From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

Schnickelfritz66

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:Schnickelfritz66/Women Strike for Peace
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Women Strike for Peace

Evaluate the drafted changes

Review by Nardos Berhanu

I found the article on Women Strike for Peace to be incredibly engaging and insightful. Your dedication to highlighting the history and impact of this movement is great.

However, I believe there are some areas where it could be further improved.

Firstly, I noticed that the sentences in the section "Building Up to the March on the Capitol" tend to be quite lengthy. It might enhance readability if these sentences were organized and condensed a bit more.

Additionally, regarding your suggestion to split the paragraph titled "Actions" into two sections, one focusing on "Women Involved," I observed that there's already a section titled "Notable Members." Perhaps instead of creating a separate section, the paragraph on actions could briefly mention the women involved and then elaborate on their names and roles in the "Notable Members" section. This could provide a smoother flow and avoid repetition.

Overall, these are just minor suggestions to enhance the clarity and organization of the article. Your addition to the story of Women Strike for Peace is inspiring, and I'm confident that your work will enrich reader's experience.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

Schnickelfritz66

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:Schnickelfritz66/Women Strike for Peace
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Women Strike for Peace

Evaluate the drafted changes

Review by Nardos Berhanu

I found the article on Women Strike for Peace to be incredibly engaging and insightful. Your dedication to highlighting the history and impact of this movement is great.

However, I believe there are some areas where it could be further improved.

Firstly, I noticed that the sentences in the section "Building Up to the March on the Capitol" tend to be quite lengthy. It might enhance readability if these sentences were organized and condensed a bit more.

Additionally, regarding your suggestion to split the paragraph titled "Actions" into two sections, one focusing on "Women Involved," I observed that there's already a section titled "Notable Members." Perhaps instead of creating a separate section, the paragraph on actions could briefly mention the women involved and then elaborate on their names and roles in the "Notable Members" section. This could provide a smoother flow and avoid repetition.

Overall, these are just minor suggestions to enhance the clarity and organization of the article. Your addition to the story of Women Strike for Peace is inspiring, and I'm confident that your work will enrich reader's experience.


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