The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien ( talk · contribs) 17:33, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll have a review posted for this within the next day or two.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 17:33, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
11JORN, the review is posted below. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 02:17, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
Lead:
Background:
she wanted to work on an album– This doesn't really tell us anything. It can just say she hadn't decided whether to release the next album in Spanish or English.
the singer wanted to release its follow-up– Again, this is just telling us that she wanted to make an album, but we already know that she makes albums.
This would be her first since Dónde Están los Ladrones? (1998)– Her first what? Her first Spanish language album? Her first English/Spanish project?
a little girl but a giant woman who lives madly in love with her dreams and this song is not only an anecdote that proves that the obsession is the proof of love towards the characters of her songs– Are you sure this is an accurate translation? It's meandering and it doesn't make sense in some parts.
Recording and composition:
According to Shakira herself,– This doesn't need to say "herself".
you better keep all that to another dog with that bone and we say goodbye– This doesn't sound right.
Critical response:
Spence D. from IGN noted that– Avoid "noted" for opinions. It can make it sound like we're saying he's right.
Music video:
Shakira declared that she really liked his work, and as she felt he was "a very sensitive man and he lived in Spain".– This doesn't make sense in this context.
the priest gave her the go-ahead– Informal
From that moment on, they remember things the pair had done– "From that moment on" doesn't make sense here.
All sources appear reliable. A better source than an Amazon page would be preferred to confirm its German release, but it's not that important.
Sanz' new girlfriend's apartment– How do we know she's a "new girlfriend"?
she cries when she starts cutting the onions, but he does not know it– How do we know what he knows?
while Shakira reveals her alter-ego dancing erotically on the building's roof– What does this mean? How do we know that it's her "alter-ego"?
covered with black paint– Is it paint? At least one of the sources I checked called it something else.
Spot checks:
The song ends as she finally leaves him, despite his pleas, by saying she will not cry over himis copied almost exactly from the source.
The "Background" section goes into a lot of detail about the entire album. A few sentences explaining the album is fine, but this article should mostly be about the song. Most of this belongs on the article Fijación Oral, Vol. 1. This section also has a lot of information about the recording and release, which should be in their own sections. This section should be about things before they started recording.
No ideas are given undue weight.
No recent disputes.
Both of the non-free images and the non-free sound file have valid non-free use rationales. All other images are Creative Commons. All images have relevant captions. There's no exact rule for when an image is relevant and I'm not going to count it against the review, but I'm not sure about the relevance of an image of Enrique Iglesias, who's only mentioned in passing.
Alex reach me! 16:51, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
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history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien ( talk · contribs) 17:33, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll have a review posted for this within the next day or two.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 17:33, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
11JORN, the review is posted below. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 02:17, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
Lead:
Background:
she wanted to work on an album– This doesn't really tell us anything. It can just say she hadn't decided whether to release the next album in Spanish or English.
the singer wanted to release its follow-up– Again, this is just telling us that she wanted to make an album, but we already know that she makes albums.
This would be her first since Dónde Están los Ladrones? (1998)– Her first what? Her first Spanish language album? Her first English/Spanish project?
a little girl but a giant woman who lives madly in love with her dreams and this song is not only an anecdote that proves that the obsession is the proof of love towards the characters of her songs– Are you sure this is an accurate translation? It's meandering and it doesn't make sense in some parts.
Recording and composition:
According to Shakira herself,– This doesn't need to say "herself".
you better keep all that to another dog with that bone and we say goodbye– This doesn't sound right.
Critical response:
Spence D. from IGN noted that– Avoid "noted" for opinions. It can make it sound like we're saying he's right.
Music video:
Shakira declared that she really liked his work, and as she felt he was "a very sensitive man and he lived in Spain".– This doesn't make sense in this context.
the priest gave her the go-ahead– Informal
From that moment on, they remember things the pair had done– "From that moment on" doesn't make sense here.
All sources appear reliable. A better source than an Amazon page would be preferred to confirm its German release, but it's not that important.
Sanz' new girlfriend's apartment– How do we know she's a "new girlfriend"?
she cries when she starts cutting the onions, but he does not know it– How do we know what he knows?
while Shakira reveals her alter-ego dancing erotically on the building's roof– What does this mean? How do we know that it's her "alter-ego"?
covered with black paint– Is it paint? At least one of the sources I checked called it something else.
Spot checks:
The song ends as she finally leaves him, despite his pleas, by saying she will not cry over himis copied almost exactly from the source.
The "Background" section goes into a lot of detail about the entire album. A few sentences explaining the album is fine, but this article should mostly be about the song. Most of this belongs on the article Fijación Oral, Vol. 1. This section also has a lot of information about the recording and release, which should be in their own sections. This section should be about things before they started recording.
No ideas are given undue weight.
No recent disputes.
Both of the non-free images and the non-free sound file have valid non-free use rationales. All other images are Creative Commons. All images have relevant captions. There's no exact rule for when an image is relevant and I'm not going to count it against the review, but I'm not sure about the relevance of an image of Enrique Iglesias, who's only mentioned in passing.
Alex reach me! 16:51, 26 August 2023 (UTC)