Hepatic lipase: plenty of room for clarification and expansion especially adding graphics
Peer Review
Caterina's Peer Review
Content: Overall the content that was added was very relevant and to the topic that you are writing about. Try to make your writing more formal and less wordy. If there is anything else you could think of adding such as a structure or functional diagram, I would highly suggest doing that since just having an explanation can usually get confusing.
Accuracy: In your function section everything seems to be properly cited and not taken out of context. There is one sentence in your regulation section that does not have a citation. Make sure you include one so that the reader can verify the informational accuracy of your content. In your Clinical significance section, you did not cite many of your sentences. Try to not include in text citations such as "In one test, an experiment was created by Cedó et al. where mouse cells were created to have a mutated HL protein." There needs to be a clear citation that the reader can reference.
Organization: Maybe include "The human body contains two types of HL: on the liver bound to HSPG and in the blood inactive, bound to HDL. " in the introduction instead because it doesn't seem to be related to the paragraph you are introducing. Maybe include "The activation of HL occurs in two steps. First, HDL binds to HL thereby removing the heparan sulfate proteoglycan, which keeps HL inactive. Second, HDL unbinds from HL enzymes on the liver to activate free HL enzymes in the blood" in the following paragraph about activation and inhibition because it doesn't seem to be a good stand alone sentence. Maybe just have two subsections: activation and inhibition.
Clarity: In your function section, it is not necessary to link triacylglycerol twice. Also don't start with abbreviations of a certain compound. Try to format it like this: "The substrate, triacylglycerol, comes from
intermediate-density lipoprotein (IDL)." and then continue by using the abbreviation in the rest of the section. Additionally, please link the following terms because high school readers may not necessarily know or understand what those things are: HDL3 (High density lipoprotein 3, also if you're going to link it you don't need to necessarily explain its function as much as you did), LCAT, SR-B1. There is some wordiness present such as "These remaining remnants of LDL..." and "plaque (also referred to as a lipid pool) so try to read through and make sure you avoid redundancy. I also notice a lot of run on sentences that are hard to keep up with so try to work on your sentence flow and maybe add a few periods instead of saying "....and.....and....and". In your regulation section, please refer to HL as "hepatic lipase (HL)" when you first mention it so that it is clear to the reader that HL does not potentially have another abbreviation associated with it. Also link: ApoA-I, VLDL, ApoE. Again avoid the wordiness and make sure that your sentence has a proper subject so that the reader knows which specific mutations, etc. you are referencing. The language you use such as "In the experiment though" is suggestive, a bit informal, and unnecessary. Try to avoid that kind of language.
Hepatic lipase: plenty of room for clarification and expansion especially adding graphics
Peer Review
Caterina's Peer Review
Content: Overall the content that was added was very relevant and to the topic that you are writing about. Try to make your writing more formal and less wordy. If there is anything else you could think of adding such as a structure or functional diagram, I would highly suggest doing that since just having an explanation can usually get confusing.
Accuracy: In your function section everything seems to be properly cited and not taken out of context. There is one sentence in your regulation section that does not have a citation. Make sure you include one so that the reader can verify the informational accuracy of your content. In your Clinical significance section, you did not cite many of your sentences. Try to not include in text citations such as "In one test, an experiment was created by Cedó et al. where mouse cells were created to have a mutated HL protein." There needs to be a clear citation that the reader can reference.
Organization: Maybe include "The human body contains two types of HL: on the liver bound to HSPG and in the blood inactive, bound to HDL. " in the introduction instead because it doesn't seem to be related to the paragraph you are introducing. Maybe include "The activation of HL occurs in two steps. First, HDL binds to HL thereby removing the heparan sulfate proteoglycan, which keeps HL inactive. Second, HDL unbinds from HL enzymes on the liver to activate free HL enzymes in the blood" in the following paragraph about activation and inhibition because it doesn't seem to be a good stand alone sentence. Maybe just have two subsections: activation and inhibition.
Clarity: In your function section, it is not necessary to link triacylglycerol twice. Also don't start with abbreviations of a certain compound. Try to format it like this: "The substrate, triacylglycerol, comes from
intermediate-density lipoprotein (IDL)." and then continue by using the abbreviation in the rest of the section. Additionally, please link the following terms because high school readers may not necessarily know or understand what those things are: HDL3 (High density lipoprotein 3, also if you're going to link it you don't need to necessarily explain its function as much as you did), LCAT, SR-B1. There is some wordiness present such as "These remaining remnants of LDL..." and "plaque (also referred to as a lipid pool) so try to read through and make sure you avoid redundancy. I also notice a lot of run on sentences that are hard to keep up with so try to work on your sentence flow and maybe add a few periods instead of saying "....and.....and....and". In your regulation section, please refer to HL as "hepatic lipase (HL)" when you first mention it so that it is clear to the reader that HL does not potentially have another abbreviation associated with it. Also link: ApoA-I, VLDL, ApoE. Again avoid the wordiness and make sure that your sentence has a proper subject so that the reader knows which specific mutations, etc. you are referencing. The language you use such as "In the experiment though" is suggestive, a bit informal, and unnecessary. Try to avoid that kind of language.