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Hello,
Yellow Evan, I will be reviewing
Hurricane Calvin (1993), a relatively rare landfalling July hurricane. As you've said yourself, due to my thoroughness in these reviews, please treat this as a mini-
FAC. That being said, please do not dismiss errors as outside the scope of
WP:WIAGA; since you said that you aren't planning any FACs soon, the qualms that you do not fix will most likely never be fixed. As always, thanks in advance. As general reminders, remember to add non-breaking spaces between numbers and their identifiers, and metric conversions for units, where possible. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Lead
"Continued strengthening occurred as Calvin turned northward, after originally heading westward. As Calvin was turning northward..." → This is all a back and forth section of prose that can be very easily simplified. Suggest changing to "Continued strengthening ensued as Calvin curved from its initial westward track northward, and was upgraded to a hurricane on July 6."
You use 'Calvin' in the lead not once, twice, three times, [...] but an astounding eleven times! Consider using syllables like 'tropical cyclone', 'storm', 'hurricane', etc.
"Most of the casualties were due to
flooding or
car accidents." → Why did you link flooding here and not the last sentence? Normally we link the first instance of such nouns to be linked. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In an average July, a high pressure system is located over Texas, preventing landfall in Mexico." → Two things here. First, link high pressure system to the appropriate article page. Secondly, specify landfall by saying 'tropical cyclone landfalls', after all, landfall can apply to a number of storms and has other applications.
"However, a trough steered Calvin northward to hit Mexico as a hurricane in the month of July," → First, link
trough. Second, we get it. Since you included climatological information for the month of July in the previous sentence and in the lead, I know for sure that everyone knows that Calvin occurred in July, so you should say something along the lines of 'as a hurricane that month.
Then, it can be implied as Calvin is one of 3 MX cane landfalls.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Reference No. 1 says nothing about the climatological July, nor does it mention anything about the trough that was just indicated in the previous sentence.
The new reference still does not indicate that a high-pressure area is usually present over the Southwestern United States. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Now that I read the following clause, it's apparent that the first part of the background needs reworking. I've provided the suggested wording as follows – "However, an anomalous trough steered Calvin northward to hit Mexico, making Calvin one of three
Pacific hurricanes to strike the nation during July since
record keeping began in
1949."
And I know I provided suggested wording on that last bullet, but if you wanted to reword it yourself, keep in mind that HURDAT did not begin keeping records in 1949. HURDAT was created in 1976, but data since 1949 has been kept in it. Make sure you make that clear.
what does that have to do with anything? Record were kept in 1949, just no database was created.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
The wording still means that HURDAT was created in 1949, and has been keeping records since then. You need to be more specific and say that record keeping began in 1949, not that HURDAT began then.
No, it does not. It implies that record have been kept in 1949. You just wanna give me extra comments :p
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Reference No. 2 says nothing about anything it supposedly sources. The word 'Calvin' (or Eugene for that matter) is not even mentioned once in the associated PDF. The only thing in the PDF that might source the information is just a map with dots and lines, and no names. I do not see how that is helpful and sourceful. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Wrong. It gives a table of hurricane strike, and shows the ones in July.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Could you give me the page number? I'm not finding it. Also, since you're only using a select number of pages you ought to specify the |pages= parameter of the reference. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
This is not FAC. Can you trust me for once?
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Meteorological history
"Despite the lacks of concentrated convection..." → Only use the plural form of 'lack' in the present tense. In this case, and pretty much in all uses you'll use on Wikipedia, use 'lack'.
It's a simple mistake! No need to waste your time being so through! I'm not dumb :P
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"...the system was classified using the
Dvorak Technique..." → Again, common nomenclature would have 'technique' decapitalized.
Done. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"...a tool used to measure a
tropical cyclones intensity." → Since we're talking about possessives, it should be tropical cyclone's, the possessive form, and not the plural, 'tropical cyclones'.
"...while centered approximately 275 mi (443 km) southeast of
Acapulco." → 275 nautical miles (as stated in the report) is not 275 miles. To be specific, 275 nautical miles is roughly equal to 315 miles. Be careful, nautical miles are not equivalent to miles.
Changed. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"Initially, the storm was expected to stay offshore and attain winds of 60 mph (95 km/h)*." → The discussion that cites this part (Reference No. 3) forecasts for 60 knot winds, not 60 mph winds. Please do not assume that such measurements are equivalent next time.
It's a brain fart! Don;t you know me by now TAM :P 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"...and banding-type
eye formed in association with Calvin later that day." → First off, it's a banding-type eye. Secondly, Reference No. 4 does say an eye formed, but never specifies that it was a banding-type one. I think you mean to have Reference No. 1 there, since that does specify the banding eye.
"Later that day, the NHC reported that Tropical Storm Calvin had attained winds of 65 mph (105 km/h)*." → Since you use the subject/predicate combination of 'the NHC reported', you should have the associated advisory discussion in which the NHC reported that winds attained such intensity. If you want to just keep the EPAC HURDAT there, that's fine, but remove 'the NHC reported that'.
