This is the article that got me started writing on German warships, all the way back
in 2007 - the article has come a fair way since then, with multiple rewrites as I've acquired more sources - the most critical have been Nottelmann's Die Brandenburg-Klasse for the technical details and design history and Hildebrand et. al.'s Die Deutschen Kriegsschiffe for the ships' service histories. Thanks to all who take the time to review the article.
Parsecboy (
talk) 11:56, 21 October 2019 (UTC)reply
Dank
Support on prose per my
standard disclaimer. Well done. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting.
These are my edits. - Dank (
push to talk) 20:55, 25 October 2019 (UTC)reply
CommentsSupport by PM
This article is in great shape. I looked at during its recent Milhist ACR. I have a few comments from re-reading it:
in parts long tons are used first, elsewhere tons, perhaps be consistent within the article?
Fixed
"by existing infrastructure" is this referring to dry docks, or the canal as well?
The canal didn't exist at that time - work had only begun the previous year - but increases in size required not just larger dry docks, but also construction facilities, deeper channels dredged (and sometimes harbor bottoms)
"As Dietrich continued to work on the plans" doesn't make sense to me, in that reducing the number of guns to three from four or six would reduce the weight of fire regardless, wouldn't it? Maybe I'm missing something implied?
See if what I added works
you could put the draft range in the infobox
Done
you could put the speed range in the infobox
I prefer to use rated speed in the box, not trials, since speed tests were frequently under unrealistic conditions
theortically
Good catch
rounding with the British and German 45 cm TTs, one is 17.7 in and one is 18 in
fixed
it isn't clear where the 5 June 1894 completion date for Weissenburg comes from. The article says 28 August 1894 or 10 October and its infobox says commissioned 14 October?
That date is from Conway's, but I'll opt to go with Hildebrand instead
a similar issue for Kurfürst Friedrich Wilhelm's completion date
Ditto
not sure about the capitalisation of Westerners
De-capped
link marines
Done
Marshal→Generalfeldmarschall and link
Done
for neutral link Neutral country
Good idea
"In April, the British and French fleets had launched"
I'll do this one tomorrow. Cheers.
CPA-5 (
talk) 19:33, 19 November 2019 (UTC)reply
other officers, including Hans von Koester, August von Thomsen, Hans Sack, Wilhelm Büchsel, Carl Barandon, Conrad von Bodenhausen, Gustav Schmidt, and Curt von Maltzahn No ranks?
I didn't think it was worth bogging down the prose any more by including the ranks and translations to the long list of names.
replaced by C/01 semi-armor-piercing (SAP) shell Is semi-armor-piercing here an adjective?
Yes
on 16 February 1894 that killed forty-four men: twenty-five crew members, eighteen shipyard workers --> "on 16 February 1894 that killed 44 men: 25 crew members, 18 shipyard workers, and 1 from the commission"?
I generally prefer to spell out numbers
Chinese nationalists laid siege to the foreign embassies Pipe Chinese to the Qing dynasty.
I think it makes more sense to pipe it to "westerners in
China"
Link marks.
Done
Pipe Bulgarian to the Kingdom of Bulgaria.
Done
Pipe Greek to the Kingdom of Greece.
Done
Dardanelles fortresses during the Dardanelles campaign --> "Dardanelles fortresses during the Dardanelles Campaign"
There was a bit of a stink earlier this year about whether campaign ought to be capitalized (actually, I started it by pointing out that some were capitalized and some weren't, but I didn't particularly care one way or the other), and after much yelling and gnashing of teeth discussion, it was decided that they should not be capitalized.
British and French fleets launched the Gallipoli campaign Same as above.
As above
meaning that it was a naval gun of built-up construction American build-up or is this official in American English?
It'd be built-up in either version
That's it I think - sorry for the delay I was really busy with family stuff. Cheers.
CPA-5 (
talk) 16:18, 24 November 2019 (UTC)reply
No problem, family stuff is more important!
Parsecboy (
talk) 14:29, 27 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Great to hear; looks good to me. Cheers.
CPA-5 (
talk) 13:38, 1 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Image review
Update the licensing for the Heimdall lithograph to reflect when Graf died and the same for the lithograph for Wörth
Done
And the same for F. K. Barnes
Done
Not thrilled with the placement of the Kurfürst Friedrich Wilhelm image as there's a ton of whitespace to its left on my monitors. Perhaps after the table?--
Sturmvogel 66 (
talk) 19:42, 22 November 2019 (UTC)reply
The image isn't causing the whitespace - the table isn't wide enough to cover the whole width on wider monitors - so moving the image will actually make the problem worse, not better.
