The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien ( talk · contribs) 05:13, 23 March 2023 (UTC)
Looks pretty good, just a few minor issues that need to be addressed. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 19:38, 23 March 2023 (UTC)
Prose:
Duran Duran boasts a mixture– "boasts" seems vaguely promotional/informal
Duran Duran agreed to credit all songs to the band and split all earnings evenly; John credits this– using "credit" two different ways in the same sentence is distracting
and what became "Khanada"– why is this one singled out?
with Thurston on Boxing Day– is it significant that it was Boxing Day?
heavy blues rock bands which included AC/DC and Van Halen– are these bands known for their blues rock?
which Rhodes later called a form of irony– elaborate.
Some reviewers were positive towards the musicreads strangely to me, as it seems redundant to say that the reviewers are talking about the music. Finally, it wouldn't hurt to trim and/or paraphrase more of the quotes, but I also realize I'm more of a stickler about quotes than most reviewers, so just consider that a suggestion rather than a GA requirement. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 17:11, 2 April 2023 (UTC)
the band's current single– This makes it sound like it's the band current single today in 2023. Clarify the time period.
The remastering had a negative reaction from fans as a victim of the loudness war. Listeners particularly cited "Girls on Film" as containing a defect which is not present in any other mastering of the song.– I suggest rewriting these sentences. They're stilted and difficult to read, especially with the passive voice.
Manual of Style:
Critics felt the band lacked the skills needed to separate themselves from other New Romantic artists.– I can't access the sources for this. Do they say that critics in general felt this way, or are they specific examples of critics making that point? If it's the latter, it should be attributed.
Spotchecks:
40th-anniversary retrospective, or was this confused with the other Zaleski source?
"by far in the minority".
developing their sound with occasional live performances, as the source says they did their performances first, then had the writing period with only one live performance during it.
It might be good to expand on the lyrics a little bit, as most songs only get one sentence or even less. Especially if there's anything that could be said about the direction they took "Tel Aviv". But coverage is sufficient for GA.
The opinion of Malins is given a lot of weight throughout the article. A little opinion is fine, but try not to use Malins's more than that of other sources.
No recent edits except by nominator, no talk page disputes.
All images are relevant and suitably captioned. Album covers have valid non-free use rationales.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Article (
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visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
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history) ·
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Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien ( talk · contribs) 05:13, 23 March 2023 (UTC)
Looks pretty good, just a few minor issues that need to be addressed. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 19:38, 23 March 2023 (UTC)
Prose:
Duran Duran boasts a mixture– "boasts" seems vaguely promotional/informal
Duran Duran agreed to credit all songs to the band and split all earnings evenly; John credits this– using "credit" two different ways in the same sentence is distracting
and what became "Khanada"– why is this one singled out?
with Thurston on Boxing Day– is it significant that it was Boxing Day?
heavy blues rock bands which included AC/DC and Van Halen– are these bands known for their blues rock?
which Rhodes later called a form of irony– elaborate.
Some reviewers were positive towards the musicreads strangely to me, as it seems redundant to say that the reviewers are talking about the music. Finally, it wouldn't hurt to trim and/or paraphrase more of the quotes, but I also realize I'm more of a stickler about quotes than most reviewers, so just consider that a suggestion rather than a GA requirement. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 17:11, 2 April 2023 (UTC)
the band's current single– This makes it sound like it's the band current single today in 2023. Clarify the time period.
The remastering had a negative reaction from fans as a victim of the loudness war. Listeners particularly cited "Girls on Film" as containing a defect which is not present in any other mastering of the song.– I suggest rewriting these sentences. They're stilted and difficult to read, especially with the passive voice.
Manual of Style:
Critics felt the band lacked the skills needed to separate themselves from other New Romantic artists.– I can't access the sources for this. Do they say that critics in general felt this way, or are they specific examples of critics making that point? If it's the latter, it should be attributed.
Spotchecks:
40th-anniversary retrospective, or was this confused with the other Zaleski source?
"by far in the minority".
developing their sound with occasional live performances, as the source says they did their performances first, then had the writing period with only one live performance during it.
It might be good to expand on the lyrics a little bit, as most songs only get one sentence or even less. Especially if there's anything that could be said about the direction they took "Tel Aviv". But coverage is sufficient for GA.
The opinion of Malins is given a lot of weight throughout the article. A little opinion is fine, but try not to use Malins's more than that of other sources.
No recent edits except by nominator, no talk page disputes.
All images are relevant and suitably captioned. Album covers have valid non-free use rationales.