"Continuing to intensify, the system was upgraded to a hurricane at 0000 UTC on July 6 while becoming the second hurricane of the season..." → Three things here. First of all, Calvin did not become a hurricane while in the process of becoming the second hurricane of the season, it intensified into a hurricane and as such became the second hurricane of the season. Secondly, Reference No. 4 does not back this up, I think you need Reference No. 1 and the EPAC HURDAT reference for this one. Also, you should add a comma after 'season'.
Disagreed on the first, but did the last two.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
I'm still a bit iffy that you ignored the first qualm but I'll let it slide for today. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"...of a large,
monsoon-like deep-layer-mean..." → Since the report specified that it was a monsoon-like deep-layer-mean cyclonic circulation, this should not link to anticyclone, which suggests anticyclonic rotation.
Fair enough; part of that issue had to do with the face that I have no idea what a deep-layer-mean is. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
...and upon reading the next clause of this sentence I was completely confused because the second clause ends at an abrupt stop that would appear truncated at first glance. Allow me to revise it for you – "Around that time, Hurricane Calvin was embedded within the northeastern part of a large, monsoon-like deep-layer-mean cyclonic circulation, which stretched from the
Intertropical Convergence Zone to the southwest Mexican coastline."
Decline, I don't use semi-colons enough. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
That doesn't make it not wrong. The sentence suggests that Calvin's circulation center stretched from the ITCZ to Mexico, but it was the deep layer mean's cyclonic circulation that did such a feat. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"its" is not deep-layer mean, that should be clear.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Furthermore, Calvin was a fairly large cyclone as surface winds of 35 mph (55 km/h)* were reported nearly 200 mi (320 km) from the storm's center." → Two things. First off, 200 nautical miles ≠ 200 miles. Secondly, everything in this paragraph that seems to source the second page of the TCR is pointing to the incorrect page. So far we should've only been sourcing Reference No. 1.
"Shortly after becoming a hurricane, Calvin developed an
eye-like feature." → If this is the first time, what was the fuss about the banding-eye feature in the first sentence of the second paragraph?
"During the later morning hours of July 6, Calvin briefly slowed down before quickly accelerating to the northwest, bringing Calvin's center of circulation 90 mi (140 km) south-southwest of Acapulco." → Two issues with this. First off, it should be 'late morning', not 'later morning'. Secondly, both References 6 and 9 don't say anything about Calvin's CoC being 90 mi SSW of Acapulco. Please find a source that explicitly states such information.
WP:CALC for gods sake. Stop being so picky here. I'm sorry TAM, but it's really annyoing. It's not increasing your reputation at all. What don't you get about that. Oh BTw, I fixed the first issue.
It's still wrong. The center of circulation wasn't 90 miles off of Acapulco, but the maximum radius of tropical storm-force winds were. Those are two completely different things. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Oh, I did not check the source TAM. Fixed.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"...as a ragged eye appeared in satellite images." → Reference No. 10 does not even say anything about the eye at all.
"At 1200 UTC on July 7, Calvin reached its peak intensity of100 mph (160 km/h) and a minimum barometric pressure of 966 mbar (28.5 inHg)." → You should source the EPAC HURDAT here too, since the MWR does not say anything about the time at which peak intensity occurred (1200 UTC).
"Calvin weakened to a tropical depression late on July 8 as it made a second landfall along the extreme southern
Baja California Peninsula." → Since you say 'along', be sure to say 'coast' after peninsula.
If you don't want to say coast at least say 'ashore the extreme...' and not 'along'. 'Along' would indicate coast. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Well, it was near the coast since BCP is an underweight penisula. and "ashore" and "landfall would be redundant.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Preparations
"...was issued for a portion of the Mexican coast on July 6." → Since such information is readily available, you should specify the portions of which these warning products were issued.
No, wiki is not an indiscriminate collection of information.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Six hours later, a hurricane warning was issued. By July 8, all hurricane warnings were discontinued. Six hours later, all hurricane watches were dropped. By 1800 UTC that day, all watches and warnings were dropped." → There's a lot of repetition in this sentence. 'Six hours later' is used to start a sentence twice in a row, and 'were dropped' is used to end a sentence twice in a row, almost as if this was planned. Use synonyms or similar forms with the same meaning.
"...flash floods and mudslides to occur." → I'm sure the phrase 'was expected' is missing somewhere in there.
Puerto Angel should have the accented 'A'.
Unlike quite a few of your references, No. 18 is not from LexisNexis but has no URL. Are you sure you didn't get it from LexisNexis? TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Yeah. If it's something like the LA times, it has no non-pay url (the google thingy usually goes dead after a dew days). Please trust me for once TAM.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
TAM has gained +2 reviewer points. 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
Impact
"...some locations reported as high as 18 in (460 mm) of rain." → Since the associated citation only indicates one instance of 18 in rains, just specify the peak of 18.27.
Because based on the information we know only one place recorded rains of at least 18 inches; the map doesn't even have a contour for 18 inches so we only know that one place recorded such rainfall. Also, 'some' is
WP:WEASEL. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
no, we do not. That's really OR to say if it's one.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"The flooding led to mudslides, killing 30 people on land, with 30,000 people displaced." → Two things. First, no need to get specific with "on land," mudslides occur on land, not water. Secondly, Reference No. 20 only specifies that 28 people were killed, not 30.
