I think it is great how much information you found on your journalists life and death! The one thing that I would recommend would be trying to expand your Reactions section. I understand that the UN hadn't posted anything at the time but you might check back now or check a different source. Keep up the good work!
Balmung576 5 October 2011
It appears that you have found a nice amount of information. Your article as a whole is very informative. The introduction allows a glimpse into what the article is going to be about and includes most of the information that is requested. However, be careful about making sentences run on. It may also be a good idea to make links within this first introduction area. Death, context and impact all contain an appropriate amount of information. They only need change if you feel it is necessary to make the piece better as a whole. However, the reactions and career sections could both use some attention. Add more information to earn an "excellent" marking. NoLiesAllFacts ( talk) 04:41, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
You have collected some good information and you were able to structure your material in a nice presentable way, and so now you have to sharpen it. Firstly, the notability (organized crime poses a danger to Brazilian journalists) should be included in the lead. Secondly, source your material using inline citation so that you connect your material with the exact sources. Then look for more reactions like the one from the IACHR (search Lexis-Nexis using foreign news). Lastly, fix simple spelling errors even if you have put the text in word processor and run a check on it and make the corrections. This should be easy to wrap up. Good luck! Crtew ( talk) 23:39, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
- I'm not convinced you have the right Facebook link. Crtew ( talk) 23:41, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
- This is easy- Put two brackets around both sides of words that you think may have an entry in Wikipedia, like Serra do Mel and presto, you have a link! Find others... Crtew ( talk) 23:44, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
- Has anything else happened since July? Crtew ( talk) 19:49, 22 October 2011 (UTC)
I think it is great how much information you found on your journalists life and death! The one thing that I would recommend would be trying to expand your Reactions section. I understand that the UN hadn't posted anything at the time but you might check back now or check a different source. Keep up the good work!
Balmung576 5 October 2011
It appears that you have found a nice amount of information. Your article as a whole is very informative. The introduction allows a glimpse into what the article is going to be about and includes most of the information that is requested. However, be careful about making sentences run on. It may also be a good idea to make links within this first introduction area. Death, context and impact all contain an appropriate amount of information. They only need change if you feel it is necessary to make the piece better as a whole. However, the reactions and career sections could both use some attention. Add more information to earn an "excellent" marking. NoLiesAllFacts ( talk) 04:41, 6 October 2011 (UTC)
You have collected some good information and you were able to structure your material in a nice presentable way, and so now you have to sharpen it. Firstly, the notability (organized crime poses a danger to Brazilian journalists) should be included in the lead. Secondly, source your material using inline citation so that you connect your material with the exact sources. Then look for more reactions like the one from the IACHR (search Lexis-Nexis using foreign news). Lastly, fix simple spelling errors even if you have put the text in word processor and run a check on it and make the corrections. This should be easy to wrap up. Good luck! Crtew ( talk) 23:39, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
- I'm not convinced you have the right Facebook link. Crtew ( talk) 23:41, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
- This is easy- Put two brackets around both sides of words that you think may have an entry in Wikipedia, like Serra do Mel and presto, you have a link! Find others... Crtew ( talk) 23:44, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
- Has anything else happened since July? Crtew ( talk) 19:49, 22 October 2011 (UTC)