ISSUE ONE: Prepare To Be Confused.

The following rambling(s) evolved from an analysis of the lighting used in the film American Beauty for Unit 3 VCE Media. It may or may not contain irrelevant comments. These are my ramblings: (cue Law And Order jingle)

'Twas lit with lights. Lights cause lighting effects. Lighting is used at all times. Colonel Fitts is always darkened... cheerleading scene. Night-time when guy got shot, which you could tell as it was dark. Computer says no. Boycott Big Brother ‘06! The lighting used in the film is cool. Light bounces of objects within the frame to show different colours, such as reds, blues, greens and oranges. Raoul Hernandez's "auburn” hair is of a high light wavelength... or is it? Go Harvey, go Harvey Norman; go! White light is a mixture of all the colours of the rainbow; first comes Red, then Orange; Yellow usually follows - it is followed by Green, Blue, Indigo and finally Violent Rubble. I am the egg-plant. They are the egg-plants. I am the Walnut! Goo-goo ka-choo. The Hububble space telescope uses light that comes from varying inter-stellar matter, such as stars and nebulae, to take photographs of deep space. "Blackness, filled with coloured lights," said Teal'c. Computer says 'No'. Cough. What is the deal with airline food? What is the deal with the fire department? What is the deal with their stupid uniforms? What is the square-root of pi? These are all ecumenical matters. Hail OneCone International! I hate international boat-rides; they make me sick – literally! Stupid Year 10s peeking through the window distracting me from my “important” “Media” work. Dirt is another distraction; dirt and dust get into the ball-area of the mouse, making it not work properly. And another thing: cables! Cables are frustratingly annoying. Angela and another one on Lester in the audience. Oh, my! This really adds moo to the scene as watched by the watcher. “If only I could hunt the Hunter” (Wouldn’t that be suicide?). “Drink! Drink! Drink!! I’m a happy camper! Go on, go on, go on, go on… no Mrs. Doyle” ... Ooh, look at me, I’m a leader! [Censored] bang! Stupid SRC people – straight to the morgue. Stupid blonde animated characters of Dragon Ball Z... “bring back new episodes of Gumby!” said Thomas The Tank Engine. 'Video games are the best' says Tolson. “EBT”, as once said by some idiot waitor in a fancy café , ( English Breakfast Tea) suddenly becomes an egg and bacon tourniquet when meeting with a hated parent.

Next time (or later in future issues) on “The Comedic Ramblings Of Sir David P. A. Hunter”:

• “Boycott Big Brother '06!”; assassinate Gretel Killeen,
• The OneCone Concise Maddocks-Hunter Method Of World Domination,
• More crazy ramblings, including Saddam Hussein’s Mystery SuperGun,
• The Continuing Story Of Getting People To Write For This Paper,
• The story of Bob, a Sweet As regular customer (also a generic idiot).
• Ridiculing certain staff of De La Salle College, including plans to make a video game revolving around the life of Douglas Ernie Esler.

That is all. -- David P. A. Hunter.

N.B.: Hail Anthony Quinn, Laurence Olivier and Audrey Hepburn (along with all the other gods of Dead Actorism).