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This is a nice start, but there's much more information that you should include. For example, which of these sign languages are Deaf community sign languages, and which are shared-signing communities? To what extent are these languages the product of divergence, convergence, and emergence? Which of them are indigenous to First Nations people in Canada, and which are the result of colonization? Are indigenous people typically bilingual in an indigenous sign language and a majority sign language? Right now, the section would score somewhere between "needs improvement" and "acceptable". Addressing at least some of the above questions would move it toward the acceptable to exemplary range. Matthall.research ( talk) 14:37, 21 September 2022 (UTC) reply

Initial graded feedback:

Ok, my standards have gotten a little friendlier as the semester has continued! I'd still like to know more about everything I mentioned above, but I'd score this version a 2.5/3.

-Minor point: you mention IUR without first saying what it stands for (or its English name). Matthall.research ( talk) 01:33, 19 October 2022 (UTC) reply

I generally recommend naming this section something like "Significant organizations", so that you can include groups that are having a significant *negative* impact on Indigenous Deaf Canadians as well.

The 2 groups listed here are great, as far the references you've found. I'd certainly be expecting this section to get fleshed out quite a bit more. I would also encourage you to add other organizations such as the CAD, even if they're not exclusively focused on Indigenous Deaf people. You can then describe the nature of the impact: for instance, funding the Hummingbird Society but also failing to include Indigenous sign languages in their advocacy efforts around the language equality act.

In its current state, this section would score no higher than 1/3, but I'm confident that after fleshing it out, it would be in 2+ territory. Matthall.research ( talk) 15:58, 26 September 2022 (UTC) reply

Initial graded feedback:

I would recommend re-titling this section "Significant Organizations" and listing BCHSD and Nunavut Deaf Society under it. I also stand by my earlier feedback. Current score: 1.75/2. Matthall.research ( talk) 01:59, 19 October 2022 (UTC) reply

Very nice! Definitely north of a "2", and probably approaching a "3". The main opportunity for improvement at this point would be providing more details/specifics about cases where Indigenous DHH folks have been deprived of their rights. Your writing style is excellent for wikipedia, as are your citations: keep it up! Matthall.research ( talk) 23:10, 29 September 2022 (UTC) reply

Initial graded feedback:

The only thing I'd want to change in this section is to see a list of the 15 issues in the Access & Equality report. Otherwise excellent! 2.9/3. Matthall.research ( talk) 02:01, 19 October 2022 (UTC) reply

I recommend bringing up Deaf folks much earlier here: you're literally burying the lead! Matthall.research ( talk) 01:28, 19 October 2022 (UTC) reply

Initial graded feedback:

Very nice! The only other thing I'd recommend adding here is that Canada's province-by-province approach to newborn hearing screening is another barrier to collecting systematic information.

Current score: 2.9/3 Matthall.research ( talk) 02:04, 19 October 2022 (UTC) reply

Quite ahead of the game here! I can count this toward your current grade, but I trust that you'll want to continue updating it. In particular, the history of Indigenous Deaf education is bound up with the genocidal history of education for Indigenous hearing people.

-It's not clear right now why the school is Saskatoon is being singled out for mention: was it a school specifically for Indigenous Deaf students?

Current score: 1/3 Matthall.research ( talk) 02:07, 19 October 2022 (UTC) reply

Also off to a nice start, but will hopefully be expanding in the future. Please specify whether the cited stats are for DHH Indigenous folks specifically, or the general Indigenous population.

Current score: 1/3 Matthall.research ( talk) 02:08, 19 October 2022 (UTC) reply

As above, this is a fine beginning. I look forward to seeing how it grows. Current score: 1/3 Matthall.research ( talk) 02:09, 19 October 2022 (UTC) reply

This is already taking shape very nicely! It's unfortunate that there's so much to say about this topic in your region. Definitely an area worth digging into in more depth!

Current score: 1.75/3. Matthall.research ( talk) 02:11, 19 October 2022 (UTC) reply