The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien ( talk · contribs) 00:02, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll have a review for this within the next day or two.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 00:02, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
Sebbirrrr, the review is posted below. There are some issues that need to be resolved before this can be considered a GA. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 06:37, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
- @
Thebiguglyalien: Thank you for reviewing my nomination. I've resolved some of the issues and left comments for the rest. Cheers,
Sebbirrrr (
talk) 21:06, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
-
Sebbirrrr, looks good. Everything is addressed except for the places that I replied below.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- @
Thebiguglyalien: I've replied to and addressed your remaining concerns. Thanks,
Sebbirrrr (
talk) 21:25, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
- @ Thebiguglyalien: I addressed your final concern. Let me know if everything is alright now. Cheers, Sebbirrrr ( talk) 19:57, 28 August 2023 (UTC)
- @
Thebiguglyalien: I've replied to and addressed your remaining concerns. Thanks,
Sebbirrrr (
talk) 21:25, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
-
Sebbirrrr, looks good. Everything is addressed except for the places that I replied below.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
Well-written
Lead:
Before she was signed to the aforementioned label, Jenkins performed at various establishments.
– This doesn't really say anything and probably isn't important enough for the lead.- I believe it adds to her background. Otherwise we'd be left with
Her producer sent demos he had worked on with her to several labels, and she signed with Big Machine
which seems out of place
- I believe it adds to her background. Otherwise we'd be left with
Music critics commented on Jenkins's vocal delivery.
– This doesn't tell the reader anything. The next sentence says the same thing, but gives more information.- Removed
Background:
- I know
identity document
is technically the correct term, but it doesn't feel like natural English.- I'm not sure how else to reword it as the source calls it that. Maybe something like "she performed under different identities", although it may sound weird
- Yeah, the only thing I can think of is "using fake IDs", but that might go the other way and be too informal. I'll leave it to you what you think the best wording is.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- I think identity document is alright to use
- Yeah, the only thing I can think of is "using fake IDs", but that might go the other way and be too informal. I'll leave it to you what you think the best wording is.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- I'm not sure how else to reword it as the source calls it that. Maybe something like "she performed under different identities", although it may sound weird
She also attempted to perform
– "Attempted to" implies that she failed. In this case, a wording closer to the source might be appropriate, or maybe something like "she sought out coffee shops and airports where she could perform".- Reworded to your suggestion
Jenkins stated that the album consisted of songs
... – Would this fit better as a description of the music in the section below?- It does. Moved it below
Reuter noted that her "passion for storytelling"
– This is Reuter's opinion, but "noted" presents it as a fact ( MOS:SAID). Also, it might fit better with the other critics' opinions.- Replaced "noted". It seems more like a comment to me
she took photos
– Unclear how the photos related to the packaging- They were included in the packaging
- That still leaves some questions unanswered. Were they portraits of Jenkins? Pictures of the studio and the instruments? Vacation pics? And where were they? Were they part of the album cover art? Were they loose Polaroids scattered in the packaging? This sort of info is helpful for context in the article, otherwise the reader is left wondering.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
-
They are photos of Jenkins which were printed on the booklet with the lyrics. I wasn't sure how to word this as the mention of her handwritten lyrics (which are scattered around the booklet) could make it confusing
- How about "the packaging was decorated with Jenkins' hand-written lyrics and with photos that she took" or something similar to that?
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:47, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
- That works, thanks
- How about "the packaging was decorated with Jenkins' hand-written lyrics and with photos that she took" or something similar to that?
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:47, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
-
They are photos of Jenkins which were printed on the booklet with the lyrics. I wasn't sure how to word this as the mention of her handwritten lyrics (which are scattered around the booklet) could make it confusing
- That still leaves some questions unanswered. Were they portraits of Jenkins? Pictures of the studio and the instruments? Vacation pics? And where were they? Were they part of the album cover art? Were they loose Polaroids scattered in the packaging? This sort of info is helpful for context in the article, otherwise the reader is left wondering.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- They were included in the packaging
Music and lyrics:
labeled the album's sound as one which comprises
– Unnecessarily wordy- Reworded
main themes are drinking alcohol, romance, and self-doubt
– This could be read as saying the themes are drinking alcohol, drinking romance, and drinking self-doubt. It's not really clear how "drinking alcohol" is a theme, since that's just an action. Also, this sentence seems randomly stuck in, as it has nothing to do with the sentences before or after it and no attempt is made to connect them.- Moved it in the paragraph below. She mentions drinking in some of the songs so I think it should be included, otherwise the sources wouldn't have mentioned it as a "theme" (yes I think it's odd but it looks like it was considered a theme)
- Would it still represent the sources if it just said "alcohol" as a theme instead of "drinking alcohol"? A noun sounds more natural than a verb here.
