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I will take a look at this one, comments to follow in due course.
Zawed (
talk) 06:44, 2 December 2023 (UTC)reply
Comments
Lead
served as a junior officer in the English Channel...: suggest "served as a junior officer on ships in the"
Added.
captured the pirate Zaragozana.: suggest "captured the pirate ship Zaragozana." I was wondering who Zaragozana was and why his name was italicised until I clicked on the link!
Added.
Military career
Junior officer
to India to take up post as...: suggest "to India to take up his post as"
Added.
serving with Capel off: who/what is Capel? or is Endymion meant? (Doing spot checks on sourcing I see that Capel was commander of Endymion, so that needs to be added for antecedence)
Remnant of a previous rendition in which I named most of the commanders of the ships Roberts served in. Removed for consistency.
I can't recall if it is a thing for you or not, but the cites for the final paragraph are in reverse order
Switched.
Command
Having walked inland about 50 miles (80 km) by 22 February, ... and chose to return to Shearwater, arriving back on the following day.: can I have a fact check on this; as I read this, I make the "following day" 23 Feb) so this means they walked 80km in a day? Also delete the italicised 'on'
Double checked, and this should read 23 February: "Feb. 23rd. We still travelled forward, being now afraid to stop lest we should he affected with cramp. At daylight we arrived on the seacoast. In a few hours after we came in sight of the ship, and arrived on board about seven a.m. quite knocked up, having travelled these last twenty-four hours, with scarcely any rest, upwards of fifty miles."
The lead mentions a promotion to post-captain, but that is not mentioned here. The links for this rank and captain are distinct from each other, so should this distinction be carried through here?
Changed.
Personal
The couple went on to have children together.: is there a missing number there?
Nope! Source only says "they had issue".
Other stuff
Sources look reliable albeit some quite dated
Spot checks of sources (O'Byrne) (Marshall 1830)
No dupe links
Image tags OK
That's my comments done for now.
Zawed (
talk) 09:03, 4 December 2023 (UTC)reply
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to
join the project and
contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the
documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles
This article is within the scope of the Military history WikiProject. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the project and see a
list of open tasks. To use this banner, please see the
full instructions.Military historyWikipedia:WikiProject Military historyTemplate:WikiProject Military historymilitary history articles
I will take a look at this one, comments to follow in due course.
Zawed (
talk) 06:44, 2 December 2023 (UTC)reply
Comments
Lead
served as a junior officer in the English Channel...: suggest "served as a junior officer on ships in the"
Added.
captured the pirate Zaragozana.: suggest "captured the pirate ship Zaragozana." I was wondering who Zaragozana was and why his name was italicised until I clicked on the link!
Added.
Military career
Junior officer
to India to take up post as...: suggest "to India to take up his post as"
Added.
serving with Capel off: who/what is Capel? or is Endymion meant? (Doing spot checks on sourcing I see that Capel was commander of Endymion, so that needs to be added for antecedence)
Remnant of a previous rendition in which I named most of the commanders of the ships Roberts served in. Removed for consistency.
I can't recall if it is a thing for you or not, but the cites for the final paragraph are in reverse order
Switched.
Command
Having walked inland about 50 miles (80 km) by 22 February, ... and chose to return to Shearwater, arriving back on the following day.: can I have a fact check on this; as I read this, I make the "following day" 23 Feb) so this means they walked 80km in a day? Also delete the italicised 'on'
Double checked, and this should read 23 February: "Feb. 23rd. We still travelled forward, being now afraid to stop lest we should he affected with cramp. At daylight we arrived on the seacoast. In a few hours after we came in sight of the ship, and arrived on board about seven a.m. quite knocked up, having travelled these last twenty-four hours, with scarcely any rest, upwards of fifty miles."
The lead mentions a promotion to post-captain, but that is not mentioned here. The links for this rank and captain are distinct from each other, so should this distinction be carried through here?
Changed.
Personal
The couple went on to have children together.: is there a missing number there?
Nope! Source only says "they had issue".
Other stuff
Sources look reliable albeit some quite dated
Spot checks of sources (O'Byrne) (Marshall 1830)
No dupe links
Image tags OK
That's my comments done for now.
Zawed (
talk) 09:03, 4 December 2023 (UTC)reply