Parsecboy (
talk) 19:53, 22 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Closing note: This
candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see
WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the
bot goes through. --
Laser brain(talk) 14:16, 12 December 2019 (UTC)reply
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
This is the article that got me started writing on German warships, all the way back
in 2007 - the article has come a fair way since then, with multiple rewrites as I've acquired more sources - the most critical have been Nottelmann's Die Brandenburg-Klasse for the technical details and design history and Hildebrand et. al.'s Die Deutschen Kriegsschiffe for the ships' service histories. Thanks to all who take the time to review the article.
Parsecboy (
talk) 11:56, 21 October 2019 (UTC)reply
Dank
Support on prose per my
standard disclaimer. Well done. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting.
These are my edits. - Dank (
push to talk) 20:55, 25 October 2019 (UTC)reply
CommentsSupport by PM
This article is in great shape. I looked at during its recent Milhist ACR. I have a few comments from re-reading it:
in parts long tons are used first, elsewhere tons, perhaps be consistent within the article?
Fixed
"by existing infrastructure" is this referring to dry docks, or the canal as well?
The canal didn't exist at that time - work had only begun the previous year - but increases in size required not just larger dry docks, but also construction facilities, deeper channels dredged (and sometimes harbor bottoms)
"As Dietrich continued to work on the plans" doesn't make sense to me, in that reducing the number of guns to three from four or six would reduce the weight of fire regardless, wouldn't it? Maybe I'm missing something implied?
See if what I added works
you could put the draft range in the infobox
Done
you could put the speed range in the infobox
I prefer to use rated speed in the box, not trials, since speed tests were frequently under unrealistic conditions
theortically
Good catch
rounding with the British and German 45 cm TTs, one is 17.7 in and one is 18 in
fixed
it isn't clear where the 5 June 1894 completion date for Weissenburg comes from. The article says 28 August 1894 or 10 October and its infobox says commissioned 14 October?
That date is from Conway's, but I'll opt to go with Hildebrand instead
a similar issue for Kurfürst Friedrich Wilhelm's completion date
Ditto
not sure about the capitalisation of Westerners
De-capped
link marines
Done
Marshal→Generalfeldmarschall and link
Done
for neutral link Neutral country
Good idea
"In April, the British and French fleets had launched"
I'll do this one tomorrow. Cheers.
CPA-5 (
talk) 19:33, 19 November 2019 (UTC)reply
other officers, including Hans von Koester, August von Thomsen, Hans Sack, Wilhelm Büchsel, Carl Barandon, Conrad von Bodenhausen, Gustav Schmidt, and Curt von Maltzahn No ranks?
I didn't think it was worth bogging down the prose any more by including the ranks and translations to the long list of names.
replaced by C/01 semi-armor-piercing (SAP) shell Is semi-armor-piercing here an adjective?
Yes
on 16 February 1894 that killed forty-four men: twenty-five crew members, eighteen shipyard workers --> "on 16 February 1894 that killed 44 men: 25 crew members, 18 shipyard workers, and 1 from the commission"?
I generally prefer to spell out numbers
Chinese nationalists laid siege to the foreign embassies Pipe Chinese to the Qing dynasty.
I think it makes more sense to pipe it to "westerners in
China"
Link marks.
Done
Pipe Bulgarian to the Kingdom of Bulgaria.
Done
Pipe Greek to the Kingdom of Greece.
Done
Dardanelles fortresses during the Dardanelles campaign --> "Dardanelles fortresses during the Dardanelles Campaign"
There was a bit of a stink earlier this year about whether campaign ought to be capitalized (actually, I started it by pointing out that some were capitalized and some weren't, but I didn't particularly care one way or the other), and after much yelling and gnashing of teeth discussion, it was decided that they should not be capitalized.
British and French fleets launched the Gallipoli campaign Same as above.
As above
meaning that it was a naval gun of built-up construction American build-up or is this official in American English?
It'd be built-up in either version
That's it I think - sorry for the delay I was really busy with family stuff. Cheers.
CPA-5 (
talk) 16:18, 24 November 2019 (UTC)reply
No problem, family stuff is more important!
Parsecboy (
talk) 14:29, 27 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Great to hear; looks good to me. Cheers.
CPA-5 (
talk) 13:38, 1 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Image review
Update the licensing for the Heimdall lithograph to reflect when Graf died and the same for the lithograph for Wörth
Done
And the same for F. K. Barnes
Done
Not thrilled with the placement of the Kurfürst Friedrich Wilhelm image as there's a ton of whitespace to its left on my monitors. Perhaps after the table?--
Sturmvogel 66 (
talk) 19:42, 22 November 2019 (UTC)reply
The image isn't causing the whitespace - the table isn't wide enough to cover the whole width on wider monitors - so moving the image will actually make the problem worse, not better.
Parsecboy (
talk) 19:53, 22 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Closing note: This
candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see
WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the
bot goes through. --
Laser brain(talk) 14:16, 12 December 2019 (UTC)reply
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.