General info
- Whose work are you reviewing?
Sasharoach
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- User:Sasharoach/Bluey (long-lived dog)
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- Bluey (long-lived dog)
Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi, due to the lack of peer reviews of your article you're getting one from me :).
Lead
I wonder if it would make sense to make a separate section for controversies and title challenges rather than putting it in the lead. I see that it's in the lead for the current article but now with the expansion it seems like it might be a bit of undue weight.
Content
This is a tough subject to dig up records on, for sure. What you've added is good, but the article does need a bit more in order to improve by a full quality class.
Tone and Balance
The article so far does have some problems with promotional tone. Take a look at other reality shows to get some examples of what it looks like to write with a more neutral tone.
Sources and References
Maybe it would be useful to look at historical newspapers? Searching "bluey AND dog AND australia" from the ProQuest historical newspapers archive actually gets some hits!
There's also this one (I didn't search here):
Organization
Overall the organization makes sense. With more contents you might find opportunities to have more sections.
Images and Media
More images would be great if they can be found -- unfortunately that's a tall order.
Overall Impressions
Overall, you've made good progress on a challenging subject to research. Keep going -- I hope those links I found will really help.
General info
- Whose work are you reviewing?
Sasharoach
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- User:Sasharoach/Bluey (long-lived dog)
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- Bluey (long-lived dog)
Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi, due to the lack of peer reviews of your article you're getting one from me :).
Lead
I wonder if it would make sense to make a separate section for controversies and title challenges rather than putting it in the lead. I see that it's in the lead for the current article but now with the expansion it seems like it might be a bit of undue weight.
Content
This is a tough subject to dig up records on, for sure. What you've added is good, but the article does need a bit more in order to improve by a full quality class.
Tone and Balance
The article so far does have some problems with promotional tone. Take a look at other reality shows to get some examples of what it looks like to write with a more neutral tone.
Sources and References
Maybe it would be useful to look at historical newspapers? Searching "bluey AND dog AND australia" from the ProQuest historical newspapers archive actually gets some hits!
There's also this one (I didn't search here):
Organization
Overall the organization makes sense. With more contents you might find opportunities to have more sections.
Images and Media
More images would be great if they can be found -- unfortunately that's a tall order.
Overall Impressions
Overall, you've made good progress on a challenging subject to research. Keep going -- I hope those links I found will really help.