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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Apetor/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: PCN02WPS ( talk · contribs) 04:56, 29 March 2022 (UTC) reply


Hi there, I'll be reviewing this nomination in the coming days. PCN02WPS ( talk | contribs) 04:56, 29 March 2022 (UTC) reply

Alright, look forward to working with you. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 12:13, 29 March 2022 (UTC) reply
I have made some comments which can be seen below. I'll place the nomination on hold, no rush to address them. PCN02WPS ( talk | contribs) 04:44, 7 April 2022 (UTC) reply
While there are a lot of primary sources used in the article, they are all the subject's YouTube videos and channel, and I don't see primary sources that violate WP:RSPYT or WP:SELFSOURCE, or support anything controversial or contentious, so I'm comfortable giving this article a pass. Well done. PCN02WPS ( talk | contribs) 06:12, 18 April 2022 (UTC) reply

Lead and infobox

  • The first sentence of the article is very long, I'd recommend breaking the sentence after "taking his life".
  • Death date is given twice in the lead, I'd think this is not necessary.
    • I've replaced the second date with a year. I noticed now while editing that I wrote about his year of death in the second paragraph as well: His YouTube career lasted from 2006 until his death in 2021. Should the year be removed in one of these sentences? ArcticSeeress ( talk) 15:00, 7 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • comma needed after "Kongsberg, Norway" per MOS:GEOCOMMA
  • are there dates/years available for his 100,000 and 1,000,000 creator awards?
    • I could only find one for a million subscribers on his about page (i.e. 2020). According to this article, he had 53,000 in 2015. He may or may not have written about getting 100,000 in one of his videos anywhere between those dates, but checking that will have to wait until I'm done with the rest of the review. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 15:00, 7 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • Years active "2006-2021" → an en-dash should be used per MOS:DATERANGE

Personal life

  • comma needed in first sentence per GEOCOMMA as above
  • The first sentence, which contains his birth date, birth place, and his move to Sandefjord, is not sourced.
    • Looks like I put another source between that and the Insider source that confirmed his date of birth; fixed. Also, the source does state his birth place and move to Sandefjord: "Født i Kristiansund", "Bodd på Mosserød i Sandefjord fra han var 6 år". ArcticSeeress ( talk) 17:40, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "According to his about page on YouTube" → to someone unfamiliar with the platform, this would sound very strange; perhaps reword to simply read "According to his YouTube page.."?
    • The Insider source did originally state that it was in the "about" section of his page, but perhaps that's a level of detail that isn't necessary here. Removed. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 17:40, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "nor did he drink alcohol often outside of his videos" → add bolded word
  • A few issues with this sentence: "In November 2018, Eckhoff uploaded a video to YouTube revealing that he had been diagnosed with colorectal cancer earlier that year in March—which he clarified was not due to lifestyle choices, but from chronic inflammatory bowel disease—undergoing surgery later in June"
    • "earlier that year in March" → "in March of that year" or something similar
    • I'd recommend splitting this sentence into two since it reads confusingly if you take out the bit between the dashes. Perhaps a full stop before "which he clarified" and begin the second sentence with "He clarified that the cancer was not due to lifestyle..." and add that he underwent surgery in June to the end of one of the two sentences.
  • This sounds like it is a direct quote from the subject and sounds a bit out of place when stated factually like this; if this is a quote from Apetor I'd put it in quotation marks and I'd say remove it if not.
  • "He mostly recorded without anyone else present, including his more dangerous videos" → perhaps reword this just a bit
    • What exactly is strange about this sentence? Nothing strikes me as particularly off here. Anyhow, I've rewritten it to add more information from the source. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 17:40, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "acquiring over a million views in the span of a week" → MOS:NUMNOTES touches on this just a bit, but replacing "a million" with "one million" reads better to me.
  • In the second sentence of the second paragraph, link vodka since you refer to it multiple times afterward.
  • "...he was encouraged to upload more videos like it, and established the business..." → break this into two sentences, with a full stop after "like it" and with "and" replaced with "He"
  • "...which he developed in the 80s." → change "80s" to "1980s" per MOS:BADDATE

