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The U-Haul lesbian or U-Haul syndrome is a stereotype of lesbian relationships [1] referring to the idea that lesbians tend to move in together after a short period of time (e.g., after the second date). It suggests an extreme inclination toward committed relationships. Depending on context, the term can be considered humorous, complimentary, or pejorative. [2] [3]
A joke which references U-Haul (a brand of self-move rental trucks and trailers) became well known in lesbian culture. [4]
Question: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
Answer: A U-Haul.
It is considered a staple of lesbian humor. [5] It is often attributed to comic Lea DeLaria, [6] [7] who claimed in her 1997 comedy album, Box Lunch, that she had written it in 1989 — in the album, she gets the audience to yell back the punchline, showing it was already well-known at the time of recording. [8]
Reference to a U-Haul later became a stereotype of sexual identity in the gay community. It is sometimes followed or preceded by a standard joke about gay men:
Question: What does a gay man bring on a second date?
Answer: What second date? [9] [8]
The joke is also popular outside the LGBT community. [9]
Psychologists note that the U-Haul joke epitomizes the perceived phenomenon of lesbians to form intense emotional connections, referred to in gay slang as an "urge to merge". [10] Critics of this alleged tendency suggest that it is used by lesbians to avoid the risks involved with dating. [11] In their view, an aversion to the risks of dating is linked to a stunted development of intimate relationships during the teenage years when most gays and lesbians are in the closet. With the freedom of adulthood, lesbians become drawn to U-Haul relationships, appreciating their intensity and intimacy. [12]
Some psychologists also believe that this behavior can be unhealthy. [13] They argue that the short dating-span bypasses serious discussion on many relationship issues prior to moving in (such as sexual compatibility or future expectations) and this can manifest itself in various problems later on. [14]
I had a girl, and I figured after seven days I could trust her, so I moved her into my house. Typical lesbian relationship, huh, women? As perfectly exemplified by the joke I wrote in 1989. Everybody: what does a lesbian bring on a second date? [audience yells back: A U-Haul!] What does a gay man bring on a second date? What second date?
Part of a series on |
Lesbian feminism |
---|
![]() |
![]() |
The U-Haul lesbian or U-Haul syndrome is a stereotype of lesbian relationships [1] referring to the idea that lesbians tend to move in together after a short period of time (e.g., after the second date). It suggests an extreme inclination toward committed relationships. Depending on context, the term can be considered humorous, complimentary, or pejorative. [2] [3]
A joke which references U-Haul (a brand of self-move rental trucks and trailers) became well known in lesbian culture. [4]
Question: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
Answer: A U-Haul.
It is considered a staple of lesbian humor. [5] It is often attributed to comic Lea DeLaria, [6] [7] who claimed in her 1997 comedy album, Box Lunch, that she had written it in 1989 — in the album, she gets the audience to yell back the punchline, showing it was already well-known at the time of recording. [8]
Reference to a U-Haul later became a stereotype of sexual identity in the gay community. It is sometimes followed or preceded by a standard joke about gay men:
Question: What does a gay man bring on a second date?
Answer: What second date? [9] [8]
The joke is also popular outside the LGBT community. [9]
Psychologists note that the U-Haul joke epitomizes the perceived phenomenon of lesbians to form intense emotional connections, referred to in gay slang as an "urge to merge". [10] Critics of this alleged tendency suggest that it is used by lesbians to avoid the risks involved with dating. [11] In their view, an aversion to the risks of dating is linked to a stunted development of intimate relationships during the teenage years when most gays and lesbians are in the closet. With the freedom of adulthood, lesbians become drawn to U-Haul relationships, appreciating their intensity and intimacy. [12]
Some psychologists also believe that this behavior can be unhealthy. [13] They argue that the short dating-span bypasses serious discussion on many relationship issues prior to moving in (such as sexual compatibility or future expectations) and this can manifest itself in various problems later on. [14]
I had a girl, and I figured after seven days I could trust her, so I moved her into my house. Typical lesbian relationship, huh, women? As perfectly exemplified by the joke I wrote in 1989. Everybody: what does a lesbian bring on a second date? [audience yells back: A U-Haul!] What does a gay man bring on a second date? What second date?