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Chaos! Chaos! — Kdo postihne ty látky, |
Chaos! Chaos! Who discerns elements |
References
Materials & discussion
|
---|
Chaos! Chaos! Who can recognise all these elements,
Iambic pentameter; Spenserian stanza
DiscussionFirst attempt above. Naturally the lines vary in literalness, but I'm pleased by how many are quite close. I guess "Where are the pillars of the continents" is probably the furthest from literal; something like "Where are the seas and Gaia's continents" might be closer, but I do like the scriptural ring of "pillars". Note that "cast" may serve as "discarded" ("out of sight"), but also "molded" (as bronze -- which is a "compound"). I look forward to your constructive criticism. Phil wink ( talk) 01:19, 17 August 2016 (UTC) |
Umarły jeszcze będę wielbić ciebie! |
Your death cannot diminish my true love, |
— Adam Asnyk |
References
Although dead, I will still adore you!
And I will never forget, under the ground or in heaven,
About Your light.
For me you were not a vain dream,
Not a rainbow-coloured bubble of nothingness,
But my soul’s refreshing longing
For eternal love.
You didn’t surround me with caressing in my sleep,
You were not a flaming wave
To cover my breast (chest) waiting,
You didn’t invite me to bed covered with petals of rose,
Where only bodies sink in bliss,
But you gave me lust for beauty,
An everlasting power.
Likely Sapphic stanza — possibly Adam Asnyk, Hendecasyllable
Two stanzas rhymed aabcbcb. Iambic pentameter, except dimeter with feminine ending for 1st & 3rd "b" line of each stanza.
The poem is addressed to a woman. I think it is deeper than romantic love poems.
I know the "hour" line is a bit of a cheat, but I think the rest is reasonably solid ... stanza 1, not so much yet. Phil wink ( talk) 04:31, 29 August 2016 (UTC)
"Štědrovečerní zvony" |
"Christmas Eve bells" |
— Jaroslav Vrchlický (lines 1-4) |
References
From depths of a city sleeping in fog, through shadows
with strong voice over the water clothed in black,
over the fields (hills) go far
Christmas bells.
Sapphic stanza? Sapphic stanza in Czech poetry?
/ x / x / x x / x / x (times 3) / x x / x
(no rhyme)
The tone of the poem is calm and idyllic, but also solemn and prophetic in last stanzas (there is the image of a Czech baby who can fight against serpents like Heracles and the question: Who can say that the Messiah does not sleep here?)
I think this Sapphic stanza is comparable - as an imitation of Old Greek measure - to Alfred Tennysson's Milton in Alcaics. Perhaps it is not much English with its feminine endings, but it should be somehow unusual, as it is not a common form in its Czech environment, either.
<ref>...</ref>
right at the end of the Czech text above, just as you normally would). If this is the whole poem, then that's enough -- if this is an excerpt, then please note line numbers too.Nieszczęściu kwoli a swojej żałości, |
Since my misfortunes and my daily sorrow |
References
Materials & discussion
|
---|
Because of my misfortune and my sorrow,
Sapphic stanza in Polish poetry
Polish sapphics
Wyatt DiscussionEven though the "a" rhyme is a slant-rhyme, I thought it was too on-the-nose not to use. The English short line does not have the punch of the Polish, but nothing better has come to mind yet. I have not attempted to duplicate the rhythms of the "o o o" syllables, only the characteristic "S s" of the hemistich and line endings. Phil wink ( talk) 03:09, 25 September 2016 (UTC) |
This is not a Wikipedia article: It is an individual user's work-in-progress page, and may be incomplete and/or unreliable. For guidance on developing this draft, see
Wikipedia:So you made a userspace draft. Find sources:
Google (
books ·
news ·
scholar ·
free images ·
WP refs) ·
FENS ·
JSTOR ·
TWL |
Chaos! Chaos! — Kdo postihne ty látky, |
Chaos! Chaos! Who discerns elements |
References
Materials & discussion
|
---|
Chaos! Chaos! Who can recognise all these elements,
Iambic pentameter; Spenserian stanza
DiscussionFirst attempt above. Naturally the lines vary in literalness, but I'm pleased by how many are quite close. I guess "Where are the pillars of the continents" is probably the furthest from literal; something like "Where are the seas and Gaia's continents" might be closer, but I do like the scriptural ring of "pillars". Note that "cast" may serve as "discarded" ("out of sight"), but also "molded" (as bronze -- which is a "compound"). I look forward to your constructive criticism. Phil wink ( talk) 01:19, 17 August 2016 (UTC) |
Umarły jeszcze będę wielbić ciebie! |
Your death cannot diminish my true love, |
— Adam Asnyk |
References
Although dead, I will still adore you!
And I will never forget, under the ground or in heaven,
About Your light.
For me you were not a vain dream,
Not a rainbow-coloured bubble of nothingness,
But my soul’s refreshing longing
For eternal love.
You didn’t surround me with caressing in my sleep,
You were not a flaming wave
To cover my breast (chest) waiting,
You didn’t invite me to bed covered with petals of rose,
Where only bodies sink in bliss,
But you gave me lust for beauty,
An everlasting power.
Likely Sapphic stanza — possibly Adam Asnyk, Hendecasyllable
Two stanzas rhymed aabcbcb. Iambic pentameter, except dimeter with feminine ending for 1st & 3rd "b" line of each stanza.
The poem is addressed to a woman. I think it is deeper than romantic love poems.
I know the "hour" line is a bit of a cheat, but I think the rest is reasonably solid ... stanza 1, not so much yet. Phil wink ( talk) 04:31, 29 August 2016 (UTC)
"Štědrovečerní zvony" |
"Christmas Eve bells" |
— Jaroslav Vrchlický (lines 1-4) |
References
From depths of a city sleeping in fog, through shadows
with strong voice over the water clothed in black,
over the fields (hills) go far
Christmas bells.
Sapphic stanza? Sapphic stanza in Czech poetry?
/ x / x / x x / x / x (times 3) / x x / x
(no rhyme)
The tone of the poem is calm and idyllic, but also solemn and prophetic in last stanzas (there is the image of a Czech baby who can fight against serpents like Heracles and the question: Who can say that the Messiah does not sleep here?)
I think this Sapphic stanza is comparable - as an imitation of Old Greek measure - to Alfred Tennysson's Milton in Alcaics. Perhaps it is not much English with its feminine endings, but it should be somehow unusual, as it is not a common form in its Czech environment, either.
<ref>...</ref>
right at the end of the Czech text above, just as you normally would). If this is the whole poem, then that's enough -- if this is an excerpt, then please note line numbers too.Nieszczęściu kwoli a swojej żałości, |
Since my misfortunes and my daily sorrow |
References
Materials & discussion
|
---|
Because of my misfortune and my sorrow,
Sapphic stanza in Polish poetry
Polish sapphics
Wyatt DiscussionEven though the "a" rhyme is a slant-rhyme, I thought it was too on-the-nose not to use. The English short line does not have the punch of the Polish, but nothing better has come to mind yet. I have not attempted to duplicate the rhythms of the "o o o" syllables, only the characteristic "S s" of the hemistich and line endings. Phil wink ( talk) 03:09, 25 September 2016 (UTC) |