resort had been known to businessmen since the construction of its first hotel in 1856, but significant growth was held back by poor transportation linksearlier today. Trainsandotherthings ( talk) 02:23, 27 June 2024 (UTC)
second locomotive used– I had to read this twice. The second locomotive was second-hand?
20,000 short tons (18,000 long tons; 18,000 t) of freight– What does this mean?
its first dividend to its shareholders– the second "its" is unnecessary.
The Narragansett Pier Railroad was compelled by complaints to reduce its passenger fares in 1901, though passengers continued to complain that the railroad required long layover times for travelers connecting with trains to and from Providence.The two halves of this sentence don't seem as connected as the "though" connector makes it seem. Or am I missing something?
the trip to Narragansett Pier was only a matter of minutes– from where?
The monopoly allegation was also made in 1898 by proponents of a new steamboat wharf in Narragansett Pier that would connect to Providence, who pointed to the railroad's high rates (at the time 50 cents between Kingston and Narragansett pier) and surcharges on coal shipments.I recommend rewording and probably splitting into more than one sentence. Reading this the first time, it looked like Providence pointed, though I understand it was the proponents who pointed.
The railroad signed an agreementis unwieldy. I recommend breaking it up.
directly adjacent– is "directly" necessary?
take a bus to reach it– Seems too early in the 20th century for a motor bus, but maybe more time has passed since 1902 than I think. Can you clarify?
in 1879 which began– I believe a comma is necessary before "which".
Still reading. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 20:35, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
They found a buyer"They" are the Hazards, not the Pier, right?
They found a buyer in the New Haven, which under the control of J. P. Morgan was fearful of the Southern New England Railway and its plans to build a competing rail line in the area; were the Southern New England to buy the Narragansett Pier, it would have an outlet to Narragansett Bay.This sentence is unwieldy. Who is under Morgan's control? The buyer? How could Southern New England Railway buy the town of Narragansett Pier?
shareholders that distrustedshould be "shareholders who distrusted".
not a good fit– according to whom?
Though it was never an intentional act, the Narragansett Pier Railroad's new owners neglectedto "The Narragansett Pier Railroad's new owners unintentionally neglected". It's less wordy and, in my opinion, more aligned with NPOV.
which could not claim much importance in the war effortseems tacked onto its sentence without being that relevant to it.
As part of the resolution of the Rhode Island Company's assets, the Narragansett Pier lease was cancelled in 1920; the USRA returned operations to the Hazard family on March 1, 1920.So the lease was canceled, then the Hazards took back control?
already proven to be a maintenance headache just to get operationalis a poor phrase choice for NPOV.
citing competition by cars and trucks– given the predominant use of car for rolling stock, I recommend replacing with "automobile".
prompted an increase of over 10,000 passengers in one year, prompting– I recommend getting rid of either "prompted" or "prompting".
nickname - "Micky-Dinks" - after– Those should be two en dashes, not hyphens.
was not ignorant of the role of automobilesis poor phrasing for NPOV.
(in large part, this covered the route of the abandoned Sea View Railroad).I think this would read better as its own sentence outside parentheses.
spelled the endis not a great phrase for maintaining NPOV.
which sat on valuable land in demand for commercial useshould be set apart from the rest of the sentence with en dashes rather than commas.
back from the brinkis a poor choice of phrase for NPOV.
business - namely the closure of local mills and increased use of automobiles - resumedshould be en dashes, not hyphens.
year - theshould be an en dash, not hyphen.
"its wooden-spoked wheels fouled every switch in the nearby tower"?
At the behest of the State of Rhode Island, which was building a highway crossing the railroad right-of-way near Narragansett Pier, the now seldom-used segment beyond Wakefield was abandoned, shortening the line to approximately five miles (8.0 km) in length. Unfortunately for the state, by the time the Interstate Commerce Commission gave the railroad permission to abandon the segment, work on the bridge had progressed to the point it was cheaper to complete it than to abandon its construction.I don't understand what's happening here.
"liquified fish guts"come from?
1928-builtand
1876-built: I think you can remove "-built".
New Jersey Railroad it wasneeds a comma before "it".
has been convertedto "was converted" and
since 2010 terminates under a mile from Narragansett Pierto "in 2010 was extended to a mile outside Narragansett Pier". For the last two sentences, adding "as of 2007/2017" is appropriate because those publications cannot say what is standing today.
Almost done, I think. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 22:01, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
Lead and infobox
Kingston Station as wellcould use a comma before "as"
a blow the resort town never fully recovered fromisn't great NPOV wording.
in 1936 the railroadcould use a comma after "1936".
non-rail operations; steam locomotives: I don't think the second part of that sentence relates enough to the first part to justify joining them with a semicolon.