- Amended
- Would it still represent the sources if it just said "alcohol" as a theme instead of "drinking alcohol"? A noun sounds more natural than a verb here.
- Moved it in the paragraph below. She mentions drinking in some of the songs so I think it should be included, otherwise the sources wouldn't have mentioned it as a "theme" (yes I think it's odd but it looks like it was considered a theme)
- Does the production info belong under "music and lyrics"? It should probably be in its own "production" section. It could also be combined with the release information and maybe the promotion information into a single "production and release" section.
- I don't think there's much to say about the production (see below), nor about the release
A Taste of Country reviewer assimilated it
– Swap "assimilated". "Compared" is fine.- Done
whom Jenkins observes ruining themselves through drugs and alcohol
– Can this be reworded?- I tried but I'm not sure how to reword it
- "observes ruining themselves" doesn't read naturally, but I also can't think of any better alternatives. Up to you if you want to change it to anything.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- Yeah, I can't think of anything either
- "observes ruining themselves" doesn't read naturally, but I also can't think of any better alternatives. Up to you if you want to change it to anything.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- I tried but I'm not sure how to reword it
Promotion:
On the same day as Jenkins's album's release date was announced,
– Reword- Removed entirely as it seems trivial
made available the single "Maker's Mark and You"
– Change to "released the single" or "made the single Maker's Mark and You available"- Reworded to the latter
Reception:
AllMusic's Stephen Thomas Erlewine noted that Jenkins's voice
– Uses "noted" to describe an opinion- Replaced
and distinctive "at times" on the album
– Unclear what this means- Reworded, I put "at times" in the wrong place
affirmed that Jenkins ignored all rules about what country music is
– "Affirmed" suggests it's a fact the same way "noted" does.- Replaced
- Verifiable with no original research
AllMusic's reliability is disputed. The critics' reviews posted on it are fine, but for other things a better source would be preferred if possible. All other sources appear to be reliable.
Spot checks:
- [1] Dauphin (2014)
- [5] Hollabaugh (2018)
- [11] Horowitz (2019):
Her vocal delivery was compared to that of singers Sheryl Crow and Stevie Nicks
– This is the author's opinion and should be attributed in-text.- Added
She struggles to forgive her lover for their wrongdoings
– Does this source add anything here that the other two don't already cover? Since neither of the quotes are in this source, it just makes verification trickier.- It doesn't, my bad
The latter is a mid-tempo ballad which, according to Billboard's Annie Reuter
– If it's attributed to Reuter, then why is it also cited to Horowitz?- I combined what Horowitz said (he called it a mid-tempo ballad) with Reuter's statement. I thought that having two sentences for a song would be an overkill but let me know if the way it is now is confusing
was composed for a family member
– This source says "friend".- Changed to "someone" as it's not clear
- [15] Rhodes (2019):
- Same as with Horowitz, neither of those quotes are in this source, so does it need to be here?
- Which quotes are you referring to?
- I meant to refer to the same
She struggles to forgive her lover for their wrongdoings
line. You removed Horowitz, but can Rhodes be removed as well? Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)- I think it should be kept as it talks about the
unable to forgive someone for their transgressions
bit which I don't think the other source clearly states
- I think it should be kept as it talks about the
- I meant to refer to the same
- Which quotes are you referring to?
- Not sure if this verifies the bit about "My Bar".
- It verifies the bit about Jenkins frequenting the bar
- Same as with Horowitz, neither of those quotes are in this source, so does it need to be here?
- [18] Moss (2019)
- Broad in its coverage
There's very little about the album's production. Can more be found about the processes of writing and recording the album?
- Unfortunately not. The only thing I could identify is the part where Jenkins talks about how old/new the songs are...
Neutral
No ideas are given undue weight.
- Stable
No recent disputes.