"Most of the casualties were due to
flooding or
car accidents on wet roads." → Reference No. 21 does not say anything about car accidents, or wet roads for that matter.
Tweaked before I uhhh. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"Nation-wide 42,063 people were evacuated from their homes.(Reference redacted) Additionally, at least 1,600 people were left homeless." → 'Were evacuated' implies that officials forced people out of their homes. In such case, they would be considered homeless, and as such we would have 43,663 homeless people. However, that is not the case. The report only says that people evacuated, instead of forcibly evacuated.
they left their homes so they could evacuated.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In
Puebla, a peasant died." → Two sentences later we get the fact that five people died in Puebla, so what's so what makes the peasant different than the others? What about the four others?
"In the latter, 11 deaths were reported as two rivers had overflowed their banks while in the former, five people died." → I know you are trying to differentiate Puebla and SLP, but these two states were not indicated in the same serial listing, so you can say former and latter.
I meant to say you can't use former and latter. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
I think it's pretty clear here, actually.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Moreover, six people, who were riding in a taxi died in
Veracruz during Calvin." → You can make this sentence flow better instead of having the extra comma by saying "Moreover, six taxicab passengers died in Veracruz during Calvin."
Well, they could have been driving, so no. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
Forgot about that, but you can make it flow better by saying - "Moreover, six people riding in a taxi died in
Veracruz during Calvin." TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
So, you thought a robot drive humans around? XD XD Anyhow, fixed.
"Across Naryait, Calvin brought heavy rains to the state." → Again, another sentence with an unnecessary comma stop that can be made more concise by saying, "The hurricane brought heavy rains across
Nayarit." Also, if you didn't notice, 'Naryait' is spelled 'Nayarit', plus it should be linked.
"While weakening, the storm also threatened ports such as
Mazatlan along the
Gulf of California coast." → Okay, great. Did it do something in Mazaltan? Because if it didn't, then it shouldn't even be in the impact section, let alone in the article at all, because 'threaten' is subjective unless preparatory measures actually begun there.
"Later in its life, Clavin struck the Baja California Peninsula, though the storm had weakened considerably by that time" → Needs a full stop. Secondly, be more concise, tropical cyclones aren't living things, so don't use 'life'.
"Offshore, 3 ships..." → Per
WP:MOSNUM, 3 should be written out. It might be a continuity problem, but seeing as there is only one other number in standard form I would still think that 3 should be written as, well, 'three'.
"...were intercepted by the storm, but the ship sustained no damage." → This makes it seem like the storm was purposely chasing after the ship, after all, 'to intercept' is a purely on-purpose word. Use something like the ship was 'caught within the storm' or something to that effect, so that the implied meaning is that they unintentionally were caught in the storm, not the storm was chasing them.
Yes, it says that immigrants were intercepted by the hurricane. Sorry, but the hurricane is not a custom agent nor is it border patrol. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Of course not, but it was still intercepted. It IMO does not imply if was on purpose. Maybe the immigrants wanted to be in a hurricane, though I hope not, but that's besides the point.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In all, the damage from Hurricane Calvin amounted to over 100 million
new pesos, or $32 million (1993 USD, $42 million 2005 USD)." → You should link 'new pesos' to the 'Nuevo peso' subsection of
Mexican Peso. Also, you should use the inflation template to update that inflated cost number – 2005 is quite old in online standards, :P TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
It's not one of the costliest EPAC storms, so I removed it. And you've given me too many comments for me to do the first, change it yourself if you insist. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"An estimated 7,000 were left homeless along the Oaxacan..." → Doesn't this completely invalidate the factoid that there were only 1,600 homeless Mexicans?
"Two rivers threatened to overflow their banks..." → Rivers don't threaten to overflow their banks. They either do or they don't. If they don't, no damage is caused, because, why would you have settlements in the river in the first place.
"...flooded and due to extended periods of torrential rains." → And due to extended periods of torrential rains... what happened? TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In Acapulco, waves of 15 ft (4.6 m) moved through the city." → Okay, while I'm fine with Calvin producing 15 ft waves, but are you sure they moved through the city? That seems like an overstatement at first glance, but maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps you meant that 15 ft waves hit the coast but not move through the city.
They hit beaches, which is part of the city.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
we don't know if they were beaches. It could have been an overlook. There is not a beach everywhere along the cost.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In several states, between 5 in (130 mm) to10 in (250 mm) inches of rain was recorded. However, in
Las Pilas, the highest rainfall total was observed, at16.34 in (415 mm)." → All of this and the 15 ft waves aren't supported by reference no. 21.
"Although the city escaped significant damage,..." → Reference 35 does not say that Acapulco escaped significant damage. In fact, that news source was written as Calvin was approaching, so this doesn't support that statement.
"A mudslide killed a man and a son(Reference redacted) while three others(Reference redacted) one person was reported dead after trying to save his boat from sinking." → You start talking about 'three others' but never say anything about them, leaving a very odd sentence structure.
Removed the incomplete part. I deserve to run a mile for this really really bad article, and I will do later today.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Oh, changed. I don't deserve to edit for a week :P
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Overall, several beach communities were destroyed, almost 1,000 dwellings were destroyed..." → Find a synonym for destroyed so you won't have to find yourself repeating 'destroyed'.
