The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 19:39, 4 April 2009 [1].
Article has passed a GA and a MILHIST A-class review... YellowMonkey ( click here to vote for world cycling's #1 model!) 00:49, 18 March 2009 (UTC) reply
Comments by Sasata
Very interesting article on something I knew nothing about. Would like to support, after the comments below are addressed. Sasata ( talk) 09:20, 25 March 2009 (UTC) reply
*vaporise spelled differently in lead and infobox
*I think the lead needs to be lengthened a little bit, perhaps one more sentence about how the whole affair culminated in the assassination of the President? That would certainly encourage the average reader to continue reading the article!
*Wikilink or define pagoda
*"Furthermore, the land owned by the Catholic Church was exempt from land reform." Please clarify what is meant by land reform.
*"On June 3, protests continued." I think they had been continuing for some time, perhaps on this day they escalated?
*Several times throughout the article, it makes reference to the government deflecting responsibility by blaming the Vietcong, so I think it would be helpful if a sentence or two could be inserted somewhere to inform people who the Vietcong are and how they fit into the big picture.
*"...the troops fixed bayonets and put on gas masks before charging the protestors and pelting them with tear gas grenades." Unsure of the usage "fixed" in this context.
*"Deaths and injuries were averted when a Buddhist leader urged the protestors to..." Do we know the identity of this leader?
*Wikilink state department
*"...passed on the US threat to denounce regime for the chemical attacks." missing "the"
*"Before the Ngo family were deposed in November..." Isn't it the Diem family? Or is this a case where the first name=family name? At any rate, it's confusing.
*"...the findings declared..." awkward
*"Some varieties of French tear gas also contained phosgene oxime[29] or hydrogen cyanide.[30] This can lead to fatal consequences.." What can lead to fatal consequences?
*"Despite continuing protests, including self-immolations..." please clarify this latter part
The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 19:39, 4 April 2009 [1].
Article has passed a GA and a MILHIST A-class review... YellowMonkey ( click here to vote for world cycling's #1 model!) 00:49, 18 March 2009 (UTC) reply
Comments by Sasata
Very interesting article on something I knew nothing about. Would like to support, after the comments below are addressed. Sasata ( talk) 09:20, 25 March 2009 (UTC) reply
*vaporise spelled differently in lead and infobox
*I think the lead needs to be lengthened a little bit, perhaps one more sentence about how the whole affair culminated in the assassination of the President? That would certainly encourage the average reader to continue reading the article!
*Wikilink or define pagoda
*"Furthermore, the land owned by the Catholic Church was exempt from land reform." Please clarify what is meant by land reform.
*"On June 3, protests continued." I think they had been continuing for some time, perhaps on this day they escalated?
*Several times throughout the article, it makes reference to the government deflecting responsibility by blaming the Vietcong, so I think it would be helpful if a sentence or two could be inserted somewhere to inform people who the Vietcong are and how they fit into the big picture.
*"...the troops fixed bayonets and put on gas masks before charging the protestors and pelting them with tear gas grenades." Unsure of the usage "fixed" in this context.
*"Deaths and injuries were averted when a Buddhist leader urged the protestors to..." Do we know the identity of this leader?
*Wikilink state department
*"...passed on the US threat to denounce regime for the chemical attacks." missing "the"
*"Before the Ngo family were deposed in November..." Isn't it the Diem family? Or is this a case where the first name=family name? At any rate, it's confusing.
*"...the findings declared..." awkward
*"Some varieties of French tear gas also contained phosgene oxime[29] or hydrogen cyanide.[30] This can lead to fatal consequences.." What can lead to fatal consequences?
*"Despite continuing protests, including self-immolations..." please clarify this latter part