Reception

  • "...notably in Eastern European countries..." → the word "notably" should be avoided per MOS:EDITORIAL
  • Footnote "i", after "Poland" should use an en-dash in the percentage range.
  • "As of November 2021, his videos have been viewed over 390 million times, and his channel has over 1.2 million subscribers" → this does not agree with the numbers given in the infobox, and it sounds strange to have an "as of" statement that is not up to date, so I'd consider either updating this to the present day or switching to something like "At the time of his death"
    • Right, this already existed in the earliest version of the article, and I added the "as of" when I first started editing it. I've replaced it with "by the time of his death". ArcticSeeress ( talk) 18:33, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "over 50 years old to get a million subscribers" → reword to "over 50 years old to reach one million subscribers" (changes in bold)
  • "makes him one of the most popular YouTubers in Norway" → I'd switch to past tense since he is no longer alive and therefore not active on the platform
  • "...channels in Norway and internationally, e.g. after the news section of the Norwegian..." → "e.g." is acceptable for use in articles but it sounds out of place here. I'd go for something like "including" instead
    • I originally contemplated using "including", but I thought that sounded strange coming before "after". I've reworded it. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 18:33, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "...Sandefjord, the town he lives in, experienced..." → change to past tense as he is no longer living
  • "due to his channel, seen for example in 2018, when a group of 16 tourists" → this reads awkwardly; I'd reword or split into two sentences.
  • "from Szczecin, Poland" → comma after Poland
  • "...compared him to Mr. Bean, adding further..." → currently links to Mr. Bean (the TV show); if you're talking about the character then you'll want to link to Mr. Bean (character)
  • "which took place in 285 locations in 30 countries globally" → "globally" seems unnecessary to me here
  • "his stunts have not been without criticism" → switch to past tense
  • "Analysts on Discovery Channel, for example, surmised his alcohol intake..." → per MOS:SAID, To write that someone ... surmised can suggest the degree of the person's carefulness, resoluteness, or access to evidence, even when such things are unverifiable. I'd recommend replacing this word.
  • "In February 2021 after the production of a video..." → comma after "2021"
  • "determined to practice "going into the water, and getting back out again."" → full stop should be outside of quotes per MOS:LQ

Other ventures

  • "Christmas greetings, for 250 kr a piece" → "apiece" is one word
  • "in the 2022 Harald Zwart film Lange flate ballær 3, the sequel to Lange Flate Ballær and Lange Flate Ballær 2, with him playing a villain." → Is there a reason why the first and second editions are all capitalized and not italicized, but the third is both italicized and written in mostly lowercase?
  • "Set to come to theatres on 1 April 2022, Eckhoff was to star..." → this date is now in the past, so the sentence needs updating

Death

  • "Eckhoff fell through the ice at Jakobs dam," → does the lake's name need italics?
    • I used the {{lang}} template, which automatically italicises the text. I just read at MOS:FOREIGNITALIC that it's not required for place names, so I've removed it. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 19:01, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • while linking the full name of CPR is not incorrect and technically doesn't have to be changed, I think using just "...who performed CPR..." would read easier. This one is up to you though.
    • I originally wrote CPR there, but another editor replaced it. I also prefer the original wording, so I'll go with that. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 19:01, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "until the 28th" → "until 28 November", just to avoid anyone potentially getting confused.
  • you could probably link Norway–Poland relations#Resident diplomatic missions to "Norwegian embassy in Poland"
  • add a timezone for the time of his funeral
    • I'd wager most readers could deduce that it's the local time zone where the funeral was held, but alright. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 19:01, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply

Videography

All good.

Notes

All good, with a couple exceptions that are noted above.

References

I'll do a deeper look at these once the comments above have been resolved.

Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 ( talk) 23:00, 10 May 2022 (UTC) reply

  • ... that only 1.5 percent of Norwegian YouTuber Apetor's viewership came from his own country? Source: Oppland Arbeiderblad (subscription required)
    • ALT1: ... that YouTuber Apetor's breakthrough video "On Thin Sea Ice 2" featured him drinking vodka, ice skating, and diving through sea ice? Source: Aftenposten (2015)
    • ALT2: ... that after Norwegian YouTuber Apetor's death in 2021, Polish fans lit candles in his memory outside the Norwegian embassy in Poland? Source: Spider's Web
    • ALT3: ... that YouTuber Apetor worked full-time as an industrial worker despite the success of his videos? Source: Aftenposten (2021)

Improved to Good Article status by ArcticSeeress ( talk). Self-nominated at 18:31, 19 April 2022 (UTC). reply