- Illustrated
The album cover has a valid non-free use rationale.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien ( talk · contribs) 00:02, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll have a review for this within the next day or two.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 00:02, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
Sebbirrrr, the review is posted below. There are some issues that need to be resolved before this can be considered a GA. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 06:37, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
- @
Thebiguglyalien: Thank you for reviewing my nomination. I've resolved some of the issues and left comments for the rest. Cheers,
Sebbirrrr (
talk) 21:06, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
-
Sebbirrrr, looks good. Everything is addressed except for the places that I replied below.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- @
Thebiguglyalien: I've replied to and addressed your remaining concerns. Thanks,
Sebbirrrr (
talk) 21:25, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
- @ Thebiguglyalien: I addressed your final concern. Let me know if everything is alright now. Cheers, Sebbirrrr ( talk) 19:57, 28 August 2023 (UTC)
- @
Thebiguglyalien: I've replied to and addressed your remaining concerns. Thanks,
Sebbirrrr (
talk) 21:25, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
-
Sebbirrrr, looks good. Everything is addressed except for the places that I replied below.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- Well-written
Lead:
Before she was signed to the aforementioned label, Jenkins performed at various establishments.
– This doesn't really say anything and probably isn't important enough for the lead.- I believe it adds to her background. Otherwise we'd be left with
Her producer sent demos he had worked on with her to several labels, and she signed with Big Machine
which seems out of place
- I believe it adds to her background. Otherwise we'd be left with
Music critics commented on Jenkins's vocal delivery.
– This doesn't tell the reader anything. The next sentence says the same thing, but gives more information.- Removed
Background:
- I know
identity document
is technically the correct term, but it doesn't feel like natural English.- I'm not sure how else to reword it as the source calls it that. Maybe something like "she performed under different identities", although it may sound weird
- Yeah, the only thing I can think of is "using fake IDs", but that might go the other way and be too informal. I'll leave it to you what you think the best wording is.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- I think identity document is alright to use
- Yeah, the only thing I can think of is "using fake IDs", but that might go the other way and be too informal. I'll leave it to you what you think the best wording is.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- I'm not sure how else to reword it as the source calls it that. Maybe something like "she performed under different identities", although it may sound weird
She also attempted to perform
– "Attempted to" implies that she failed. In this case, a wording closer to the source might be appropriate, or maybe something like "she sought out coffee shops and airports where she could perform".- Reworded to your suggestion
Jenkins stated that the album consisted of songs
... – Would this fit better as a description of the music in the section below?- It does. Moved it below
Reuter noted that her "passion for storytelling"
– This is Reuter's opinion, but "noted" presents it as a fact ( MOS:SAID). Also, it might fit better with the other critics' opinions.- Replaced "noted". It seems more like a comment to me
she took photos
– Unclear how the photos related to the packaging- They were included in the packaging
- That still leaves some questions unanswered. Were they portraits of Jenkins? Pictures of the studio and the instruments? Vacation pics? And where were they? Were they part of the album cover art? Were they loose Polaroids scattered in the packaging? This sort of info is helpful for context in the article, otherwise the reader is left wondering.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
-
They are photos of Jenkins which were printed on the booklet with the lyrics. I wasn't sure how to word this as the mention of her handwritten lyrics (which are scattered around the booklet) could make it confusing
- How about "the packaging was decorated with Jenkins' hand-written lyrics and with photos that she took" or something similar to that?
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:47, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
- That works, thanks
- How about "the packaging was decorated with Jenkins' hand-written lyrics and with photos that she took" or something similar to that?
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:47, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
-
They are photos of Jenkins which were printed on the booklet with the lyrics. I wasn't sure how to word this as the mention of her handwritten lyrics (which are scattered around the booklet) could make it confusing
- That still leaves some questions unanswered. Were they portraits of Jenkins? Pictures of the studio and the instruments? Vacation pics? And where were they? Were they part of the album cover art? Were they loose Polaroids scattered in the packaging? This sort of info is helpful for context in the article, otherwise the reader is left wondering.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- They were included in the packaging
Music and lyrics:
labeled the album's sound as one which comprises
– Unnecessarily wordy- Reworded
main themes are drinking alcohol, romance, and self-doubt
– This could be read as saying the themes are drinking alcohol, drinking romance, and drinking self-doubt. It's not really clear how "drinking alcohol" is a theme, since that's just an action. Also, this sentence seems randomly stuck in, as it has nothing to do with the sentences before or after it and no attempt is made to connect them.- Moved it in the paragraph below. She mentions drinking in some of the songs so I think it should be included, otherwise the sources wouldn't have mentioned it as a "theme" (yes I think it's odd but it looks like it was considered a theme)
- Would it still represent the sources if it just said "alcohol" as a theme instead of "drinking alcohol"? A noun sounds more natural than a verb here.
