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Hello again. Thought I review this one to reduce your unreviewed backlog and it's relatively shorter than your 24 Hours races lol! If you have any questions/comments, feel free to ping me here. As I can't review it all in one sitting, I'll work on this bit by bit and hopefully be done before one week.
Lead Y
"It was held on February 23, in Rockingham, North Carolina, at North Carolina Speedway, before a crowd of 40,000 people" - seems choppy with the commas. I suggest removed the extra commas and/or rephrasing it to reduce the commas.
"On lap 220, Busch became the leader, holding the position for a total of 150 laps." - not exactly right. Busch led three times for a total of 149 laps before Jarrett took the lead, not 150 laps in a row. As you mentioned Wallace led four times with a total of 182 laps, this should be similar for Busch to prevent confusion.
"He was passed by Jarrett in slower traffic for the lead on the 384th lap" - there's no mention of lapped traffic for the 384th lap in the race section.Y
"Jarrett pressured Busch and reclaimed first place on lap 390." - pressured isn't neutral
"The result advanced him from tenth to second in the Drivers' Championship...fifteen points behind Martin.)" - long sentence that i suggest breaking into two for grammar while removing the brackets.
LOL, I didn't state why this was an issue, but you fixed it with the removal of brackets :) Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:35, 7 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"Chevrolet to Ford (with 15 points)" - i recommend removing the brackets to avoid sidenote. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 15:48, 4 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Per Wallace, it should be stated how many times Busch led during the race. It'd prevent the sentence from being misread that Busch led 149 consectuive laps, while this is not the case. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:35, 7 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"The Winston Cup Series (today the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series)" - the bracketed part is not confirmed and also a sidenote. Therefore, I suggest removing this part to avoid out of scope.Y
" It continued to host at least one race on the series calendar every year until its closure from declining attendances in February 2004." - true, but i think the closure is more suited for the 2004 Subway event, not the 2003 edition. Maybe rephrase it to focus on the races leading up to 2003.Y
"The standard track at North Carolina Speedway is a 1.017 mi (1.637 km) four-turn D-shaped oval." - NASCAR Tracks doesn't state it's a "standard" track nor it's D-shaped.
I see you removed "standard" and kept D-shaped with the WRAL source.Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:37, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
"both the front stretch (the location of the start-finish line)" - another bracketed part I don't think is needed, especially since the term is wikilinked.
"Entering the event, the first of the 2003 season...won by nine different competitors" - super long sentence even with the semicolon. I suggest breaking it up into multiple sentences for grammar/flow.
"the first of the 2003 season to be held without restrictor plates being mandated by NASCAR" - yes and no. Yes, Daytona was restricted, and Subway was unrestricted. However, Sun-Sentinel doesn't specifically say Subway was the first unrestricted race of the season. Even though Subway is race two, this source doesn't spell it out.
"won more than once at North Carolina Speedway in the Winston Cup Series in the previous ten years;" - not exactly true. While Gordon and Wallace are multiple time winners for Subway, Earnhart and Jarrett have won both Subway and Popcorn. I think this should only focus on Subway, and not
Popcorn. The ESPN source combines the two races unfortunately.Y
"the past nine races at the track had been won by nine different competitors" - true. But this is also including the Popcorn races, making this out of scope.Y
"Qualifying was considered important at North Carolina Speedway" - "important" is an exact word used by Fayetteville and not neutral.Y
"79% of the winners in the 75 races held at the track" - yes, but this is also including Popcorn. As this is a Subway race, and there's no reference to Popcorn, this is out of scope.Y
"and rarely by the one who led the most laps" - true, but this is only relevant for 15 out of 75 races that were under 400 miles, not all 75 races. Therefore, these two facts aren't connected. Also not relevant to Subway as it's subway+popcorn.Y
What do you mean by tire abasement?Y
"because a large coating of sand was blown onto the asphalt surface from localized gusts" - yes/no. Winds have blown sand onto the track in the past. But, as the ESPN source is two days before the event, it's not confirmed that it happened again like previous events.Y
"and this often changed the event's complexion" - again, this is crystal because the source is two days before the event. The sand does effect the race, but ESPN doesn't say it did effect the track in 2003.Y
Have removed all of the information from the third point below and replaced it with mention of a regulation that NASCAR carried over into the event.
