From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)

Shivamsaran

Link to draft you're reviewing
Provided by instructor
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Does not exist

Evaluate the drafted changes

(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

1.What does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?

I am impressed with the manner in which the history of Ybor City is concise and does a wonderful job at summarizing its founding. This is especially true for the background information that is provided for Vicente Martinez-Ybor. Moreover, the section titled "Establishment" really does describe the story of the founding of Ybor City. In addition to this, there exists a consistency by referring to Vicente as Martinez-Ybor, which helps to provide a sense of credibility for the article. Adding onto this legitimacy, is the various citations that are included thus far.

2. What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?

One of the changes that I would suggest is to provide a clear depiction of sequence for the reader in order to demonstrate development of the city. Although the section titled "Establishments" mentions a date two times (1886), it is a little confusing on whether these events all happened within the same year or if they were spread out through a period of time.

Moreover, it would be helpful to include a section that delves into the aspect of Cuban immigrant labor since they are heavily mentioned as contributors in the factories. By including this, the readers could discern personal experiences of laborers and assess potential setbacks for laborers as well as business leaders.

3. What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?

Certainly, the most important thing would be to develop a couple more categories that provide useful information regrading the Latinx cigar factories. By adding more headings, the author could touch upon various essential elements of the factories.

4. Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article?

As I mentioned earlier, the article includes much historical context but seems to provide an overview as far as dates go. Within my article, I also describe many historical events as they pertain to my assigned individual but without including years. Of course, these dates could provide a better chronological sense for my reader and further contribute to my credibility.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)

Shivamsaran

Link to draft you're reviewing
Provided by instructor
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Does not exist

Evaluate the drafted changes

(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

1.What does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?

I am impressed with the manner in which the history of Ybor City is concise and does a wonderful job at summarizing its founding. This is especially true for the background information that is provided for Vicente Martinez-Ybor. Moreover, the section titled "Establishment" really does describe the story of the founding of Ybor City. In addition to this, there exists a consistency by referring to Vicente as Martinez-Ybor, which helps to provide a sense of credibility for the article. Adding onto this legitimacy, is the various citations that are included thus far.

2. What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?

One of the changes that I would suggest is to provide a clear depiction of sequence for the reader in order to demonstrate development of the city. Although the section titled "Establishments" mentions a date two times (1886), it is a little confusing on whether these events all happened within the same year or if they were spread out through a period of time.

Moreover, it would be helpful to include a section that delves into the aspect of Cuban immigrant labor since they are heavily mentioned as contributors in the factories. By including this, the readers could discern personal experiences of laborers and assess potential setbacks for laborers as well as business leaders.

3. What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?

Certainly, the most important thing would be to develop a couple more categories that provide useful information regrading the Latinx cigar factories. By adding more headings, the author could touch upon various essential elements of the factories.

4. Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article?

As I mentioned earlier, the article includes much historical context but seems to provide an overview as far as dates go. Within my article, I also describe many historical events as they pertain to my assigned individual but without including years. Of course, these dates could provide a better chronological sense for my reader and further contribute to my credibility.


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