This is Pratim from Lakhuria's talk page, where you can send them messages and comments. |
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Archives: 1 |
Hello, Pratim from Lakhuria! I've reviewed your first two copy edits for the August 2017 blitz. Let me say that copy editing can be demanding work. It requires a lot of attention to detail, and familiarity with Wikipedia's house style. It took me about two months to go through the Manual of Style and the exercises at Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/How to before I started copy editing. I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't copy edit, but I want you to be aware that there's a bit of a learning curve, and it may be more of a commitment than you're willing to put in as a volunteer.
The Manual of Style is huge, but for the moment try to absorb the basics expressed in the simplified Manual of Style.
I liked how you arranged material in a logical, chronological order, and handled some tone issues. Further improvements could be made in that vein. There are a lot of punctuation problems, however. I feel that the first article also needs the paragraph breaks to separate subjects and make it a little easier to read.
I'm going to leave more detailed notes in the following sections (below). If you decide this is too much for you right now, you might be interested in these projects:
Now, on to specific notes. If you have any questions, please ask in the respective sections. Thanks.
I've gone ahead and done additional copy edit to this article. You can use the "View history" tab at the top of the article's page, and follow the links there to see the changes I made. I find it useful to view two versions of the article side-by-side and compare differences.
Notes:
For this article, I'll give you my notes on what I feel could be improved, and I'll leave it to you to make any changes. Please keep in mind that a copy edit will not be considered complete unless it is free of spelling, punctuation and grammar errors, and compliant with the Manual of Style.
Notes:
Satguru Ram Singh was bornwas the subject born as a "satguru"? If not, then the title should be removed from the sentence and not used until the subject took/received the title "satguru".
1816,tothere should be a space after the comma. I won't mention others like this.
He later became the founder of Namdhari Sikhism.I think you can lose that sentence. Section layout is meant to organize information for the reader, handling one topic at a time. It shouldn't mention things which aren't part of the subject's "Early life".
behaviorI'm not 100% on Indian English, but I believe this should be "behaviour".
with the fall in values of the society.The word "the" is the definite article which means that "the society" is referring to a specific society, but it isn't clear which. I feel this should either be specified, or "the" should be removed for a more general sense. So, perhaps "with the fall in values of military society", for example, or "with the fall in values of society".
Prince Naunihal Singh platoonif this is the name of the platoon, then platoon should also be capitalized. If this is the platoon of Prince Naunihal Singh, then it should use the possessive, i.e. "Prince Naunihal Singh's platoon".
“I had been waiting for you.”This is fairly minor but it's a pet peeve of mine. Those curly quotes are known to cause WP:ACCESSIBILITY problems and should be replaced with straight double quotes. (see MOS:CURLY if interested)
taught the Guru mantrawatch the capitalization there.
five paise and took five rounds around him in reverenceThe prose here could use improvement for clarity. "paise coins" might be clearer for a general audience, if that's accurate. "rounds around" is awkward.
The day, April 12, 1857You don't have to say "the day". The reader knows that's a day. It's unnecessarily wordy.
an auspicious dayI feel that's a bit of a peacock term, there's a tone issue, and it's saying the day is important without saying why. I might replace it by just saying it's the Sikh new year or something like that. Mention of Namdhari Sikhism can wait a bit until Ram Singh founds it, and the reader will then know its importance.
The Government of India officially decided to commemorate the 200th anniversary of Satguru Ram Singh starting from 2016That's a point that could maybe go in the lead (with citation).
gurdwaras,
Holy Granthother terms that could use explanation. Also check for capitalization and possibly italics for foreign words not used in common non-specialized English ( MOS:FOREIGNITALIC).
I'd appreciate it if you could correct these issues. If you have any questions or comments, please post them here. Thanks – Reidgreg ( talk) 19:46, 21 August 2017 (UTC)
rounds aroundseems to be okay English to me, may be it is an oddity of IE.
Please review any other article I may CE.Thanks Pratim from Lakhuria ( talk) 09:15, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
In response to your points:
As a young man, Satguru Ram Singh. To me, that implies he was a satguru as a young man, which doesn't seem to be the case.