None exists that I know of in my stupid brain of mine.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"...four cottages were damaged due to the winds and was later swept away." → Since we're talking about four cottages, it should be 'were later swept...', not 'was later swept...'.
"One two-story hotel was nearly destroyed as all the remained undamaged after the storm was a swimming pool." → You ought to use 'that' instead of 'the'.
surprised you understood that sentence. Yeah, tweaked. I wanna run 2 miles now.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In a resort situated 18 mi (29 km) northwest of the city, high waves pounded many small resorts." → Since it's been a while since we've mentioned Acapulco, you ought to mention it again. Also, in a resort, waves pounded many small resorts? What? Is this resortception? TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
XD XD it's a resort town. You see this a lot in Las Vegas.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Colima
"...a little to the west." → Do you know how far?
I mention a lot of distances. You've given me way too many comments for me to wanna fix it.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"The Instituto Oceanografico del Pacifico in Manzanillo reported a minimum central pressure of 994 mbar (29.4 inHg) in addition to the
gale-force winds." → Since the I.O.P. is separate from the Mexican Weather Service you should say just 'gale-force winds' and leave out the preceding 'the'.
Your expliantion for why makes no sense, sir :P
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
So, allow me to refer you to a suggestion – "The Instituto Oceanograpfico del Pacifico in Manzanillo reported a minimum central pressure of 994 mbar (29.4 inHg) in addition to
gale-force winds."
Oh, you wanted me to remove the "the", done :P
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"State-wide,
sustained winds of 60 mph (97 km/h) were observed at 1300 UTC." → You should say 'around 1300 UTC'. At 1300 UTC makes it seem like BAM! those winds occurred at that one time and then ceased.
BAM! It's been changed. BAM! I am breathing :P
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Shortly thereafter, near 1545 UTC, sustained winds of 35 mph (56 km/h) with gusts up to 45 mph (72 km/h) were reported in the same location." → The last location specified was 'state-wide', which definitely isn't very specific. You should mention Manzanillo again.
Done. !!!!
"Offshore, several ships reported rough weather during Calvin's existence, with the Pacific Sandpiper reporting a maximum wave height of 44 ft (13 m)." → Once again everything is fine and dandy here but Reference No. 21 doesn't even cite anything in the first paragraph of the Colima section.
I randomly guessed what report this came from. This is why you are getting this issue.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Two fatalities occurred offshore when a
trimaran capsized; two fishermen were also reported missing." → Reference No. 21 says that the trimaran capsized 300 mi off of Acapulco, so this would go in the Guerrero section.
"Electrical and water services were cut off to the city of Mazanillio." → This is one of the better times to say 'the latter' instead of 'the city of Manzanillo.' TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"the latter" just does not some right in my stupid brain.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Also, your response to my qualm does not sound right either, :P
"In the state of Michoacán, 700 homes were destroyed. Moreover, many bridges and highways were destroyed due to a 15-foot (4.6 m) storm surge." → Once again, Reference No. 21 does not source this material. Also, you're not being consistent with your units. You have a sing=on parameter that turns 15 ft into 15-foot. Not sure you want that.
"Although initially not expected to pose a threat to the ship Betula,(Reference redacted) rough seas near
Lazaro Cardenas caused all 4,000 t (4,000,000 kg) of
sulfuric acid to leak aboard the previously beached cargo tanker.." → I think you're getting the wrong idea, because the situation described in this sentence and the last completely capsizes what happened. (Pun!) Here's what happened – the hurricane was a threat to the Betula, after all, the rough seas caused it to ground itself off of Lazara Cardenas. It was then that a towing operation failed, thus causing the ship's sulfuric acid cargo to leak . What you're saying is that Calvin was raining sulfuric rain on the ship, which wasn't initially expected to be of concern.
"In all, the cleanup effort took one month to complete." → And once again Reference No. 21 does not source this. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Simultaneously, fishermen in
Playa Azul protested that their livelihood was endangered due to fishing bans; consequently, in Lazaro Cardenas, 28 people were arrested while warrants for 526 others' arrest were issued for disturbing peace and blocking highways. This sparked protests from two environmental group as a well a group of Mexican artists. Also, the fisherman demanded a $1 million compensation." → And what does this have to do with Calvin? There's no connection at all. You didn't mention a fishing ban earlier. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
It happened after the storm. Without Calvin, none of this protesting BS would have happened.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
How would you know? Calvin did not cause any fishing bans, so it has nothing to do with Calvin. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
As a general rule per
WP:ALSO, links in the article should not be repeated in the see also section,
Hurricane Eugene (1987) was already used in the background section; use another link. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
No, I have nothing better to put in. You'll give me BS analog storms knowing you :P
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
That's it for now. I'll probably check over the LexisNexis sources when I have the time. Feel free to fix the issues I've already posted. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
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Hello,
Yellow Evan, I will be reviewing
Hurricane Calvin (1993), a relatively rare landfalling July hurricane. As you've said yourself, due to my thoroughness in these reviews, please treat this as a mini-
FAC. That being said, please do not dismiss errors as outside the scope of
WP:WIAGA; since you said that you aren't planning any FACs soon, the qualms that you do not fix will most likely never be fixed. As always, thanks in advance. As general reminders, remember to add non-breaking spaces between numbers and their identifiers, and metric conversions for units, where possible. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Lead
"Continued strengthening occurred as Calvin turned northward, after originally heading westward. As Calvin was turning northward..." → This is all a back and forth section of prose that can be very easily simplified. Suggest changing to "Continued strengthening ensued as Calvin curved from its initial westward track northward, and was upgraded to a hurricane on July 6."
