The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien ( talk · contribs) 02:36, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
James Acaster has been one of my all time favorite comedians since I first saw him on Taskmaster. I'll look forward to this one. Before I forget, I'm the main author of
James Acaster: Repertoire, so if you wanted to "create" that article, then I don't mind if you totally rework or just scrap what I wrote; it was one of the first articles I ever wrote, and I didn't really know what I was doing.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 02:36, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
Bilorv, I've reviewed the article. Overall it's pretty good, just a handful of things that need fixing. I'd pay special attention to the synopsis, where it might benefit from some work on the wording and flow. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 14:19, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
General:
Synopsis:
Claiming to notice that he is losing his audience– Even though this isn't the usual "claim" issue, might be better just to say that he says he's losing it or that he's worrying he's losing it.
he abruptly changes tact– Is this the right word?
walk on eggshells around him– Idiom.
The best year of Acaster's life was 1999should be avoided when possible.
While describing a solar eclipse on a family holiday– This makes it sound like he was doing the describing during the holiday. Maybe "while describing a solar eclipse he saw on a family holiday" or "while describing a family holiday in which he saw a solar eclipse".
However, he permits himself one joke about Atkinson having a chicken on his head.– I think the context of why he allowed the joke is important here.
However, he permits himself one joke about Atkinson having a chicken on his head, justified by Atkinson saying it is unnecessary to apologise for funny jokes in the context of a comment Boris Johnson made.— Bilorv ( talk) 22:10, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
Acaster ruined everything as a prank.– This is confusing until after reading the next few sentences. Is there a way to make it clear what this means right away?
According to his agentfor clarify. This joke is needed to establish to the reader (at the top of the paragraph) that Acaster is not earnestly/accurately describing his agent's point of view (without going into original research). — Bilorv ( talk) 22:10, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
thus paradoxically showing she helped him overcome rejection issues– The article doesn't make it clear why it's a paradox.
He involuntarily defecated while at a restaurant– It should be clear he's going back to the embarrassing thing. This didn't happen because he was thrown by the audience.
Luckily– Editorializing.
Touring:
as it felt less exposed to say personal things– Awkward wording.
However, he did not say he had 'quit'.– This seems random and doesn't really fit with the sentence before it.
and announced a tour in the US– If this tour has taken place, then this could be updated.
Filming and release:
released permanently on Vimeo– "permanently" probably isn't necessary.
Reception:
Transgender segment:
which joke about transgender people.– It should make it clear that the jokes are specifically at the expense of transgender people, if that's the case.
All sources appear reliable. Most of them are either newspapers or entertainment magazines.
Spot checks:
He began performing stand-up comedy in 2008, after failing to find success as a drummer.or
Acaster continued writing fictional material as he had with Repertoire
When I originally tried to write a show that was all fictitious, it just didn’t click. You can’t really put your finger on why a lot of the time. Particularly after I filmed all those shows [his Repertoire collection on Netflix], it was hard to be enthusiastic about doing another one of those kind of shows immediately again. The former didn't quite say 2008 (it does say age 23). I've added a couple more sources (New Yorker is the 2008 claim specifically). — Bilorv ( talk) 22:10, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
went viral in January 2020supposed to be 2021?
The title, Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999, is not explained in the special itself; rather, it’s a reference to jokes that were cut before the taping, which leads to the topic sentence. — Bilorv ( talk) 22:10, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
Of the decision to release it online, Acaster said that he was "very aware" that extracts posted out of context would become many people's only experience of the material, but that his wording was as precise as possible to avoid misinterpretation.– I'm not sure if "Of the decision to release it online" is necessary here. As far as I can tell, the source doesn't directly connect the decision to release it online and the decision to be careful with the wording. The latter was about other people posting it online. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 17:05, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
Acaster said that he was "very aware" that extracts posted out of context would become many people's only experience of the material. He said his wording was as precise as possible to avoid audience misinterpretation.I considered splitting the facts up but they're together in the source, it creates non sequitur elsewhere and they are both about audience disconnect with the author intent. — Bilorv ( talk) 17:59, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
he did not perform it at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Omissions:
Mental health is a theme in Acaster's stories, including his experience in therapy and a call to the Samaritans. He describes how a relationship ending and issues with his agent led to suicidal thoughts. On "Transgender segment":
In one clip from the show, Acaster is critical of transphobic comedy and mentions Ricky Gervais by name.— Bilorv ( talk) 17:59, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
Out of scope:
The article gives a fair description of the work and its reception, and it does not give undue weight to any ideas. I sampled some critics' reviews, and none had significant negative coverage that was ignored in the article.
No recent disputes.