MWright96(talk) 08:30, 27 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Additional points Y
" NASCAR retained a regulation it instituted at the season-opening Daytona 500...five or less laps to go" - Holy long sentence batman LOL! Two or more sentences please.Y
"to prevent any race from being returned to racing speeds by a yellow caution flag" - sounds a bit wordy. I suggest making this clearer.Note: - see last point in this section.
"five or less laps" - word for word copy that i don't think passes limited wording. Slight tweak needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:47, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
"Any event slowed by a yellow caution flag in the event" - sounds like a mixture of past/future tense cause event is being used as a noun and verb. I know this sentence is not an easy one to state clearly. A slight tweak is needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 22:24, 30 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Racing Reference doesn't specifiy the exact team names, even with the owner names. Some are not that obvious i.e. Ricky Craven PPI Motorsports.Note: - see Additional points below.
I see Crash had the team name a bit wrong for Sprague, and you adjusted it. Go figure. Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:27, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Additional points Y
Not sure if Driver Averages is reliable. I've seen only one reliable source (Fox Sports) use it. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:05, 28 November 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Some contradictions between team names:
Slight issues: Wood Brothers / Wood Brothers Racing, Quest Motorsports / Quest Motor Racing, Penske Racing / Penske Racing South
Major issues: Crash says Bodine's team was BelCar Racing, not Carter-Haas Motorsports per RacingAverages. Alternativelly, Crash has Haas Motorsport for Jack Sprague while Racing Averages say Haas CNC Racing. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:18, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Done; note Wood Brothers Racing is the common name for the team Rudd drove for at the time.
MWright96(talk) 21:57, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
For some reason, Racing is dropped from the Crash.net source. I don't doubt that's the name, but this source does not specifically says that. Similar issue with Johnny Benson Jr. missing Jr. which you resolved. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 22:29, 30 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Added a Motorsport Stats citation.
MWright96(talk) 17:29, 1 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Well done finding a FIA approved source. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:14, 4 December 2019 (UTC) Yreply
Standings after the race Y
I think Wallace and Rudd should be included as they are part of the top 10 (even though they tied for tenth with Harvick).
For these sections: the infobox, sections 1-2 of background, and standings after the race are done. There are a few remaining points leftover from section 3 of background, and a couple of points left in the classification part (one each from qualifying / race). --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 21:06, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Practice and qualifying
Paragraph 1 Y
"Rain along with a wind and tornado watch" bit of word for word with the last part. A slight rewording would be needed to pass limited wording.Note: see below
"Rain and a tornado and wind alert" sounds a bit incorrect. I think the only alert was for the tornado. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:39, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"Ryan Newman was fastest with a lap of 23.525 seconds" - the fastest Y
Per above with the tornado alert if you haven't seen it. Also "and a tornado and" sounds redundant with and x2 --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:38, 7 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"with the starting order determined by the competitor's fastest times" - Not in Jayski.
Reworded to mention the specific qualifying details.
MWright96(talk) 08:15, 29 November 2019 (UTC)Note: see belowreply
"Qualifying was delayed for an hour and 15 minutes" - I think it should be mentioned why the qualification was delayed as The Post and Courier states why.Y
"because teams were focused on the race, it created a mixed starting order" - Charleston said teams were focused on their setups, not the race.Note: see below
"Drivers in 37th to 42nd places used a provisional," - Extra source needed to confirm that provisionals were used in Rockingham. The cited Jayski source talks about what provisionals are and the provisionals that were used in Atlanta.Y
Rewritten and added new source.