You use 'Calvin' in the lead not once, twice, three times, [...] but an astounding eleven times! Consider using syllables like 'tropical cyclone', 'storm', 'hurricane', etc.
"Most of the casualties were due to
flooding or
car accidents." → Why did you link flooding here and not the last sentence? Normally we link the first instance of such nouns to be linked. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 15:01, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In an average July, a high pressure system is located over Texas, preventing landfall in Mexico." → Two things here. First, link high pressure system to the appropriate article page. Secondly, specify landfall by saying 'tropical cyclone landfalls', after all, landfall can apply to a number of storms and has other applications.
"However, a trough steered Calvin northward to hit Mexico as a hurricane in the month of July," → First, link
trough. Second, we get it. Since you included climatological information for the month of July in the previous sentence and in the lead, I know for sure that everyone knows that Calvin occurred in July, so you should say something along the lines of 'as a hurricane that month.
Then, it can be implied as Calvin is one of 3 MX cane landfalls.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Reference No. 1 says nothing about the climatological July, nor does it mention anything about the trough that was just indicated in the previous sentence.
The new reference still does not indicate that a high-pressure area is usually present over the Southwestern United States. TheAustinMan(
Talk·
Works) 17:10, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Now that I read the following clause, it's apparent that the first part of the background needs reworking. I've provided the suggested wording as follows – "However, an anomalous trough steered Calvin northward to hit Mexico, making Calvin one of three
Pacific hurricanes to strike the nation during July since
record keeping began in
1949."
And I know I provided suggested wording on that last bullet, but if you wanted to reword it yourself, keep in mind that HURDAT did not begin keeping records in 1949. HURDAT was created in 1976, but data since 1949 has been kept in it. Make sure you make that clear.
what does that have to do with anything? Record were kept in 1949, just no database was created.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
The wording still means that HURDAT was created in 1949, and has been keeping records since then. You need to be more specific and say that record keeping began in 1949, not that HURDAT began then.
No, it does not. It implies that record have been kept in 1949. You just wanna give me extra comments :p
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Reference No. 2 says nothing about anything it supposedly sources. The word 'Calvin' (or Eugene for that matter) is not even mentioned once in the associated PDF. The only thing in the PDF that might source the information is just a map with dots and lines, and no names. I do not see how that is helpful and sourceful. TheAustinMan(
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Wrong. It gives a table of hurricane strike, and shows the ones in July.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Could you give me the page number? I'm not finding it. Also, since you're only using a select number of pages you ought to specify the |pages= parameter of the reference. TheAustinMan(
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This is not FAC. Can you trust me for once?
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Meteorological history
"Despite the lacks of concentrated convection..." → Only use the plural form of 'lack' in the present tense. In this case, and pretty much in all uses you'll use on Wikipedia, use 'lack'.
It's a simple mistake! No need to waste your time being so through! I'm not dumb :P
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"...the system was classified using the
Dvorak Technique..." → Again, common nomenclature would have 'technique' decapitalized.
Done. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"...a tool used to measure a
tropical cyclones intensity." → Since we're talking about possessives, it should be tropical cyclone's, the possessive form, and not the plural, 'tropical cyclones'.
"...while centered approximately 275 mi (443 km) southeast of
Acapulco." → 275 nautical miles (as stated in the report) is not 275 miles. To be specific, 275 nautical miles is roughly equal to 315 miles. Be careful, nautical miles are not equivalent to miles.
Changed. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"Initially, the storm was expected to stay offshore and attain winds of 60 mph (95 km/h)*." → The discussion that cites this part (Reference No. 3) forecasts for 60 knot winds, not 60 mph winds. Please do not assume that such measurements are equivalent next time.
It's a brain fart! Don;t you know me by now TAM :P 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"...and banding-type
eye formed in association with Calvin later that day." → First off, it's a banding-type eye. Secondly, Reference No. 4 does say an eye formed, but never specifies that it was a banding-type one. I think you mean to have Reference No. 1 there, since that does specify the banding eye.
"Later that day, the NHC reported that Tropical Storm Calvin had attained winds of 65 mph (105 km/h)*." → Since you use the subject/predicate combination of 'the NHC reported', you should have the associated advisory discussion in which the NHC reported that winds attained such intensity. If you want to just keep the EPAC HURDAT there, that's fine, but remove 'the NHC reported that'.
"Continuing to intensify, the system was upgraded to a hurricane at 0000 UTC on July 6 while becoming the second hurricane of the season..." → Three things here. First of all, Calvin did not become a hurricane while in the process of becoming the second hurricane of the season, it intensified into a hurricane and as such became the second hurricane of the season. Secondly, Reference No. 4 does not back this up, I think you need Reference No. 1 and the EPAC HURDAT reference for this one. Also, you should add a comma after 'season'.
