From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


Article ( | visual edit | history) · Article talk ( | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk · contribs) 17:05, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply

Hello, here is my review of your article.

Lead

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written? I would change "challenge interference by the executive" to "challenge executive interference"

"Delgado took her grievance to the United Nations, which in 2018 ruled that the State had violated her civil and political rights." I would change "the State" to Bolivia for consistency.

"In 2009, Delgado was elected to represent Cochabamba in the Chamber of Deputies, reaching the presidency of the lower chamber in 2012." I would change this to a sentence that includes the full title of the position and not just a "presidency of the lower chamber"

Change "reelected" to "re-elected"

On hold
Verifiable? The lead should not contain refs, and does not here. Pass
Broad in coverage? Yes. The lead covers her rise into politics, her most prominent political positions, the tension between her and her party, and her final political bid that was controversially blocked. Pass
Neutral? Yes. The lead does not contain any words that would be considered biased, and the lead is neutral in nature. Pass
Stable? No edit wars. Pass
Imagery? The official portrait of Rebeca Delgado on the infobox does not have any licensing issues. Pass

Overall: Pass

Early life

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written? Remove "meanwhile" from the first paragraph. Change "the capital" to La Paz. On hold
Verifiable? The websites and documents used as references are legitimate. Section is consistently sourced. Pass
Broad in coverage? Includes where she was born, her parents' background, her education, and the beginning of her career. Pass
Neutral? No bias. Pass
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? No images, but it would be difficult to find one of Delgado in her youth or early in her professional career. So I will give a pass. Pass

Overall: Pass

Constituent Assembly and Government Official

Decided to combine the two sections when reviewing due to the length.

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written? When styling the possessive form of acronyms ending with S you should add an apostrophe and s at the end. So it should be MAS's not MAS'. On hold
Verifiable? The websites used as references are accurate. Pass
Broad in coverage? Describes her election and tenure in the Constituent Assembly, as well as her time as vice minister. Pass
Neutral? No bias. Pass
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? No images, but there's not much to add in these two sections, so I will give another pass. Pass

Overall: Pass

Chamber of Deputies

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written? See comment from Constituent Assembly and Government Official.

"the government nonetheless demanded that the legislature pass the norm without modifications." is "norm" here supposed to be law/bill/policy?

Change "reelected" to re-elected.

Remove "so-called" when speaking about the "freethinkers"

On hold
Verifiable? Many quality newspaper websites. Pass
Broad in coverage? Covers her election and tenure in the Chamber of Deputies, her time as the president of the Chamber of Deputies, conflict with party, and her faction within MAS. Pass
Neutral? I believe the use of "so-called" when speaking of the "freethinkers" does not make the article neutral. On hold
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? Yes. An official portrait of Delgado in 2014. It is also free to use. Pass

Overall: Pass

Later career and retirement

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written Change "the State" to Bolivia and "Bolivian State" to Bolivian government. On hold
Verifiable Sentences are consistently sourced. Pass
Broad in coverage Covers the aftermath of the MSM's failed performance, the TSE's ruling barring her from becoming mayor, her suing Bolivia, and then retiring. Pass
Neutral? Yes. Pass
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? No. However, it would be difficult to find one relevant to this section that is fair use and/or public domain. Pass

Overall: Pass

Electoral history

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written Yes. Pass
Verifiable Accurate references. Pass
Broad in coverage Covers electoral history. Pass
Neutral? Yes. Pass
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? No, but there doesn't need to be. Pass

Overall: Pass

Overall

I am putting this on hold. The only problems are minor prose issues which should be easy to fix, and one neutrality issue. Once addressed, it will be listed as a good article. Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk) 17:05, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply

All but two queries answered. Two clarifications: For "re-elect" vs "reelect", my understanding is that they're interchangeable, in which case I would be inclined to keep "reelect" for consistency between other created articles. I'd, of course, be obliged to change it anyway if you insist or if one is preferred in the Manual of Style. Second (Lead, Query #3), how would you suggest including the full title? At present, it would become "Delgado was elected to ... the Chamber of Deputies, reaching the presidency of the [Chamber of Deputies] in 2012.", which seems a bit repetitive. Krisgabwoosh ( talk) 20:30, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply
1.) I'll take your word on "re-elect" vs "reelect" because I still can't find information about it on Wikipedia's Manual of Style. It seems like they accept both, so continue to use "reelect" as you were initially doing! My apologies.
2.) Initially, this was my solution:
"In 2009, Delgado was elected to represent Cochabamba in the Chamber of Deputies, and elected president of the Chamber in 2012."
But the more I read it, the more I realized that your original sentence was the better option. However, just for consistency, I think you should indicate how she reached the presidency. Your previous sentence tells us that she was elected to the Chamber of Deputies, but just says she reached the presidency without specification.
Maybe some solutions:
"In 2009, Delgado was elected to represent Cochabamba in the Chamber of Deputies, and elected president of the lower chamber in 2012."
"In 2009, Delgado was elected to represent Cochabamba in the Chamber of Deputies, and elected to the presidency of the lower chamber in 2012."
Tell me what you think. Thanks. Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk) 21:59, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply
Went with option two. Krisgabwoosh ( talk) 23:43, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply
My last comment is about the third paragraph from the President of the Chamber of Deputies subsection of the article. "The government nonetheless demanded that the legislature pass the norm without modifications." I assume norm is the English translation of norma? Given the surrounding context I would use the word "bill" instead. Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk) 01:14, 4 October 2022 (UTC) reply
That's fine. Changed to just "pass it" as the word bill is already present earlier in the sentence. Krisgabwoosh ( talk) 01:28, 4 October 2022 (UTC) reply
Everything looks good. I'll pass the article. Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk) 01:56, 4 October 2022 (UTC) reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


Article ( | visual edit | history) · Article talk ( | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk · contribs) 17:05, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply

Hello, here is my review of your article.

Lead

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written? I would change "challenge interference by the executive" to "challenge executive interference"

"Delgado took her grievance to the United Nations, which in 2018 ruled that the State had violated her civil and political rights." I would change "the State" to Bolivia for consistency.

"In 2009, Delgado was elected to represent Cochabamba in the Chamber of Deputies, reaching the presidency of the lower chamber in 2012." I would change this to a sentence that includes the full title of the position and not just a "presidency of the lower chamber"

Change "reelected" to "re-elected"

On hold
Verifiable? The lead should not contain refs, and does not here. Pass
Broad in coverage? Yes. The lead covers her rise into politics, her most prominent political positions, the tension between her and her party, and her final political bid that was controversially blocked. Pass
Neutral? Yes. The lead does not contain any words that would be considered biased, and the lead is neutral in nature. Pass
Stable? No edit wars. Pass
Imagery? The official portrait of Rebeca Delgado on the infobox does not have any licensing issues. Pass

Overall: Pass

Early life

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written? Remove "meanwhile" from the first paragraph. Change "the capital" to La Paz. On hold
Verifiable? The websites and documents used as references are legitimate. Section is consistently sourced. Pass
Broad in coverage? Includes where she was born, her parents' background, her education, and the beginning of her career. Pass
Neutral? No bias. Pass
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? No images, but it would be difficult to find one of Delgado in her youth or early in her professional career. So I will give a pass. Pass

Overall: Pass

Constituent Assembly and Government Official

Decided to combine the two sections when reviewing due to the length.

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written? When styling the possessive form of acronyms ending with S you should add an apostrophe and s at the end. So it should be MAS's not MAS'. On hold
Verifiable? The websites used as references are accurate. Pass
Broad in coverage? Describes her election and tenure in the Constituent Assembly, as well as her time as vice minister. Pass
Neutral? No bias. Pass
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? No images, but there's not much to add in these two sections, so I will give another pass. Pass

Overall: Pass

Chamber of Deputies

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written? See comment from Constituent Assembly and Government Official.