  • Hi ArcticSeeress, welcome to DYK, I hope you enjoy your stay. Article is long and GA is recent, generally well-referenced throughout without significant copyvio detectable. First DYK so no QPQ is needed. I would go with either ALT1 or ALT2, but otherwise good to go. Juxlos ( talk) 06:14, 20 April 2022 (UTC) reply
Thanks! Reading through the source for ALT2 again, I realised that it's actually the Norwegian embassy in Czechia, not Poland (the source just said "embassy", so I must've assumed it was the Polish one). Here's a corrected ALT2a: ... that after Norwegian YouTuber Apetor's death in 2021, Czech fans lit candles in his memory outside the Norwegian embassy in Prague? ArcticSeeress ( talk) 15:21, 20 April 2022 (UTC) reply
@ Juxlos: Can we have your thoughts on ALT2a above? Thanks. Z1720 ( talk) 02:29, 9 May 2022 (UTC) reply
Sure, no fundamental change there. Juxlos ( talk) 03:19, 9 May 2022 (UTC) reply

To do

  • Seems to have been in a web series of sorts, but the sources run dry in 2017. Also many sources I don't have access to (physical newspapers, paywalled articles). No clue if the project ever got off the ground. Keywords: "apetor", "they came"
  • Was invited to a conference at one point, but the only source is this programme booklet, which isn't enough to work off. I did find this tweet confirming that he did indeed attend, but that's a user-generated source. Maybe other sources will surface at some point.
  • May have contributed to a photo book in 1994 (" Jeg så, jeg så Norge"). It's pretty safe to assume that he is the only photographer in Sandefjord named Tor Eckhoff, but who knows.

ArcticSeeress ( talk) 00:16, 27 November 2022 (UTC) reply

A follow-up over a year later: The third item has been added to the article, but it is only verified with a primary source, which is less than ideal. Reliable sources are unlikely to materialise for the last two items on the list. In regards to the web series: the director, Thomas Lunde, died in December 2023; see this Facebook post and this memorial page. The pilot of the series did not include Apetor, so it is unlikely to be relevant. Unsure if any of this material should be included. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 18:59, 8 February 2024 (UTC) reply
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Apetor/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: PCN02WPS ( talk · contribs) 04:56, 29 March 2022 (UTC) reply


Hi there, I'll be reviewing this nomination in the coming days. PCN02WPS ( talk | contribs) 04:56, 29 March 2022 (UTC) reply

Alright, look forward to working with you. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 12:13, 29 March 2022 (UTC) reply
I have made some comments which can be seen below. I'll place the nomination on hold, no rush to address them. PCN02WPS ( talk | contribs) 04:44, 7 April 2022 (UTC) reply
While there are a lot of primary sources used in the article, they are all the subject's YouTube videos and channel, and I don't see primary sources that violate WP:RSPYT or WP:SELFSOURCE, or support anything controversial or contentious, so I'm comfortable giving this article a pass. Well done. PCN02WPS ( talk | contribs) 06:12, 18 April 2022 (UTC) reply

Lead and infobox

  • The first sentence of the article is very long, I'd recommend breaking the sentence after "taking his life".
  • Death date is given twice in the lead, I'd think this is not necessary.
    • I've replaced the second date with a year. I noticed now while editing that I wrote about his year of death in the second paragraph as well: His YouTube career lasted from 2006 until his death in 2021. Should the year be removed in one of these sentences? ArcticSeeress ( talk) 15:00, 7 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • comma needed after "Kongsberg, Norway" per MOS:GEOCOMMA
  • are there dates/years available for his 100,000 and 1,000,000 creator awards?
    • I could only find one for a million subscribers on his about page (i.e. 2020). According to this article, he had 53,000 in 2015. He may or may not have written about getting 100,000 in one of his videos anywhere between those dates, but checking that will have to wait until I'm done with the rest of the review. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 15:00, 7 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • Years active "2006-2021" → an en-dash should be used per MOS:DATERANGE