Disagreed on the first, but did the last two.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
I'm still a bit iffy that you ignored the first qualm but I'll let it slide for today. TheAustinMan(
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"...of a large,
monsoon-like deep-layer-mean..." → Since the report specified that it was a monsoon-like deep-layer-mean cyclonic circulation, this should not link to anticyclone, which suggests anticyclonic rotation.
Fair enough; part of that issue had to do with the face that I have no idea what a deep-layer-mean is. TheAustinMan(
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...and upon reading the next clause of this sentence I was completely confused because the second clause ends at an abrupt stop that would appear truncated at first glance. Allow me to revise it for you – "Around that time, Hurricane Calvin was embedded within the northeastern part of a large, monsoon-like deep-layer-mean cyclonic circulation, which stretched from the
Intertropical Convergence Zone to the southwest Mexican coastline."
Decline, I don't use semi-colons enough. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
That doesn't make it not wrong. The sentence suggests that Calvin's circulation center stretched from the ITCZ to Mexico, but it was the deep layer mean's cyclonic circulation that did such a feat. TheAustinMan(
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"its" is not deep-layer mean, that should be clear.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Furthermore, Calvin was a fairly large cyclone as surface winds of 35 mph (55 km/h)* were reported nearly 200 mi (320 km) from the storm's center." → Two things. First off, 200 nautical miles ≠ 200 miles. Secondly, everything in this paragraph that seems to source the second page of the TCR is pointing to the incorrect page. So far we should've only been sourcing Reference No. 1.
"Shortly after becoming a hurricane, Calvin developed an
eye-like feature." → If this is the first time, what was the fuss about the banding-eye feature in the first sentence of the second paragraph?
"During the later morning hours of July 6, Calvin briefly slowed down before quickly accelerating to the northwest, bringing Calvin's center of circulation 90 mi (140 km) south-southwest of Acapulco." → Two issues with this. First off, it should be 'late morning', not 'later morning'. Secondly, both References 6 and 9 don't say anything about Calvin's CoC being 90 mi SSW of Acapulco. Please find a source that explicitly states such information.
WP:CALC for gods sake. Stop being so picky here. I'm sorry TAM, but it's really annyoing. It's not increasing your reputation at all. What don't you get about that. Oh BTw, I fixed the first issue.
It's still wrong. The center of circulation wasn't 90 miles off of Acapulco, but the maximum radius of tropical storm-force winds were. Those are two completely different things. TheAustinMan(
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Oh, I did not check the source TAM. Fixed.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"...as a ragged eye appeared in satellite images." → Reference No. 10 does not even say anything about the eye at all.
"At 1200 UTC on July 7, Calvin reached its peak intensity of100 mph (160 km/h) and a minimum barometric pressure of 966 mbar (28.5 inHg)." → You should source the EPAC HURDAT here too, since the MWR does not say anything about the time at which peak intensity occurred (1200 UTC).
"Calvin weakened to a tropical depression late on July 8 as it made a second landfall along the extreme southern
Baja California Peninsula." → Since you say 'along', be sure to say 'coast' after peninsula.
If you don't want to say coast at least say 'ashore the extreme...' and not 'along'. 'Along' would indicate coast. TheAustinMan(
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Well, it was near the coast since BCP is an underweight penisula. and "ashore" and "landfall would be redundant.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Preparations
"...was issued for a portion of the Mexican coast on July 6." → Since such information is readily available, you should specify the portions of which these warning products were issued.
No, wiki is not an indiscriminate collection of information.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Six hours later, a hurricane warning was issued. By July 8, all hurricane warnings were discontinued. Six hours later, all hurricane watches were dropped. By 1800 UTC that day, all watches and warnings were dropped." → There's a lot of repetition in this sentence. 'Six hours later' is used to start a sentence twice in a row, and 'were dropped' is used to end a sentence twice in a row, almost as if this was planned. Use synonyms or similar forms with the same meaning.
"...flash floods and mudslides to occur." → I'm sure the phrase 'was expected' is missing somewhere in there.
Puerto Angel should have the accented 'A'.
Unlike quite a few of your references, No. 18 is not from LexisNexis but has no URL. Are you sure you didn't get it from LexisNexis? TheAustinMan(
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Yeah. If it's something like the LA times, it has no non-pay url (the google thingy usually goes dead after a dew days). Please trust me for once TAM.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
TAM has gained +2 reviewer points. 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
Impact
"...some locations reported as high as 18 in (460 mm) of rain." → Since the associated citation only indicates one instance of 18 in rains, just specify the peak of 18.27.
Because based on the information we know only one place recorded rains of at least 18 inches; the map doesn't even have a contour for 18 inches so we only know that one place recorded such rainfall. Also, 'some' is
WP:WEASEL. TheAustinMan(
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no, we do not. That's really OR to say if it's one.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"The flooding led to mudslides, killing 30 people on land, with 30,000 people displaced." → Two things. First, no need to get specific with "on land," mudslides occur on land, not water. Secondly, Reference No. 20 only specifies that 28 people were killed, not 30.
