The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Vami IV ( talk · contribs) 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
If I have demonstrated incompetence or caused offense, please let me know. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
References are reliable; no cause for concern. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
Spotchecks:
Assuming good faith from here. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
Images are relevant and properly licensed. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
Earwig's scan and inspection thereof turns up no copy-pastes or close paraphrasing. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
Assuming good faith, from spotchecks, that there are no translation copyright violations. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
[...] he later served as vice minister of decolonization [...]Recommend linking to that ministry and capitalizing accordingly.
[...] though he never completed his degree.Recommend "a degree".
National Council of Ayllus and Markas of Qullasuyu [...] National Council of Ayllus and Markaz of QullasuyuSpelling inconsistent.
Despite stating that if nominated, he would accept heading the ticket, Quispe himself admitted that his chances of reaching the country's highest position were negligible.I suggest a shorter, more clinical sentence here, and then using it springboard into the next sentence.
However, Quispe rejected the nomination, maintaining that he was unwilling to be the running mate of someone "who did not fight for the demands of the country's indigenous movement".Direct quotations need to be immediately followed with an in-line citation of the source.
[...] made him a well-known and equally contentious figure.Recommend deleting "equally" here; it adds nothing.
The oral trial against Quispe was installed [...]Installed?
Quispe failed to attend the hearing three times, declaring that "the court not to waste my time", [...]Feels wonky; reword?
[...] leaders of the Red Ponchos [...]Who? On this note, it'd be a good idea to introduce the newspapers as they're mentioned in the prose ("...[Bolivian] newspaper La Razon...").
In response, Quispe dawned his own black poncho [...]The correct homonym is "donned".
In response, Quispe dawned his own black poncho, challenging the militiamen to a whip duel; "they want to whip me..." [...]Recommend: "In response, Quispe, wearing a black poncho, challenged the militiamen to a whip duel, saying, "they want to whip me...""
"We are going to reconstitute the Indigenous Fund ... so that it serves the true aboriginal indigenous peasant, the ayllus, the markas, and the communities", he stated.Superfluous.
[...] returning home to graze his goats "because goats are loyal".Recommend "herd his goats".
Quispe is married to Rocío Patty, with whom he has lived in El Alto for over twenty years, together with their two children, [...]It is inadvisable to mention a subject's children (especially in a BLP, especially especially a politician's) by name unless they are independently notable.
[...] with he himself continuing to make an income working as a service driver during that time.Recommend "while he continued working as a service driver."
Good Article review progress box
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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
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history) ·
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Reviewer: Vami IV ( talk · contribs) 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
If I have demonstrated incompetence or caused offense, please let me know. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
References are reliable; no cause for concern. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
Spotchecks:
Assuming good faith from here. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
Images are relevant and properly licensed. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
Earwig's scan and inspection thereof turns up no copy-pastes or close paraphrasing. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
Assuming good faith, from spotchecks, that there are no translation copyright violations. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠ 18:30, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
[...] he later served as vice minister of decolonization [...]Recommend linking to that ministry and capitalizing accordingly.
[...] though he never completed his degree.Recommend "a degree".
National Council of Ayllus and Markas of Qullasuyu [...] National Council of Ayllus and Markaz of QullasuyuSpelling inconsistent.
Despite stating that if nominated, he would accept heading the ticket, Quispe himself admitted that his chances of reaching the country's highest position were negligible.I suggest a shorter, more clinical sentence here, and then using it springboard into the next sentence.
However, Quispe rejected the nomination, maintaining that he was unwilling to be the running mate of someone "who did not fight for the demands of the country's indigenous movement".Direct quotations need to be immediately followed with an in-line citation of the source.
[...] made him a well-known and equally contentious figure.Recommend deleting "equally" here; it adds nothing.
The oral trial against Quispe was installed [...]Installed?
Quispe failed to attend the hearing three times, declaring that "the court not to waste my time", [...]Feels wonky; reword?
[...] leaders of the Red Ponchos [...]Who? On this note, it'd be a good idea to introduce the newspapers as they're mentioned in the prose ("...[Bolivian] newspaper La Razon...").
In response, Quispe dawned his own black poncho [...]The correct homonym is "donned".
In response, Quispe dawned his own black poncho, challenging the militiamen to a whip duel; "they want to whip me..." [...]Recommend: "In response, Quispe, wearing a black poncho, challenged the militiamen to a whip duel, saying, "they want to whip me...""
"We are going to reconstitute the Indigenous Fund ... so that it serves the true aboriginal indigenous peasant, the ayllus, the markas, and the communities", he stated.Superfluous.
[...] returning home to graze his goats "because goats are loyal".Recommend "herd his goats".
Quispe is married to Rocío Patty, with whom he has lived in El Alto for over twenty years, together with their two children, [...]It is inadvisable to mention a subject's children (especially in a BLP, especially especially a politician's) by name unless they are independently notable.
[...] with he himself continuing to make an income working as a service driver during that time.Recommend "while he continued working as a service driver."
Good Article review progress box
|