In accordance with the instruction of the Satguru. Since this is clearly referring to a specific satguru, the subject, Ram Singh, it gets a capital. You can tell because it's the Satguru.
For your additional edits to the article:
starting from 2016. He later became the founder of Namdhari Sikhism.the reader might think that means he became the founder after 2016.
I know I've given you a lot to think about, but please try to keep this in mind with any additional articles you copy edit. When you've made all the improvements you can think of with your next copy edit, come back to these lists (all above) and think about whether any of these issues affect that article as well. Take your time. Copy edit is all about the quality of the work. – Reidgreg ( talk) 13:23, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
I'm reverting one or two of your edits to Eitel Brothers. The anchors are being used to link up from the citations/references. It's not the usual way of doing things, but Wikipedia has several valid citation styles and we shouldn't change them arbitrarily. Generally, it's not a good idea to remove anchors. They may link from other pages, and it can be very difficult to trace them back to make sure there are no problems. – Reidgreg ( talk) 13:27, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
Thanks for copy-editing articles for the GOCE's August blitz! Please take a look at the additional cleanup that I have performed on two of your articles in order to see how you might do an even better job in the future. Nice work. – Jonesey95 ( talk) 13:07, 24 August 2017 (UTC)
![]() |
The Modest Barnstar | |
This barnstar is awarded to Pratim from Lakhuria for copy edits totaling over 2,000 words (including rollover words) during the GOCE August 2017 Copy Editing Blitz. Congratulations, and thank you for your contributions! Keira 1996 07:46, 29 August 2017 (UTC) |
Hello, Pratim from Lakhuria. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, " Shubodh graffiti".
In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia
mainspace, the draft has been nominated for deletion. If you plan on working on it further, or editing it to address the issues raised if it was declined, simply and remove the {{db-afc}}
, {{db-draft}}
, or {{db-g13}}
code.
If your submission has already been deleted by the time you get there, and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by following the instructions at this link. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.
Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. Legacypac ( talk) 10:06, 28 February 2018 (UTC)
This is Pratim from Lakhuria's talk page, where you can send them messages and comments. |
|
Archives: 1 |
Hello, Pratim from Lakhuria! I've reviewed your first two copy edits for the August 2017 blitz. Let me say that copy editing can be demanding work. It requires a lot of attention to detail, and familiarity with Wikipedia's house style. It took me about two months to go through the Manual of Style and the exercises at Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/How to before I started copy editing. I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't copy edit, but I want you to be aware that there's a bit of a learning curve, and it may be more of a commitment than you're willing to put in as a volunteer.
The Manual of Style is huge, but for the moment try to absorb the basics expressed in the simplified Manual of Style.
I liked how you arranged material in a logical, chronological order, and handled some tone issues. Further improvements could be made in that vein. There are a lot of punctuation problems, however. I feel that the first article also needs the paragraph breaks to separate subjects and make it a little easier to read.
I'm going to leave more detailed notes in the following sections (below). If you decide this is too much for you right now, you might be interested in these projects:
Now, on to specific notes. If you have any questions, please ask in the respective sections. Thanks.
I've gone ahead and done additional copy edit to this article. You can use the "View history" tab at the top of the article's page, and follow the links there to see the changes I made. I find it useful to view two versions of the article side-by-side and compare differences.
Notes:
For this article, I'll give you my notes on what I feel could be improved, and I'll leave it to you to make any changes. Please keep in mind that a copy edit will not be considered complete unless it is free of spelling, punctuation and grammar errors, and compliant with the Manual of Style.
Notes:
Satguru Ram Singh was bornwas the subject born as a "satguru"? If not, then the title should be removed from the sentence and not used until the subject took/received the title "satguru".
1816,tothere should be a space after the comma. I won't mention others like this.
He later became the founder of Namdhari Sikhism.I think you can lose that sentence. Section layout is meant to organize information for the reader, handling one topic at a time. It shouldn't mention things which aren't part of the subject's "Early life".
behaviorI'm not 100% on Indian English, but I believe this should be "behaviour".
with the fall in values of the society.The word "the" is the definite article which means that "the society" is referring to a specific society, but it isn't clear which. I feel this should either be specified, or "the" should be removed for a more general sense. So, perhaps "with the fall in values of military society", for example, or "with the fall in values of society".