"Most of the casualties were due to
flooding or
car accidents on wet roads." → Reference No. 21 does not say anything about car accidents, or wet roads for that matter.
Tweaked before I uhhh. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"Nation-wide 42,063 people were evacuated from their homes.(Reference redacted) Additionally, at least 1,600 people were left homeless." → 'Were evacuated' implies that officials forced people out of their homes. In such case, they would be considered homeless, and as such we would have 43,663 homeless people. However, that is not the case. The report only says that people evacuated, instead of forcibly evacuated.
they left their homes so they could evacuated.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In
Puebla, a peasant died." → Two sentences later we get the fact that five people died in Puebla, so what's so what makes the peasant different than the others? What about the four others?
"In the latter, 11 deaths were reported as two rivers had overflowed their banks while in the former, five people died." → I know you are trying to differentiate Puebla and SLP, but these two states were not indicated in the same serial listing, so you can say former and latter.
I meant to say you can't use former and latter. TheAustinMan(
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I think it's pretty clear here, actually.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Moreover, six people, who were riding in a taxi died in
Veracruz during Calvin." → You can make this sentence flow better instead of having the extra comma by saying "Moreover, six taxicab passengers died in Veracruz during Calvin."
Well, they could have been driving, so no. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
Forgot about that, but you can make it flow better by saying - "Moreover, six people riding in a taxi died in
Veracruz during Calvin." TheAustinMan(
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So, you thought a robot drive humans around? XD XD Anyhow, fixed.
"Across Naryait, Calvin brought heavy rains to the state." → Again, another sentence with an unnecessary comma stop that can be made more concise by saying, "The hurricane brought heavy rains across
Nayarit." Also, if you didn't notice, 'Naryait' is spelled 'Nayarit', plus it should be linked.
"While weakening, the storm also threatened ports such as
Mazatlan along the
Gulf of California coast." → Okay, great. Did it do something in Mazaltan? Because if it didn't, then it shouldn't even be in the impact section, let alone in the article at all, because 'threaten' is subjective unless preparatory measures actually begun there.
"Later in its life, Clavin struck the Baja California Peninsula, though the storm had weakened considerably by that time" → Needs a full stop. Secondly, be more concise, tropical cyclones aren't living things, so don't use 'life'.
"Offshore, 3 ships..." → Per
WP:MOSNUM, 3 should be written out. It might be a continuity problem, but seeing as there is only one other number in standard form I would still think that 3 should be written as, well, 'three'.
"...were intercepted by the storm, but the ship sustained no damage." → This makes it seem like the storm was purposely chasing after the ship, after all, 'to intercept' is a purely on-purpose word. Use something like the ship was 'caught within the storm' or something to that effect, so that the implied meaning is that they unintentionally were caught in the storm, not the storm was chasing them.
Yes, it says that immigrants were intercepted by the hurricane. Sorry, but the hurricane is not a custom agent nor is it border patrol. TheAustinMan(
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Of course not, but it was still intercepted. It IMO does not imply if was on purpose. Maybe the immigrants wanted to be in a hurricane, though I hope not, but that's besides the point.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In all, the damage from Hurricane Calvin amounted to over 100 million
new pesos, or $32 million (1993 USD, $42 million 2005 USD)." → You should link 'new pesos' to the 'Nuevo peso' subsection of
Mexican Peso. Also, you should use the inflation template to update that inflated cost number – 2005 is quite old in online standards, :P TheAustinMan(
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It's not one of the costliest EPAC storms, so I removed it. And you've given me too many comments for me to do the first, change it yourself if you insist. 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)
"An estimated 7,000 were left homeless along the Oaxacan..." → Doesn't this completely invalidate the factoid that there were only 1,600 homeless Mexicans?
"Two rivers threatened to overflow their banks..." → Rivers don't threaten to overflow their banks. They either do or they don't. If they don't, no damage is caused, because, why would you have settlements in the river in the first place.
"...flooded and due to extended periods of torrential rains." → And due to extended periods of torrential rains... what happened? TheAustinMan(
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"In Acapulco, waves of 15 ft (4.6 m) moved through the city." → Okay, while I'm fine with Calvin producing 15 ft waves, but are you sure they moved through the city? That seems like an overstatement at first glance, but maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps you meant that 15 ft waves hit the coast but not move through the city.
They hit beaches, which is part of the city.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
we don't know if they were beaches. It could have been an overlook. There is not a beach everywhere along the cost.
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In several states, between 5 in (130 mm) to10 in (250 mm) inches of rain was recorded. However, in
Las Pilas, the highest rainfall total was observed, at16.34 in (415 mm)." → All of this and the 15 ft waves aren't supported by reference no. 21.
"Although the city escaped significant damage,..." → Reference 35 does not say that Acapulco escaped significant damage. In fact, that news source was written as Calvin was approaching, so this doesn't support that statement.
"A mudslide killed a man and a son(Reference redacted) while three others(Reference redacted) one person was reported dead after trying to save his boat from sinking." → You start talking about 'three others' but never say anything about them, leaving a very odd sentence structure.
Removed the incomplete part. I deserve to run a mile for this really really bad article, and I will do later today.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Oh, changed. I don't deserve to edit for a week :P
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Overall, several beach communities were destroyed, almost 1,000 dwellings were destroyed..." → Find a synonym for destroyed so you won't have to find yourself repeating 'destroyed'.