MWright96(talk) 12:56, 5 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"A seventh provisional was g/iven to a former series champion who failed to qualify for the event;" same as above.Y
"Nadeau lost control of his car during his second lap; he avoided an accident." - sounds vague as it doesn't mentioned what he avoided an accident with.
Removed the latter part of the sentence.
MWright96(talk) 21:20, 4 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
"South Carolina fireman and the race's sponsor spokesman Clay Henry" - Nascar Archives doesn't state Henry was a firefighter from South Carolina. Therefore, that part only needs to be droppedY
"NASCAR announced a competition caution would take place on lap 45" - since Jayski has it, would it be beneficial to mention why a preplanned caution was done? It does sound complete without it, so up to you if you want to explain why.Y
"evaluate the car's performance" - their car's (because more than one driver would be evaluating their car). --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:36, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
"with the rear of Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s car on the 12th lap, pushing a small chunk of sheet metal into Earnhardt's left-rear tire," - Earnhardt said it was the left front, so it wouldn't be the rear of the car nor tire.Y
"causing McMurray's right front fender to detach." - Jayski doesn't specify whose front fender got detached after the collision with Nemechek. New source needed.Y
I checked the racing production as this sentence currently sounds incomplete. It was Nemechek's fender that got detached. The announcer said, around 45 minutes in, that it was probably due to the collision with McMurray. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:08, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
I think he hit the wall because he cut a tire. Therefore, the sentence needs to be flipped. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:08, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
"It was later necessitated on the 45th lap as Earnhardt's left-rear tire burst." - This is inaccurate in two ways. First, Speedway says the tire broke on the 44th lap. Secondly, the pre-planned caution would have happened on the 45th lap even if the tire didn't burst.Y
Again, "probably" is most likely while speedway says "possibility" indicating less likely. Therefore, not the same. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 21:22, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"Additionally, Gordon was put into a wall at his pit box by another driver, damaging his car's right-front corner." - Jayski is a bit unclear with this as it doesn't specify who pushed him, whether it was his pit box, nor which right-front part of the car was damaged. Therefore, I suggest switching out the source.Y
"The caution remained out for five laps. as the field (including Rusty Wallace) made pit stops. Kyle Petty and Martin staggered their pit stops, leading one and two laps, respectively" - racing reference doesn't mention the pitstops for the field nor specifically Petty and Martin. Extra source needed.Y
Removed because am unable to locate a source that specify this.
MWright96(talk) 10:06, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"Kenny Wallace spun towards the right-hand side pit road wall, and heavily damaged the right front of his car," - Jayski says "outside" not right-hand side.Y
"The seven-lap caution had Rusty Wallace retaining the first position" - I think it's the other way around. Wallace had been leading since lap 93 when the third caution happened on 107 and he kept the lead during those laps.Y
"he continued to pace the field as Earnhardt, on lap 122" - Jayski doesn't say Wallace was leading on 122 when Earnhardt hit Nadeau. Additional source needed.Y
"Nadeau was sent spinning out of control; he did not make contact with a wall or other cars." - while he did spin, Jayski isn't specific that Nadeau's car was out of control nor note who / what he didn't hit.Y
"Earnhardt spun on lap 173; he did not damage his car." - Jayski doesn't specify the spunout happened on 173 nor Earnhardt's car was not damaged. Note: i'm going by when the accident happened not when the caution flag started.Y
"Rusty Wallace retained the lead after the resumption of racing on lap 178" - Racing Reference says Martin was leading through the caution from 175-78. However, his lead isn't mentioned in this paragraph. Wallace regained the lead on lap 179.Y
"Rusty Wallace later reported unrectifiable handling problems" - seems out of place as this sentence sounds like it's justifying why Wallace lost the lead to Busch. I suggest removing it.Y
Still close paraphrasing especially with word order / phrasing. I know this one is loaded with details, making it a bit difficult to reword. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:32, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
The rewording is fine, but the sentence structure looks the same even if it's swapped. I suggest rewriting this part in your own words and sentence structure. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 22:35, 9 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Have removed because am unable to reword it comfortably.