- Amended
- Would it still represent the sources if it just said "alcohol" as a theme instead of "drinking alcohol"? A noun sounds more natural than a verb here.
- Moved it in the paragraph below. She mentions drinking in some of the songs so I think it should be included, otherwise the sources wouldn't have mentioned it as a "theme" (yes I think it's odd but it looks like it was considered a theme)
- Does the production info belong under "music and lyrics"? It should probably be in its own "production" section. It could also be combined with the release information and maybe the promotion information into a single "production and release" section.
- I don't think there's much to say about the production (see below), nor about the release
A Taste of Country reviewer assimilated it
– Swap "assimilated". "Compared" is fine.- Done
whom Jenkins observes ruining themselves through drugs and alcohol
– Can this be reworded?- I tried but I'm not sure how to reword it
- "observes ruining themselves" doesn't read naturally, but I also can't think of any better alternatives. Up to you if you want to change it to anything.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- Yeah, I can't think of anything either
- "observes ruining themselves" doesn't read naturally, but I also can't think of any better alternatives. Up to you if you want to change it to anything.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
- I tried but I'm not sure how to reword it
Promotion:
On the same day as Jenkins's album's release date was announced,
– Reword- Removed entirely as it seems trivial
made available the single "Maker's Mark and You"
– Change to "released the single" or "made the single Maker's Mark and You available"- Reworded to the latter
Reception:
AllMusic's Stephen Thomas Erlewine noted that Jenkins's voice
– Uses "noted" to describe an opinion- Replaced
and distinctive "at times" on the album
– Unclear what this means- Reworded, I put "at times" in the wrong place
affirmed that Jenkins ignored all rules about what country music is
– "Affirmed" suggests it's a fact the same way "noted" does.- Replaced
- Verifiable with no original research
AllMusic's reliability is disputed. The critics' reviews posted on it are fine, but for other things a better source would be preferred if possible. All other sources appear to be reliable.
Spot checks:
- [1] Dauphin (2014)
- [5] Hollabaugh (2018)
- [11] Horowitz (2019):
Her vocal delivery was compared to that of singers Sheryl Crow and Stevie Nicks
– This is the author's opinion and should be attributed in-text.- Added
She struggles to forgive her lover for their wrongdoings
– Does this source add anything here that the other two don't already cover? Since neither of the quotes are in this source, it just makes verification trickier.- It doesn't, my bad
The latter is a mid-tempo ballad which, according to Billboard's Annie Reuter
– If it's attributed to Reuter, then why is it also cited to Horowitz?- I combined what Horowitz said (he called it a mid-tempo ballad) with Reuter's statement. I thought that having two sentences for a song would be an overkill but let me know if the way it is now is confusing
was composed for a family member
– This source says "friend".- Changed to "someone" as it's not clear
- [15] Rhodes (2019):
- Same as with Horowitz, neither of those quotes are in this source, so does it need to be here?
- Which quotes are you referring to?
- I meant to refer to the same
She struggles to forgive her lover for their wrongdoings
line. You removed Horowitz, but can Rhodes be removed as well? Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 21:24, 26 August 2023 (UTC)- I think it should be kept as it talks about the
unable to forgive someone for their transgressions
bit which I don't think the other source clearly states
- I think it should be kept as it talks about the
- I meant to refer to the same
- Which quotes are you referring to?
- Not sure if this verifies the bit about "My Bar".
- It verifies the bit about Jenkins frequenting the bar
- Same as with Horowitz, neither of those quotes are in this source, so does it need to be here?
- [18] Moss (2019)
- Broad in its coverage
There's very little about the album's production. Can more be found about the processes of writing and recording the album?
- Unfortunately not. The only thing I could identify is the part where Jenkins talks about how old/new the songs are...
- Neutral
No ideas are given undue weight.
- Stable
No recent disputes.
- Illustrated
The album cover has a valid non-free use rationale.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.