Prince Naunihal Singh platoonif this is the name of the platoon, then platoon should also be capitalized. If this is the platoon of Prince Naunihal Singh, then it should use the possessive, i.e. "Prince Naunihal Singh's platoon".
“I had been waiting for you.”This is fairly minor but it's a pet peeve of mine. Those curly quotes are known to cause WP:ACCESSIBILITY problems and should be replaced with straight double quotes. (see MOS:CURLY if interested)
taught the Guru mantrawatch the capitalization there.
five paise and took five rounds around him in reverenceThe prose here could use improvement for clarity. "paise coins" might be clearer for a general audience, if that's accurate. "rounds around" is awkward.
The day, April 12, 1857You don't have to say "the day". The reader knows that's a day. It's unnecessarily wordy.
an auspicious dayI feel that's a bit of a peacock term, there's a tone issue, and it's saying the day is important without saying why. I might replace it by just saying it's the Sikh new year or something like that. Mention of Namdhari Sikhism can wait a bit until Ram Singh founds it, and the reader will then know its importance.
The Government of India officially decided to commemorate the 200th anniversary of Satguru Ram Singh starting from 2016That's a point that could maybe go in the lead (with citation).
gurdwaras,
Holy Granthother terms that could use explanation. Also check for capitalization and possibly italics for foreign words not used in common non-specialized English ( MOS:FOREIGNITALIC).
I'd appreciate it if you could correct these issues. If you have any questions or comments, please post them here. Thanks – Reidgreg ( talk) 19:46, 21 August 2017 (UTC)
rounds aroundseems to be okay English to me, may be it is an oddity of IE.
Please review any other article I may CE.Thanks Pratim from Lakhuria ( talk) 09:15, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
In response to your points:
As a young man, Satguru Ram Singh. To me, that implies he was a satguru as a young man, which doesn't seem to be the case.
In accordance with the instruction of the Satguru. Since this is clearly referring to a specific satguru, the subject, Ram Singh, it gets a capital. You can tell because it's the Satguru.
For your additional edits to the article:
starting from 2016. He later became the founder of Namdhari Sikhism.the reader might think that means he became the founder after 2016.
I know I've given you a lot to think about, but please try to keep this in mind with any additional articles you copy edit. When you've made all the improvements you can think of with your next copy edit, come back to these lists (all above) and think about whether any of these issues affect that article as well. Take your time. Copy edit is all about the quality of the work. – Reidgreg ( talk) 13:23, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
I'm reverting one or two of your edits to Eitel Brothers. The anchors are being used to link up from the citations/references. It's not the usual way of doing things, but Wikipedia has several valid citation styles and we shouldn't change them arbitrarily. Generally, it's not a good idea to remove anchors. They may link from other pages, and it can be very difficult to trace them back to make sure there are no problems. – Reidgreg ( talk) 13:27, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
Thanks for copy-editing articles for the GOCE's August blitz! Please take a look at the additional cleanup that I have performed on two of your articles in order to see how you might do an even better job in the future. Nice work. – Jonesey95 ( talk) 13:07, 24 August 2017 (UTC)
![]() |
The Modest Barnstar | |
This barnstar is awarded to Pratim from Lakhuria for copy edits totaling over 2,000 words (including rollover words) during the GOCE August 2017 Copy Editing Blitz. Congratulations, and thank you for your contributions! Keira 1996 07:46, 29 August 2017 (UTC) |
Hello, Pratim from Lakhuria. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, " Shubodh graffiti".
In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia
mainspace, the draft has been nominated for deletion. If you plan on working on it further, or editing it to address the issues raised if it was declined, simply and remove the {{db-afc}}
, {{db-draft}}
, or {{db-g13}}
code.
If your submission has already been deleted by the time you get there, and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by following the instructions at this link. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.
Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. Legacypac ( talk) 10:06, 28 February 2018 (UTC)