MWright96(talk) 12:22, 10 December 2019 (UTC)reply
That's okay. Sometimes it's not simple to summarize a sentence especially when it's loaded with details. Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 01:05, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Also seems out of place as 1) Speedway doesn't specify when this became an issue and 2) I'm assuming this happened somewhere between 175 - 298 based on the Speedway paragraphs. Therefore, I'm not sure based on Speedway alone whether Busch's taking of the lead on 220 happened before or after the tire saving part.
Based on Speedway, I'm not 100% if laps 176-179 happened before tires became important during the race. The source is vague making it a bit difficult to pinpoint where exactly this info should go. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:32, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Moved to the top of the paragraph.
MWright96(talk) 06:57, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Could I request adding an introductory sentence to explain when this became a factor? It looks out of place without some context. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 22:35, 9 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Have removed because am unable to find out when exactly this became an issue.
MWright96(talk) 12:22, 10 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Alrighty. Yeah, the source was vague overall, making it difficult to reason where to put it without having it being out of chronological order. Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 01:05, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"During laps 240 and 252, several teams elected to make green flag pit stops, with Busch retaining the lead" - true. But Jayski doesn't specify Busch was leading during these pit stops. Extra source needed.
Jayski doesn't specify leaders with specific laps unfortunately, just the lap lead totals. Source switching needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:26, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
I still see mention of Busch making a pit stop on 255 which racing reference doesn't state. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:26, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Removed because am unable to find a reference for it.
MWright96(talk) 06:57, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
I should have clarified that Jayski doesn't mention the sixth caution came on 274 nor Earnhardt avoided damage to his car. Also above issue with choppy.Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:26, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"The majority of the field (including Kurt Busch) made pit stops for tires and fuel during the caution." - removal of bracketed part please as it's a side note.Y
"Labonte elected to stay on the track and led at the restart on the 303rd lap." - sorta. he did lead four laps, with the start of his lead during the caution. I think it should be clarified which lap Labonte had the lead when Busch did his pit stop.Y
"Subsequent contact caused Busch to temporarily lose control of his car," - I don't see News Observer saying anything about contact, but the rest is right.Y
Removed the section about contact.
MWright96(talk) 10:06, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"and Jarrett moved to the lead at the start of the following lap." - News & Observer doesn't specify which lap Jarrett retook the lead nor was it the start of the next lap. Extra source / rewording needed.
Still an issue with News & Observer not specifying that it was 384 that Jarrett retook the lead from Busch following the backstretch squeeze. Extra source needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:42, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Similar issue. While 10 laps left does equal 384, Roanoke doesn't specify how many laps the race was, and doesn't have the backstretch squeeze either. All that's really needed is a source that says Jarrett took the lead in 384, alongside the News & Observer source. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:01, 9 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"That allowed Busch to overtake Jarrett to the right two laps later." - Synthesis issue as Roanoke doesn't mention Jarrett was specifically delayed by Sprague. Citation bundling wouldn't work either.Y
Also, it doesn't say Busch retook the lead two laps after the traffic jam with Sprague in 387. So this and the above point could be resolved with another source. Yes, I know that 393-5=387 but Roanoke doesn't say how many laps the race wasY
Okay. Autoweek does say he took the lead in lapped traffic at lap 390. But it doesn't say there was lapped traffic for the remaining 4 laps. Slight tweak. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:46, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Also "thus" isn't netural, as it's suggesting Jarrett held the lead for the remaining four laps cause Busch couldn't retake the lead. Anyone else could have passed Jarrett during those laps besides Busch.Y
"more than all active drivers at the time." - not sure about this. Yes it's true he held the record when the USA Today source was written but "at the time" sounds outdated. Then again, it would be inaccurate if it was removed. Thoughts?
