The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot ( talk) 22:32, 6 September 2018 [1].
This article is about a Punjabi film. This is my fifth attempt at a film FAC. Looking forward to constructive criticism. Vedant Talk 20:45, 18 July 2018 (UTC)
Optional comment: For a movie released as recently as 2015, is this how far you could expand the article? If that is so, never mind if that's how much the Punjabi media covered. Kailash29792 (talk) 09:26, 19 July 2018 (UTC)
Great work with the article. Once my comments are addressed, I will support this for promotion. Have a wonderful rest of your day! Aoba47 ( talk) 03:45, 21 July 2018 (UTC)
All the references look fine to me, save the BookMyShow one. I know that it is a ticket booking website, having booked there for a few films myself, but you can try and find information somewhere else, say here at BBFC, Moviefone and TOI. — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 11:45, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
It passes the image review. Aoba47 ( talk) 22:09, 31 July 2018 (UTC)
Coordinator comment: This has four supports, but I think I'd like a little more commentary, and a little more reference to the FA criteria, particularly with reference to sourcing and prose. If no-one has done this soon, I will approach a few people myself and ask for a little further review. Sarastro ( talk) 20:06, 29 August 2018 (UTC)
Prose sample: lead.
I don't know what the rest is like, and the lead is hard to write. But this is definitely not FA standard. The system is failing (failing you, the nominator) by leaving it here on the list for months and months. I'm afraid it's an Oppose. Tony (talk) 03:09, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
CHECKLIST
After reading Tony's comments I just picked one section to look at: Filming and post-production. Here are some points from that section.
Principal photography for Angrej took place in the rural parts of Punjab and Rajasthan; Navneet Misser served as the film's cinematographer. I'd suggest "rural areas" rather than "the rural parts"; the "the" implies it took place in all of the rural areas of those states. Without any comment on Misser's abilities or performance it seems pointless to mention him here -- he's in the infobox. That's a minor point, but if you keep him, I'd cut "served" in favour of something more invisible, such as "was".
The scenes of the village locale were shot at-> "The village scenes were shot at".
He paid particular attention to landscaping, with the production team constructing their own sets on the various shooting locations.This is not what the source says. The source has "Professional team working under Raashid worked initially on the set design. The houses, landscapes, few number of trees, streets were all created as per the story’s requirement. Raashid said, 'The love scenes are setup in the background of the village so a plain piece of land wouldn’t have served the purpose. We chose to create our own houses and other infrastructure which involved a much of hard work.' " There's nothing about giving particular attention to landscaping. Production teams construct sets, so saying they did that seems a bit pointless; it's like saying the filming was done by the camera team. Raashid's point is that the village backdrop was a set, though presumably some scenes were shot using Suratgarh as the location rather than the set, given the statement earlier in the section.
The cast and crew had also collected such property as period utensils prior to commencement of filming: The source says "the entire team looked for utensils that represented the old Punjab. 'We managed to collect a truck full of it' ". The paraphrase is inaccurate: the source only says "utensils", not "such property as utensils", which implies other things too. The source doesn't say this was completed prior to the start of filming, and given how shooting schedules often work this seems unlikely. A prose point: you're missing "the" before "commencement". Finally, I'm not even sure I would include this -- "utensils" is frustratingly unspecific so it's hard to know how to use this without giving the original wording. Perhaps the key point here is not the utensils, but the fact that the everyone involved in the film helped; phrasing that focused on that might be better. By the way, the archive link for that source seems to be damaged: when I try it I get the html source of the archive.
Costumes, which included Punjabi wedding attire, were made of khadi handloom fabric: All the costumes? Some of the costumes?
The cloth was brought Banaras, Bikaner, and Jalandhar: a word appears to be missing here.
Rangrez and his team of designers, which included Manmeet Bindra used white cloth for...: another missing parenthetical comma.
Filming for the production was done in a single schedule that lasted for around 40 days: "schedule" is not the right word here; I take it you mean there were no breaks in the schedule, so something like "in about 40 days, with no breaks in the schedule" would be better.
Oppose. This is more work to do in a single short section than I would expect at FAC. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 10:32, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
I'll be archiving this shortly so that the points above can be dealt with outside the FAC process, with a view to a possible re-nomination later. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 22:32, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot ( talk) 22:32, 6 September 2018 [1].