Poster has a valid non-free use rationale. The other images are Creative Commons. The captions are acceptable, though I do wonder if the Discman caption suggests that it's actually Acaster's personal Discman in the image.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien ( talk · contribs) 02:36, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
James Acaster has been one of my all time favorite comedians since I first saw him on Taskmaster. I'll look forward to this one. Before I forget, I'm the main author of
James Acaster: Repertoire, so if you wanted to "create" that article, then I don't mind if you totally rework or just scrap what I wrote; it was one of the first articles I ever wrote, and I didn't really know what I was doing.
Thebiguglyalien (
talk) 02:36, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
Bilorv, I've reviewed the article. Overall it's pretty good, just a handful of things that need fixing. I'd pay special attention to the synopsis, where it might benefit from some work on the wording and flow. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 14:19, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
General:
Synopsis:
Claiming to notice that he is losing his audience– Even though this isn't the usual "claim" issue, might be better just to say that he says he's losing it or that he's worrying he's losing it.
he abruptly changes tact– Is this the right word?
walk on eggshells around him– Idiom.
The best year of Acaster's life was 1999should be avoided when possible.
While describing a solar eclipse on a family holiday– This makes it sound like he was doing the describing during the holiday. Maybe "while describing a solar eclipse he saw on a family holiday" or "while describing a family holiday in which he saw a solar eclipse".
However, he permits himself one joke about Atkinson having a chicken on his head.– I think the context of why he allowed the joke is important here.
However, he permits himself one joke about Atkinson having a chicken on his head, justified by Atkinson saying it is unnecessary to apologise for funny jokes in the context of a comment Boris Johnson made.— Bilorv ( talk) 22:10, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
Acaster ruined everything as a prank.– This is confusing until after reading the next few sentences. Is there a way to make it clear what this means right away?
According to his agentfor clarify. This joke is needed to establish to the reader (at the top of the paragraph) that Acaster is not earnestly/accurately describing his agent's point of view (without going into original research). — Bilorv ( talk) 22:10, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
thus paradoxically showing she helped him overcome rejection issues– The article doesn't make it clear why it's a paradox.
He involuntarily defecated while at a restaurant– It should be clear he's going back to the embarrassing thing. This didn't happen because he was thrown by the audience.
Luckily– Editorializing.
Touring:
as it felt less exposed to say personal things– Awkward wording.
However, he did not say he had 'quit'.– This seems random and doesn't really fit with the sentence before it.
and announced a tour in the US– If this tour has taken place, then this could be updated.
Filming and release:
released permanently on Vimeo– "permanently" probably isn't necessary.
Reception:
Transgender segment:
which joke about transgender people.– It should make it clear that the jokes are specifically at the expense of transgender people, if that's the case.
All sources appear reliable. Most of them are either newspapers or entertainment magazines.
Spot checks:
He began performing stand-up comedy in 2008, after failing to find success as a drummer.or
Acaster continued writing fictional material as he had with Repertoire
When I originally tried to write a show that was all fictitious, it just didn’t click. You can’t really put your finger on why a lot of the time. Particularly after I filmed all those shows [his Repertoire collection on Netflix], it was hard to be enthusiastic about doing another one of those kind of shows immediately again. The former didn't quite say 2008 (it does say age 23). I've added a couple more sources (New Yorker is the 2008 claim specifically). — Bilorv ( talk) 22:10, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
went viral in January 2020supposed to be 2021?
The title, Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999, is not explained in the special itself; rather, it’s a reference to jokes that were cut before the taping, which leads to the topic sentence. — Bilorv ( talk) 22:10, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
Of the decision to release it online, Acaster said that he was "very aware" that extracts posted out of context would become many people's only experience of the material, but that his wording was as precise as possible to avoid misinterpretation.– I'm not sure if "Of the decision to release it online" is necessary here. As far as I can tell, the source doesn't directly connect the decision to release it online and the decision to be careful with the wording. The latter was about other people posting it online. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 17:05, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
Acaster said that he was "very aware" that extracts posted out of context would become many people's only experience of the material. He said his wording was as precise as possible to avoid audience misinterpretation.I considered splitting the facts up but they're together in the source, it creates non sequitur elsewhere and they are both about audience disconnect with the author intent. — Bilorv ( talk) 17:59, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
he did not perform it at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Omissions:
Mental health is a theme in Acaster's stories, including his experience in therapy and a call to the Samaritans. He describes how a relationship ending and issues with his agent led to suicidal thoughts. On "Transgender segment":
In one clip from the show, Acaster is critical of transphobic comedy and mentions Ricky Gervais by name.— Bilorv ( talk) 17:59, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
Out of scope:
The article gives a fair description of the work and its reception, and it does not give undue weight to any ideas. I sampled some critics' reviews, and none had significant negative coverage that was ignored in the article.
No recent disputes.
Poster has a valid non-free use rationale. The other images are Creative Commons. The captions are acceptable, though I do wonder if the Discman caption suggests that it's actually Acaster's personal Discman in the image.