Most of the right-of-way has been convertedcould be "In the 21st century, most of the right-of-way was converted". And using
now operatesis asking for it to become out of date.
Overall
Despite my long long list of comments, I think the prose is good enough to be FAC-worthy if all of those comments are addressed. Honestly, if I had it to do over again, I would say that this article should go back to peer review before writing out all those comments. Having done so, however, I think there's an opportunity to bring the article to FAC quality here. Earwig finds no likely plagiarism. It is certainly well-researched, assuming PMC's source check finds that the sources are all good and represent a comprehensive survey of the relevant sources. The article is certainly comprehensive in telling all the twists and turns in the railroad's history and I think the lead does a great job compressing all that detail into something that can be consumed quickly and easily. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 22:22, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
@ Trainsandotherthings: I see you have responded to some but not all of my comments. Once you feel they are all addressed, ping me like this and I will be happy to take another look at the article. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 12:43, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
Narragansett Pier Railroad ( | talk | history | links | watch | logs)
Toolbox |
---|
This article is about an 8-mile-long railroad in Rhode Island with a surprisingly long and storied history. It ran from 1876 to 1981 and exists today as the William C. O'Neill Bike Path. The article recently passed GA, and with the help of a book on the railroad I've been able to expand it to the point I believe it is ready for FAC. It's been over a year since my last nomination, so forgive me if I am a little rusty. Trainsandotherthings ( talk) 16:31, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
Image review
Just some comments for now.
member of the prominent Hazard family, suggest "... Hazard family of Rhode Island".
inherited a millI'm guessing that means textile mill, but only because I know a bit about New England history. You should specify what type of mill. Oh, yeah, you say so in the next sentence, but still better to add one word up front to keep the reader from wondering.
The Hazards at first focused onAre you talking here about the father or the sons?
but focused exclusively onrephrase to avoid repetitive use of "focused"
destroyed the factory and necessitated rebuildingIf the factory was destroyed, then it's obvious that it was necessary to rebuild if they were going to continue the business. On the other hand, it wasn't really necessary; they could have just sold the land for another use and not rebuilt at all. So some clarification would help here.
Rowland G. Hazard's strong abolitionist sympathies harmed the sale of cotton products in the slaveholding southern statesthis is an abrupt change of topic. What does this have to do with what comes before (the fire and rebuilding) or after (the re-powering to use steam)? Seems like it belongs in another section somewhere.
neither efficient or cheap for the milldrop "for the mill". For whom else would the efficiency or cost be an issue? Also, I suppose this is a style preference, but saying "inefficient and expensive" seems more straight forward. Taking that one step further, being inefficient implies extra cost, so maybe all that could be reduced to just "was expensive".
(commonly known as the Stonington Line, for its western terminus in Stonington, Connecticut)This is a long and complicated sentence. I'd leave this parenthetical out completely, as knowing it doesn't add anything to the reader's understanding of this article's subject.
hampered the mill's abilityIn the lead, you talk about two mills (Peace Dale and Wakefield), but here you say there's just one. That needs to be sorted out.
Elisha R. Potter provided an additional $15,000 in funding, use {{ inflation}} (here and elsewhere)
when the stockholders held a meeting on January 26, 1876, I'd say "subsequent meeting". Yes, you can work out from the dates that this isn't the same meeting referred to earlier, but this'll make it more obvious. Stopping to figure out the chronology interrupts the reader's flow, so save them the effort.
The Stonington Line also agreed to subscribe $15,000 towards the line's construction between 1875 and 1876. More fuzzy chronology. After you talk about a meeting in 1876, you back up to talk about an agreement in 1875. It's also not immediately clear what "the line" refers to. The Stonington Line or the proposed Narragansett Pier line?
$10 million ($339 million in 2023). I think I've settled on using the default "equivalant to" version the first time in an article, then the shorter version after that. RoySmith (talk) 13:34, 11 July 2024 (UTC)
A locomotive was purchased from the Mason Machine Works...this is an overly complex sentence. The inclusion of a multiple-sentence quote makes it particularly difficult to parse. Also, when was the purchase? And what's a "flag stave"?
(this takes me to the end of "Construction" in Special:Permalink/1230479828. I'll come back later.
(picking up from the start of "Operation by the Hazard Family" in Special:Permalink/1230938022)
demand quickly grew to the point this number... where this number
single tickets were available for travel on both railroadsI assume this was some kind of revenue-share arrangement? If there's any information available, it might be interesting to explain a bit how that worked. Did the customer get a discount vs purchasing the two fares separately?
the railroad's sole passenger carI'm guessing this was Mixed train operation? If so, link to that.
Travelers from Providence could reach Narragansett Pier in approximately 80 minutes' timeas a sad commentary on the current state of rail in the US, that is significantly faster than Google Maps claims you can do today.
