From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Balance and focus

G'day, just a note about the balance and focus of this article. WP:NOTEVERYTHING is probably relevant here. It needs greater focus on the main topic, Brown, and currently reads like a history of the 30th Ohio rather than a history of the man. To give you a sense of the level of unit detail expected for a recipient of an equivalent award, see the article on Victoria Cross recipient Lawrence Weathers, which is a FA, despite its short length. Each battle gets a sentence or two (more for the one in which he won the VC), and perhaps mentions the number of casualties the unit suffered in each battle. I suggest summarising some of the military details. There is also some unnecessary family information, like where his daughter's remains were interred, who his nearest relative was, and that his widow was the informant on his death certificate. It needs a sentence explaining why it took thirty years for him to receive the MoH. Cheers, Peacemaker67 ( click to talk to me) 02:01, 9 August 2018 (UTC) reply

  • Thank you for your reassssment to B-class (per your edit summary, "(Milhist B, but if looking to take it to GA, note my comments on the talk page re balance and focus)." Kind Regards. 47thPennVols ( talk) 16:48, 12 August 2018 (UTC) reply
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Balance and focus

G'day, just a note about the balance and focus of this article. WP:NOTEVERYTHING is probably relevant here. It needs greater focus on the main topic, Brown, and currently reads like a history of the 30th Ohio rather than a history of the man. To give you a sense of the level of unit detail expected for a recipient of an equivalent award, see the article on Victoria Cross recipient Lawrence Weathers, which is a FA, despite its short length. Each battle gets a sentence or two (more for the one in which he won the VC), and perhaps mentions the number of casualties the unit suffered in each battle. I suggest summarising some of the military details. There is also some unnecessary family information, like where his daughter's remains were interred, who his nearest relative was, and that his widow was the informant on his death certificate. It needs a sentence explaining why it took thirty years for him to receive the MoH. Cheers, Peacemaker67 ( click to talk to me) 02:01, 9 August 2018 (UTC) reply

  • Thank you for your reassssment to B-class (per your edit summary, "(Milhist B, but if looking to take it to GA, note my comments on the talk page re balance and focus)." Kind Regards. 47thPennVols ( talk) 16:48, 12 August 2018 (UTC) reply

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