"the government nonetheless demanded that the legislature pass the norm without modifications." is "norm" here supposed to be law/bill/policy?

Change "reelected" to re-elected.

Remove "so-called" when speaking about the "freethinkers"

On hold
Verifiable? Many quality newspaper websites. Pass
Broad in coverage? Covers her election and tenure in the Chamber of Deputies, her time as the president of the Chamber of Deputies, conflict with party, and her faction within MAS. Pass
Neutral? I believe the use of "so-called" when speaking of the "freethinkers" does not make the article neutral. On hold
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? Yes. An official portrait of Delgado in 2014. It is also free to use. Pass

Overall: Pass

Later career and retirement

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written Change "the State" to Bolivia and "Bolivian State" to Bolivian government. On hold
Verifiable Sentences are consistently sourced. Pass
Broad in coverage Covers the aftermath of the MSM's failed performance, the TSE's ruling barring her from becoming mayor, her suing Bolivia, and then retiring. Pass
Neutral? Yes. Pass
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? No. However, it would be difficult to find one relevant to this section that is fair use and/or public domain. Pass

Overall: Pass

Electoral history

Criteria Remarks Pass/fail
Well-written Yes. Pass
Verifiable Accurate references. Pass
Broad in coverage Covers electoral history. Pass
Neutral? Yes. Pass
Stable? Yes. Pass
Imagery? No, but there doesn't need to be. Pass

Overall: Pass

Overall

I am putting this on hold. The only problems are minor prose issues which should be easy to fix, and one neutrality issue. Once addressed, it will be listed as a good article. Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk) 17:05, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply

All but two queries answered. Two clarifications: For "re-elect" vs "reelect", my understanding is that they're interchangeable, in which case I would be inclined to keep "reelect" for consistency between other created articles. I'd, of course, be obliged to change it anyway if you insist or if one is preferred in the Manual of Style. Second (Lead, Query #3), how would you suggest including the full title? At present, it would become "Delgado was elected to ... the Chamber of Deputies, reaching the presidency of the [Chamber of Deputies] in 2012.", which seems a bit repetitive. Krisgabwoosh ( talk) 20:30, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply
1.) I'll take your word on "re-elect" vs "reelect" because I still can't find information about it on Wikipedia's Manual of Style. It seems like they accept both, so continue to use "reelect" as you were initially doing! My apologies.
2.) Initially, this was my solution:
"In 2009, Delgado was elected to represent Cochabamba in the Chamber of Deputies, and elected president of the Chamber in 2012."
But the more I read it, the more I realized that your original sentence was the better option. However, just for consistency, I think you should indicate how she reached the presidency. Your previous sentence tells us that she was elected to the Chamber of Deputies, but just says she reached the presidency without specification.
Maybe some solutions:
"In 2009, Delgado was elected to represent Cochabamba in the Chamber of Deputies, and elected president of the lower chamber in 2012."
"In 2009, Delgado was elected to represent Cochabamba in the Chamber of Deputies, and elected to the presidency of the lower chamber in 2012."
Tell me what you think. Thanks. Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk) 21:59, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply
Went with option two. Krisgabwoosh ( talk) 23:43, 3 October 2022 (UTC) reply
My last comment is about the third paragraph from the President of the Chamber of Deputies subsection of the article. "The government nonetheless demanded that the legislature pass the norm without modifications." I assume norm is the English translation of norma? Given the surrounding context I would use the word "bill" instead. Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk) 01:14, 4 October 2022 (UTC) reply
That's fine. Changed to just "pass it" as the word bill is already present earlier in the sentence. Krisgabwoosh ( talk) 01:28, 4 October 2022 (UTC) reply
Everything looks good. I'll pass the article. Iamawesomeautomatic ( talk) 01:56, 4 October 2022 (UTC) reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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