Anisa’s Comments: Gender Disparity in US Healthcare What does the article (or section) do well? - LOVE the mention of U.S. disparities in books and television media; I would expand on this making it its own section entitled “Publications and Televised Works Reflecting Gender Disparities in Healthcare” or something like that. o Killing the Black Body—another book that details the reproductive health disparities that affect Black women - No grammar mistakes, varied sentence structure - The headings that you have are great but could be expanded to further your topic
What changes would you suggest overall? - Talks about the disparities facing specific minority groups (Black and Hispanic women) o Ex. Black women have a high mortality rate when giving birth, Serena Williams case - Elabortate more on Porochista Khakpour as an author. Why is she a credible source? Does she have a medical or psychological background? - Society for Women’s Research Advocacy—I would expand more on this maybe make it a subheading? What efforts did they promote and execute? How did they do this? - Treatment: make mistreatment or misdiagnosis of women a subheading/psychological effects on women because of misdiagnosis - Treatment of chronic diseases should also be a subheading where you can highlight myocardial infarction. I would also touch upon cancer, stroke, diabetes etc. - Outcomes: if the disparities continue what is likely to happen to women. Why is there such a need for change? - I would also touch upon another healthcare system in world, like that of France: or at least compare it to that of the U.S.; maternity leave – the fact that Americans get a lack of maternity leave is a disparity
What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution? - Article is great, could use some expansion on some topics discussed in the prior point.
Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own? - There are many gender disparities that affect homeless women and the treatment of care they receive. Many interesting books and documentaries that I am interested in checking out now! Amiji.a ( talk) 15:26, 28 February 2020 (UTC)Anisa Amiji
Changes to make: add section headers to split up more link article for racial disparities, mention minorities and the issues they face expand on outcomes section maybe elaborate more on published works — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sr183155 ( talk • contribs) 16:01, 28 February 2020 (UTC)
Anisa’s Comments: Gender Disparity in US Healthcare What does the article (or section) do well? - LOVE the mention of U.S. disparities in books and television media; I would expand on this making it its own section entitled “Publications and Televised Works Reflecting Gender Disparities in Healthcare” or something like that. o Killing the Black Body—another book that details the reproductive health disparities that affect Black women - No grammar mistakes, varied sentence structure - The headings that you have are great but could be expanded to further your topic
What changes would you suggest overall? - Talks about the disparities facing specific minority groups (Black and Hispanic women) o Ex. Black women have a high mortality rate when giving birth, Serena Williams case - Elabortate more on Porochista Khakpour as an author. Why is she a credible source? Does she have a medical or psychological background? - Society for Women’s Research Advocacy—I would expand more on this maybe make it a subheading? What efforts did they promote and execute? How did they do this? - Treatment: make mistreatment or misdiagnosis of women a subheading/psychological effects on women because of misdiagnosis - Treatment of chronic diseases should also be a subheading where you can highlight myocardial infarction. I would also touch upon cancer, stroke, diabetes etc. - Outcomes: if the disparities continue what is likely to happen to women. Why is there such a need for change? - I would also touch upon another healthcare system in world, like that of France: or at least compare it to that of the U.S.; maternity leave – the fact that Americans get a lack of maternity leave is a disparity
What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution? - Article is great, could use some expansion on some topics discussed in the prior point.
Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own? - There are many gender disparities that affect homeless women and the treatment of care they receive. Many interesting books and documentaries that I am interested in checking out now! Amiji.a ( talk) 15:26, 28 February 2020 (UTC)Anisa Amiji
Changes to make: add section headers to split up more link article for racial disparities, mention minorities and the issues they face expand on outcomes section maybe elaborate more on published works — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sr183155 ( talk • contribs) 16:01, 28 February 2020 (UTC)