Travelers from as far away as New York City ... to the Narragansett Pier Railroad for the final stretchoverly long and complex sentence.
For the first time since openingno need to say "since opening", that's pretty much a given.
approximately five hours' timedrop "time".
passenger service was gradually cut from eleven daily trips to sixThe last we knew, there were nine trips per day.
purchased the bonds of the Sea View Railroadlink to Bond (finance)
(done with everything through the end of "Second period of Hazard Family operations") (picking up with "American Associates ownership" in Special:Permalink/1231293569)
at a cost of $25,000, saying "for" would be simpler (thinking lovingly of my copy of Strunk and White).
Passenger service was subsequently officially terminated at the end of that yearWhy "officially"? That makes me think that service continued in some unofficial capacity. Also, drop "subsequently" that's implicit in "at the end of that year".
With passenger service gone, only minimal freight traffic was carried to and from Narragansett PierI'm not understanding this sentence. It seems to imply that the ending of passenger service was the cause of the decreased freight traffic.
OK, that's it from me for a first pass.
Putting myself down for a source check. If I let it go longer than a week, ping me. ♠ PMC♠ (talk) 22:56, 25 June 2024 (UTC)
With apologies!
Not required but doing anyway to be extra. Performed basically at random from what seemed interesting or was accessible.
I'm satisfied by the source formatting. Spot checks turned up no issues with either accuracy or copyvio. Sources used are appropriately high-quality; old newspaper sources are used judiciously to support non-contentious statements or reportage as it was stated at the time. ♠ PMC♠ (talk) 07:42, 8 July 2024 (UTC)
I'll read through the article and write out some comments. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 14:40, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
Sources (not a source check)
Overall structure
I'll add more comments in a bit. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 15:10, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
Everything else
necessitated rebuilding; Rowland G. Hazard's strong– I don't see a need for this to be one sentence.
Rowland G. Hazard's strong abolitionist sympathies harmed the sale of cotton products in the slaveholding southern states.Is that because anti-abolitionists boycotted Hazard's products?
not long after the rebuild steam power started to be used instead– This phrase needs a comma after "rebuild", but I recommend this rewording instead: "it converted to steam power shortly after the rebuild".
The boilers required coalis a bit unwieldy. I think it would be easier to read if broken up. Also, the "or" should be "nor". If kept as one sentence, you could change
wagons, which was neither efficient or cheap for the mill.to "wagons; this was neither efficient nor cheap for the mill."
Narragansett Pier itself was growingis also unwieldy.
Narragansett Pier itself was growing– "itself" is unnecessary.
the nearest rail line being on the New York, Providence and Boston Railroad– "on" should be removed.
The solution for all of these issues was– according to whom?
approval for a new charter in 1868– was there an old charter?
neither party had ever built a railroad beforeimplies a 5-year delay?
could count onsounds a little too far off WP:NPOV for my taste.
late 1874should be hyphenated.
Still reading through the article. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 16:01, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
the new railroad would provide more businessfor the Stonington Line? Or for the surrounding community?
reply to Hazard statingshould be "reply to Hazard, stating:".
(despite Hazard hoping to open the line on July 1)– I don't think this needs to be in parentheses.
Operation by the Hazard Family– "Family" should be lower case.
Initially, four round trips were run daily for passengers, but demand quickly grew to the point this number was increased to sixcould be shorter and more straightforward: "The line initially ran four round trips per day, but demand quickly grew this number to six"
Passenger trains connectedmentions the Kingston connection twice, which seems unnecessary.
ice was imported in trains for cooling during the summers– being a Maine historian familiar with the 19th-century New England ice industry, I take this to mean that ice shipped on this line was used for refrigeration and maybe air conditioning. If that's the case, I recommend making that more obvious.
was startedcould just be "started".
necessary - passengers– that should be an en dash, not a hyphen.
Narragansett Pier's potential as a coastal resort had been known to businessmen since the construction of its first hotel in 1856, but significant growth was held back by poor transportation linksearlier today. Trainsandotherthings ( talk) 02:23, 27 June 2024 (UTC)
second locomotive used– I had to read this twice. The second locomotive was second-hand?
20,000 short tons (18,000 long tons; 18,000 t) of freight– What does this mean?
its first dividend to its shareholders– the second "its" is unnecessary.
The Narragansett Pier Railroad was compelled by complaints to reduce its passenger fares in 1901, though passengers continued to complain that the railroad required long layover times for travelers connecting with trains to and from Providence.The two halves of this sentence don't seem as connected as the "though" connector makes it seem. Or am I missing something?
the trip to Narragansett Pier was only a matter of minutes– from where?
