The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Averageuntitleduser ( talk · contribs) 23:54, 10 March 2024 (UTC)
Here goes! Comments coming shortly. Averageuntitleduser ( talk) 23:54, 10 March 2024 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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I had no idea how entertaining these television articles were, now I understand why you edit them!
succesful at obtaining— "successfully obtained"
which are currently operated by Bell Media under the CTV 2 banner
It was competing— this could be construed as a business rivalry instead of two competing bids. I had to reread this section to understand "The AltaWest bid" part.
The AltaWest bid was part of CanWest's bid to turn Global into a third national network and envisioned a main station in Calgary.— two things: "envisioned" is conflicting tense-wise, and the sentence is a bit confusing. CanWest, on their own, hasn't been established, nor has their bid. As well, the article leads you to connect "CanWest" and "Global", so referring to them seperately is a bit odd. I was thinking something like: "CanWest Global's plan to turn itself...", but I imagine its not technically correct.
Many of the issues came down to the tapeless playback and editing system— I would clarify/hammer home that, using the system, many news stories ended up lost from the hard drive.
lagged the CBC— is this a common phrase? If not, use "lagged behind".
Craig established the A-Channel Production Fund— when? I'd consider moving/incorporating this section elsewhere, as it feels a bit out of place.
bring the licence terms of its Alberta and Manitoba stations in line— perhaps: "renew the licence terms"?
@ AverageUntitledUser: Addressed all items, but there's one you left no action item on. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:49, 12 March 2024 (UTC)
Citations are fully formatted. All passages are cited to reliable newspapers, primarily local to Edmonton or Calgary. I've looked at a handful of sources and have found little close paraphrasing or copyvio. However, I have three quibbles.
an aggressive, urban, street-level, younger approach— I would emphasize this more in the article
At one news conference, a local politician saw an A-Channel cameraman enter the room and began mouthing his words without speaking.— I'm likely missing something, but I couldn't find this in the source.
adding 20 games to the latter's existing 28-game inventory.— should "20" and "28" not be swapped?
All of its activities are discussed wholly, using a wide variety of refs over a long timeframe.
Looks good on this front. Opinions, like those of the workers on strike, are attributed and presented fairly.
No recent content disputes or edit wars.
Images are all correctly labelled as creative commons, own works, or public domain. The logo and buildings all improve the understanding of the reader.
A very pleasant read, great work!
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
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visual edit |
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Reviewer: Averageuntitleduser ( talk · contribs) 23:54, 10 March 2024 (UTC)
Here goes! Comments coming shortly. Averageuntitleduser ( talk) 23:54, 10 March 2024 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
I had no idea how entertaining these television articles were, now I understand why you edit them!
succesful at obtaining— "successfully obtained"
which are currently operated by Bell Media under the CTV 2 banner
It was competing— this could be construed as a business rivalry instead of two competing bids. I had to reread this section to understand "The AltaWest bid" part.
The AltaWest bid was part of CanWest's bid to turn Global into a third national network and envisioned a main station in Calgary.— two things: "envisioned" is conflicting tense-wise, and the sentence is a bit confusing. CanWest, on their own, hasn't been established, nor has their bid. As well, the article leads you to connect "CanWest" and "Global", so referring to them seperately is a bit odd. I was thinking something like: "CanWest Global's plan to turn itself...", but I imagine its not technically correct.
Many of the issues came down to the tapeless playback and editing system— I would clarify/hammer home that, using the system, many news stories ended up lost from the hard drive.
lagged the CBC— is this a common phrase? If not, use "lagged behind".
Craig established the A-Channel Production Fund— when? I'd consider moving/incorporating this section elsewhere, as it feels a bit out of place.
bring the licence terms of its Alberta and Manitoba stations in line— perhaps: "renew the licence terms"?
@ AverageUntitledUser: Addressed all items, but there's one you left no action item on. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:49, 12 March 2024 (UTC)
Citations are fully formatted. All passages are cited to reliable newspapers, primarily local to Edmonton or Calgary. I've looked at a handful of sources and have found little close paraphrasing or copyvio. However, I have three quibbles.
an aggressive, urban, street-level, younger approach— I would emphasize this more in the article
At one news conference, a local politician saw an A-Channel cameraman enter the room and began mouthing his words without speaking.— I'm likely missing something, but I couldn't find this in the source.
adding 20 games to the latter's existing 28-game inventory.— should "20" and "28" not be swapped?
All of its activities are discussed wholly, using a wide variety of refs over a long timeframe.
Looks good on this front. Opinions, like those of the workers on strike, are attributed and presented fairly.
No recent content disputes or edit wars.
Images are all correctly labelled as creative commons, own works, or public domain. The logo and buildings all improve the understanding of the reader.
A very pleasant read, great work!