Personal life

  • comma needed in first sentence per GEOCOMMA as above
  • The first sentence, which contains his birth date, birth place, and his move to Sandefjord, is not sourced.
    • Looks like I put another source between that and the Insider source that confirmed his date of birth; fixed. Also, the source does state his birth place and move to Sandefjord: "Født i Kristiansund", "Bodd på Mosserød i Sandefjord fra han var 6 år". ArcticSeeress ( talk) 17:40, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "According to his about page on YouTube" → to someone unfamiliar with the platform, this would sound very strange; perhaps reword to simply read "According to his YouTube page.."?
    • The Insider source did originally state that it was in the "about" section of his page, but perhaps that's a level of detail that isn't necessary here. Removed. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 17:40, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "nor did he drink alcohol often outside of his videos" → add bolded word
  • A few issues with this sentence: "In November 2018, Eckhoff uploaded a video to YouTube revealing that he had been diagnosed with colorectal cancer earlier that year in March—which he clarified was not due to lifestyle choices, but from chronic inflammatory bowel disease—undergoing surgery later in June"
    • "earlier that year in March" → "in March of that year" or something similar
    • I'd recommend splitting this sentence into two since it reads confusingly if you take out the bit between the dashes. Perhaps a full stop before "which he clarified" and begin the second sentence with "He clarified that the cancer was not due to lifestyle..." and add that he underwent surgery in June to the end of one of the two sentences.
  • This sounds like it is a direct quote from the subject and sounds a bit out of place when stated factually like this; if this is a quote from Apetor I'd put it in quotation marks and I'd say remove it if not.
  • "He mostly recorded without anyone else present, including his more dangerous videos" → perhaps reword this just a bit
    • What exactly is strange about this sentence? Nothing strikes me as particularly off here. Anyhow, I've rewritten it to add more information from the source. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 17:40, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "acquiring over a million views in the span of a week" → MOS:NUMNOTES touches on this just a bit, but replacing "a million" with "one million" reads better to me.
  • In the second sentence of the second paragraph, link vodka since you refer to it multiple times afterward.
  • "...he was encouraged to upload more videos like it, and established the business..." → break this into two sentences, with a full stop after "like it" and with "and" replaced with "He"
  • "...which he developed in the 80s." → change "80s" to "1980s" per MOS:BADDATE

Reception

  • "...notably in Eastern European countries..." → the word "notably" should be avoided per MOS:EDITORIAL
  • Footnote "i", after "Poland" should use an en-dash in the percentage range.
  • "As of November 2021, his videos have been viewed over 390 million times, and his channel has over 1.2 million subscribers" → this does not agree with the numbers given in the infobox, and it sounds strange to have an "as of" statement that is not up to date, so I'd consider either updating this to the present day or switching to something like "At the time of his death"
    • Right, this already existed in the earliest version of the article, and I added the "as of" when I first started editing it. I've replaced it with "by the time of his death". ArcticSeeress ( talk) 18:33, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "over 50 years old to get a million subscribers" → reword to "over 50 years old to reach one million subscribers" (changes in bold)
  • "makes him one of the most popular YouTubers in Norway" → I'd switch to past tense since he is no longer alive and therefore not active on the platform
  • "...channels in Norway and internationally, e.g. after the news section of the Norwegian..." → "e.g." is acceptable for use in articles but it sounds out of place here. I'd go for something like "including" instead
    • I originally contemplated using "including", but I thought that sounded strange coming before "after". I've reworded it. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 18:33, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "...Sandefjord, the town he lives in, experienced..." → change to past tense as he is no longer living
  • "due to his channel, seen for example in 2018, when a group of 16 tourists" → this reads awkwardly; I'd reword or split into two sentences.
  • "from Szczecin, Poland" → comma after Poland
  • "...compared him to Mr. Bean, adding further..." → currently links to Mr. Bean (the TV show); if you're talking about the character then you'll want to link to Mr. Bean (character)
  • "which took place in 285 locations in 30 countries globally" → "globally" seems unnecessary to me here
  • "his stunts have not been without criticism" → switch to past tense
  • "Analysts on Discovery Channel, for example, surmised his alcohol intake..." → per MOS:SAID, To write that someone ... surmised can suggest the degree of the person's carefulness, resoluteness, or access to evidence, even when such things are unverifiable. I'd recommend replacing this word.
  • "In February 2021 after the production of a video..." → comma after "2021"
  • "determined to practice "going into the water, and getting back out again."" → full stop should be outside of quotes per MOS:LQ