This article is about a Punjabi film. This is my fifth attempt at a film FAC. Looking forward to constructive criticism. Vedant Talk 20:45, 18 July 2018 (UTC)
Optional comment: For a movie released as recently as 2015, is this how far you could expand the article? If that is so, never mind if that's how much the Punjabi media covered. Kailash29792 (talk) 09:26, 19 July 2018 (UTC)
Great work with the article. Once my comments are addressed, I will support this for promotion. Have a wonderful rest of your day! Aoba47 ( talk) 03:45, 21 July 2018 (UTC)
All the references look fine to me, save the BookMyShow one. I know that it is a ticket booking website, having booked there for a few films myself, but you can try and find information somewhere else, say here at BBFC, Moviefone and TOI. — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 11:45, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
It passes the image review. Aoba47 ( talk) 22:09, 31 July 2018 (UTC)
Coordinator comment: This has four supports, but I think I'd like a little more commentary, and a little more reference to the FA criteria, particularly with reference to sourcing and prose. If no-one has done this soon, I will approach a few people myself and ask for a little further review. Sarastro ( talk) 20:06, 29 August 2018 (UTC)
Prose sample: lead.
I don't know what the rest is like, and the lead is hard to write. But this is definitely not FA standard. The system is failing (failing you, the nominator) by leaving it here on the list for months and months. I'm afraid it's an Oppose. Tony (talk) 03:09, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
CHECKLIST
After reading Tony's comments I just picked one section to look at: Filming and post-production. Here are some points from that section.
Principal photography for Angrej took place in the rural parts of Punjab and Rajasthan; Navneet Misser served as the film's cinematographer. I'd suggest "rural areas" rather than "the rural parts"; the "the" implies it took place in all of the rural areas of those states. Without any comment on Misser's abilities or performance it seems pointless to mention him here -- he's in the infobox. That's a minor point, but if you keep him, I'd cut "served" in favour of something more invisible, such as "was".
The scenes of the village locale were shot at-> "The village scenes were shot at".
He paid particular attention to landscaping, with the production team constructing their own sets on the various shooting locations.This is not what the source says. The source has "Professional team working under Raashid worked initially on the set design. The houses, landscapes, few number of trees, streets were all created as per the story’s requirement. Raashid said, 'The love scenes are setup in the background of the village so a plain piece of land wouldn’t have served the purpose. We chose to create our own houses and other infrastructure which involved a much of hard work.' " There's nothing about giving particular attention to landscaping. Production teams construct sets, so saying they did that seems a bit pointless; it's like saying the filming was done by the camera team. Raashid's point is that the village backdrop was a set, though presumably some scenes were shot using Suratgarh as the location rather than the set, given the statement earlier in the section.
The cast and crew had also collected such property as period utensils prior to commencement of filming: The source says "the entire team looked for utensils that represented the old Punjab. 'We managed to collect a truck full of it' ". The paraphrase is inaccurate: the source only says "utensils", not "such property as utensils", which implies other things too. The source doesn't say this was completed prior to the start of filming, and given how shooting schedules often work this seems unlikely. A prose point: you're missing "the" before "commencement". Finally, I'm not even sure I would include this -- "utensils" is frustratingly unspecific so it's hard to know how to use this without giving the original wording. Perhaps the key point here is not the utensils, but the fact that the everyone involved in the film helped; phrasing that focused on that might be better. By the way, the archive link for that source seems to be damaged: when I try it I get the html source of the archive.
Costumes, which included Punjabi wedding attire, were made of khadi handloom fabric: All the costumes? Some of the costumes?
The cloth was brought Banaras, Bikaner, and Jalandhar: a word appears to be missing here.
Rangrez and his team of designers, which included Manmeet Bindra used white cloth for...: another missing parenthetical comma.
Filming for the production was done in a single schedule that lasted for around 40 days: "schedule" is not the right word here; I take it you mean there were no breaks in the schedule, so something like "in about 40 days, with no breaks in the schedule" would be better.
Oppose. This is more work to do in a single short section than I would expect at FAC. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 10:32, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
I'll be archiving this shortly so that the points above can be dealt with outside the FAC process, with a view to a possible re-nomination later. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 22:32, 6 September 2018 (UTC)