None exists that I know of in my stupid brain of mine.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"...four cottages were damaged due to the winds and was later swept away." → Since we're talking about four cottages, it should be 'were later swept...', not 'was later swept...'.
"One two-story hotel was nearly destroyed as all the remained undamaged after the storm was a swimming pool." → You ought to use 'that' instead of 'the'.
surprised you understood that sentence. Yeah, tweaked. I wanna run 2 miles now.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"In a resort situated 18 mi (29 km) northwest of the city, high waves pounded many small resorts." → Since it's been a while since we've mentioned Acapulco, you ought to mention it again. Also, in a resort, waves pounded many small resorts? What? Is this resortception? TheAustinMan(
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XD XD it's a resort town. You see this a lot in Las Vegas.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Colima
"...a little to the west." → Do you know how far?
I mention a lot of distances. You've given me way too many comments for me to wanna fix it.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"The Instituto Oceanografico del Pacifico in Manzanillo reported a minimum central pressure of 994 mbar (29.4 inHg) in addition to the
gale-force winds." → Since the I.O.P. is separate from the Mexican Weather Service you should say just 'gale-force winds' and leave out the preceding 'the'.
Your expliantion for why makes no sense, sir :P
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
So, allow me to refer you to a suggestion – "The Instituto Oceanograpfico del Pacifico in Manzanillo reported a minimum central pressure of 994 mbar (29.4 inHg) in addition to
gale-force winds."
Oh, you wanted me to remove the "the", done :P
YEPacificHurricane 17:42, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"State-wide,
sustained winds of 60 mph (97 km/h) were observed at 1300 UTC." → You should say 'around 1300 UTC'. At 1300 UTC makes it seem like BAM! those winds occurred at that one time and then ceased.
BAM! It's been changed. BAM! I am breathing :P
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Shortly thereafter, near 1545 UTC, sustained winds of 35 mph (56 km/h) with gusts up to 45 mph (72 km/h) were reported in the same location." → The last location specified was 'state-wide', which definitely isn't very specific. You should mention Manzanillo again.
Done. !!!!
"Offshore, several ships reported rough weather during Calvin's existence, with the Pacific Sandpiper reporting a maximum wave height of 44 ft (13 m)." → Once again everything is fine and dandy here but Reference No. 21 doesn't even cite anything in the first paragraph of the Colima section.
I randomly guessed what report this came from. This is why you are getting this issue.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
"Two fatalities occurred offshore when a
trimaran capsized; two fishermen were also reported missing." → Reference No. 21 says that the trimaran capsized 300 mi off of Acapulco, so this would go in the Guerrero section.
"Electrical and water services were cut off to the city of Mazanillio." → This is one of the better times to say 'the latter' instead of 'the city of Manzanillo.' TheAustinMan(
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"the latter" just does not some right in my stupid brain.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
Also, your response to my qualm does not sound right either, :P
"In the state of Michoacán, 700 homes were destroyed. Moreover, many bridges and highways were destroyed due to a 15-foot (4.6 m) storm surge." → Once again, Reference No. 21 does not source this material. Also, you're not being consistent with your units. You have a sing=on parameter that turns 15 ft into 15-foot. Not sure you want that.
"Although initially not expected to pose a threat to the ship Betula,(Reference redacted) rough seas near
Lazaro Cardenas caused all 4,000 t (4,000,000 kg) of
sulfuric acid to leak aboard the previously beached cargo tanker.." → I think you're getting the wrong idea, because the situation described in this sentence and the last completely capsizes what happened. (Pun!) Here's what happened – the hurricane was a threat to the Betula, after all, the rough seas caused it to ground itself off of Lazara Cardenas. It was then that a towing operation failed, thus causing the ship's sulfuric acid cargo to leak . What you're saying is that Calvin was raining sulfuric rain on the ship, which wasn't initially expected to be of concern.
"In all, the cleanup effort took one month to complete." → And once again Reference No. 21 does not source this. TheAustinMan(
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"Simultaneously, fishermen in
Playa Azul protested that their livelihood was endangered due to fishing bans; consequently, in Lazaro Cardenas, 28 people were arrested while warrants for 526 others' arrest were issued for disturbing peace and blocking highways. This sparked protests from two environmental group as a well a group of Mexican artists. Also, the fisherman demanded a $1 million compensation." → And what does this have to do with Calvin? There's no connection at all. You didn't mention a fishing ban earlier. TheAustinMan(
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It happened after the storm. Without Calvin, none of this protesting BS would have happened.
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
How would you know? Calvin did not cause any fishing bans, so it has nothing to do with Calvin. TheAustinMan(
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As a general rule per
WP:ALSO, links in the article should not be repeated in the see also section,
Hurricane Eugene (1987) was already used in the background section; use another link. TheAustinMan(
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No, I have nothing better to put in. You'll give me BS analog storms knowing you :P
YEPacificHurricane 16:18, 4 August 2013 (UTC)reply
That's it for now. I'll probably check over the LexisNexis sources when I have the time. Feel free to fix the issues I've already posted. TheAustinMan(
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