Other ventures

  • "Christmas greetings, for 250 kr a piece" → "apiece" is one word
  • "in the 2022 Harald Zwart film Lange flate ballær 3, the sequel to Lange Flate Ballær and Lange Flate Ballær 2, with him playing a villain." → Is there a reason why the first and second editions are all capitalized and not italicized, but the third is both italicized and written in mostly lowercase?
  • "Set to come to theatres on 1 April 2022, Eckhoff was to star..." → this date is now in the past, so the sentence needs updating

Death

  • "Eckhoff fell through the ice at Jakobs dam," → does the lake's name need italics?
    • I used the {{lang}} template, which automatically italicises the text. I just read at MOS:FOREIGNITALIC that it's not required for place names, so I've removed it. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 19:01, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • while linking the full name of CPR is not incorrect and technically doesn't have to be changed, I think using just "...who performed CPR..." would read easier. This one is up to you though.
    • I originally wrote CPR there, but another editor replaced it. I also prefer the original wording, so I'll go with that. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 19:01, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply
  • "until the 28th" → "until 28 November", just to avoid anyone potentially getting confused.
  • you could probably link Norway–Poland relations#Resident diplomatic missions to "Norwegian embassy in Poland"
  • add a timezone for the time of his funeral
    • I'd wager most readers could deduce that it's the local time zone where the funeral was held, but alright. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 19:01, 8 April 2022 (UTC) reply

Videography

All good.

Notes

All good, with a couple exceptions that are noted above.

References

I'll do a deeper look at these once the comments above have been resolved.

Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 ( talk) 23:00, 10 May 2022 (UTC) reply

  • ... that only 1.5 percent of Norwegian YouTuber Apetor's viewership came from his own country? Source: Oppland Arbeiderblad (subscription required)
    • ALT1: ... that YouTuber Apetor's breakthrough video "On Thin Sea Ice 2" featured him drinking vodka, ice skating, and diving through sea ice? Source: Aftenposten (2015)
    • ALT2: ... that after Norwegian YouTuber Apetor's death in 2021, Polish fans lit candles in his memory outside the Norwegian embassy in Poland? Source: Spider's Web
    • ALT3: ... that YouTuber Apetor worked full-time as an industrial worker despite the success of his videos? Source: Aftenposten (2021)

Improved to Good Article status by ArcticSeeress ( talk). Self-nominated at 18:31, 19 April 2022 (UTC). reply

  • Hi ArcticSeeress, welcome to DYK, I hope you enjoy your stay. Article is long and GA is recent, generally well-referenced throughout without significant copyvio detectable. First DYK so no QPQ is needed. I would go with either ALT1 or ALT2, but otherwise good to go. Juxlos ( talk) 06:14, 20 April 2022 (UTC) reply
Thanks! Reading through the source for ALT2 again, I realised that it's actually the Norwegian embassy in Czechia, not Poland (the source just said "embassy", so I must've assumed it was the Polish one). Here's a corrected ALT2a: ... that after Norwegian YouTuber Apetor's death in 2021, Czech fans lit candles in his memory outside the Norwegian embassy in Prague? ArcticSeeress ( talk) 15:21, 20 April 2022 (UTC) reply
@ Juxlos: Can we have your thoughts on ALT2a above? Thanks. Z1720 ( talk) 02:29, 9 May 2022 (UTC) reply
Sure, no fundamental change there. Juxlos ( talk) 03:19, 9 May 2022 (UTC) reply

To do

  • Seems to have been in a web series of sorts, but the sources run dry in 2017. Also many sources I don't have access to (physical newspapers, paywalled articles). No clue if the project ever got off the ground. Keywords: "apetor", "they came"
  • Was invited to a conference at one point, but the only source is this programme booklet, which isn't enough to work off. I did find this tweet confirming that he did indeed attend, but that's a user-generated source. Maybe other sources will surface at some point.
  • May have contributed to a photo book in 1994 (" Jeg så, jeg så Norge"). It's pretty safe to assume that he is the only photographer in Sandefjord named Tor Eckhoff, but who knows.

ArcticSeeress ( talk) 00:16, 27 November 2022 (UTC) reply

A follow-up over a year later: The third item has been added to the article, but it is only verified with a primary source, which is less than ideal. Reliable sources are unlikely to materialise for the last two items on the list. In regards to the web series: the director, Thomas Lunde, died in December 2023; see this Facebook post and this memorial page. The pilot of the series did not include Apetor, so it is unlikely to be relevant. Unsure if any of this material should be included. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 18:59, 8 February 2024 (UTC) reply

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