The monopoly allegation was also made in 1898 by proponents of a new steamboat wharf in Narragansett Pier that would connect to Providence, who pointed to the railroad's high rates (at the time 50 cents between Kingston and Narragansett pier) and surcharges on coal shipments.I recommend rewording and probably splitting into more than one sentence. Reading this the first time, it looked like Providence pointed, though I understand it was the proponents who pointed.
The railroad signed an agreementis unwieldy. I recommend breaking it up.
directly adjacent– is "directly" necessary?
take a bus to reach it– Seems too early in the 20th century for a motor bus, but maybe more time has passed since 1902 than I think. Can you clarify?
in 1879 which began– I believe a comma is necessary before "which".
Still reading. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 20:35, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
They found a buyer"They" are the Hazards, not the Pier, right?
They found a buyer in the New Haven, which under the control of J. P. Morgan was fearful of the Southern New England Railway and its plans to build a competing rail line in the area; were the Southern New England to buy the Narragansett Pier, it would have an outlet to Narragansett Bay.This sentence is unwieldy. Who is under Morgan's control? The buyer? How could Southern New England Railway buy the town of Narragansett Pier?
shareholders that distrustedshould be "shareholders who distrusted".
not a good fit– according to whom?
Though it was never an intentional act, the Narragansett Pier Railroad's new owners neglectedto "The Narragansett Pier Railroad's new owners unintentionally neglected". It's less wordy and, in my opinion, more aligned with NPOV.
which could not claim much importance in the war effortseems tacked onto its sentence without being that relevant to it.
As part of the resolution of the Rhode Island Company's assets, the Narragansett Pier lease was cancelled in 1920; the USRA returned operations to the Hazard family on March 1, 1920.So the lease was canceled, then the Hazards took back control?
already proven to be a maintenance headache just to get operationalis a poor phrase choice for NPOV.
citing competition by cars and trucks– given the predominant use of car for rolling stock, I recommend replacing with "automobile".
prompted an increase of over 10,000 passengers in one year, prompting– I recommend getting rid of either "prompted" or "prompting".
nickname - "Micky-Dinks" - after– Those should be two en dashes, not hyphens.
was not ignorant of the role of automobilesis poor phrasing for NPOV.
(in large part, this covered the route of the abandoned Sea View Railroad).I think this would read better as its own sentence outside parentheses.
spelled the endis not a great phrase for maintaining NPOV.
which sat on valuable land in demand for commercial useshould be set apart from the rest of the sentence with en dashes rather than commas.
back from the brinkis a poor choice of phrase for NPOV.
business - namely the closure of local mills and increased use of automobiles - resumedshould be en dashes, not hyphens.
year - theshould be an en dash, not hyphen.
"its wooden-spoked wheels fouled every switch in the nearby tower"?
At the behest of the State of Rhode Island, which was building a highway crossing the railroad right-of-way near Narragansett Pier, the now seldom-used segment beyond Wakefield was abandoned, shortening the line to approximately five miles (8.0 km) in length. Unfortunately for the state, by the time the Interstate Commerce Commission gave the railroad permission to abandon the segment, work on the bridge had progressed to the point it was cheaper to complete it than to abandon its construction.I don't understand what's happening here.
"liquified fish guts"come from?
1928-builtand
1876-built: I think you can remove "-built".
New Jersey Railroad it wasneeds a comma before "it".
has been convertedto "was converted" and
since 2010 terminates under a mile from Narragansett Pierto "in 2010 was extended to a mile outside Narragansett Pier". For the last two sentences, adding "as of 2007/2017" is appropriate because those publications cannot say what is standing today.
Almost done, I think. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 22:01, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
Lead and infobox
Kingston Station as wellcould use a comma before "as"
a blow the resort town never fully recovered fromisn't great NPOV wording.
in 1936 the railroadcould use a comma after "1936".
non-rail operations; steam locomotives: I don't think the second part of that sentence relates enough to the first part to justify joining them with a semicolon.
Most of the right-of-way has been convertedcould be "In the 21st century, most of the right-of-way was converted". And using
now operatesis asking for it to become out of date.
Overall
Despite my long long list of comments, I think the prose is good enough to be FAC-worthy if all of those comments are addressed. Honestly, if I had it to do over again, I would say that this article should go back to peer review before writing out all those comments. Having done so, however, I think there's an opportunity to bring the article to FAC quality here. Earwig finds no likely plagiarism. It is certainly well-researched, assuming PMC's source check finds that the sources are all good and represent a comprehensive survey of the relevant sources. The article is certainly comprehensive in telling all the twists and turns in the railroad's history and I think the lead does a great job compressing all that detail into something that can be consumed quickly and easily. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 22:22, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
@ Trainsandotherthings: I see you have responded to some but not all of my comments. Once you feel they are all addressed, ping me like this and I will be happy to take another look at the article. Dugan Murphy ( talk) 12:43, 5 July 2024 (UTC)