"Jarrett appeared in Victory Lane to celebrate his 31st career win in front of the crowd of 40,000 people" - race reference does not have Victory Lane nor Jarrett having his 31st win.Y
"He credited his teammate Sadler for providing him with a suspension setup that enabled him to win." - kinda right. USA Today does say Sadler worked on the suspension, while Birinigham news said Jarrett credited Sadler for his "notes". But neither source mentions both halves of the sentence making this
WP:SYNTHESIS.Note: see below
"Sadler and Jarrett's crew chief Brad Parrott" - oddly, both Roanoke and Birmingham News reference Parrott as Jarrett's crew chief only, and not also Sadler.Note: see below
Jarrett also dedicated the victory to the "older generation", - i think it should be a colon instead of a comma, but per the next point:
Those [young] guys are really talented...I can hang with them." - Roanoke doesn't have that quote. There is some in the USA Today source but not all of it. Google doesn't help me either with the 46 years old part.
"This one is much more difficult to swallow" - this quote does not exist in Roanoke. However, I did find the quote in Ford Racing source already used.Y
If you wish you to cite Ford Racing instead, the Busch quote needs some copy editing: capitalizing of victory lane and the third sentence rewritten to "I’m real upset that we didn’t win."Y
"Third-placed Kenseth said he was proud of his team" - I don't really see this part unless you're referring to "we had a good day" part. Kenseth talks a lot more about his car than his team lol!Y
"Sadler tested at the track beforehand and provided Jarrett with a suspension setup that allowed his teammate to win" - sounds promotional with the wording. I think this needs to be reworded.
While Sadler did help Jarrett's team pick which setup to use, I don't think the supsension that Sadler provided specifically allowed Jarrett to win. Parrott focused more on Sadler and Fox's help in the testing and didn't mention the suspension. Y
"Busch commented on his second consecutive second-place finish of 2003" - USA Today doesn't have the consecutive second place finishes, but the adjacent Birmingham News source does. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 17:23, 4 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
"Sadler said the close collaboration between the two would help Robert Yates Racing achieve more success during the year." - Almost. This quote is by Parrott, not Sadler in terms of future wins. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:44, 7 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Wallace's and Earnhardt's quotes seems extensive to me. I suggest either trimming them down and/or paraphrasing them. Out of the two, I'm more concerned about Earnhardt's quote.
"Rusty Wallace, who led the most laps of any other driver (182) until he fell to sixth" - redundant as it's already in the last paragraph of the race section. Also not mentioned it was the "most" laps led.Y
"He acknowledged the contact with Jeff Gordon's" -> He acknowledged Jeff Gordon's contact with him (or something like that) as Gordon smacked into him, not the other way around.Y
"McMurray said he believed his fifth-place result increased his confidence," - I don't think his win boosted his confidence. While he said it made him "feel good", the confidence was about the journalists/meeting a new crew chief.Y
"a damn bullet" when he was leading and praised it," - praised doesn't seem right to signal the transition from "damn bullet" to "track getting black". I'd suggest a different wording to introduce the 3/4s quoted part as it's different from the other part.Y
"the race took three hours, 23 minutes and 19 seconds to complete" - almost. 29 seconds, not 19. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:49, 3 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Plus, the article does not mention Wallace's handling problems, so I suggest dropping that part. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 04:41, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"as causing tyre damage and rubbing" -> tire damage (only cause it's an American race) in the Post-race section.
Do'h my Britishness creeping in there.
MWright96(talk) 21:20, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
No worries. I do the same being Canadian ;) --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:30, 7 December 2019 (UTC) Yreply
There are contradicting info between the caution #s with Race Reference and Jayski. I'll have to check the race production to see whether it effect the article prose or not. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:09, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
As race sections took awhile, and I need to review the lead, I'll decide my overall evaluation of the article tomorrow. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 04:38, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
I'll be checking the race sections later as I'm taking a break from reviewing the left.
Apart from race paragraphs. here's what's leftover:
Points in the lead section (i just reviewed it)Y
Qualifying Y: Weather wording in p1, Fastest lap times, provisionals and race setups in p2, Nadeau hitting the wall and Burton piroutetting in p3.
Post race Y: bit of work in p1, transistion word in Wallace's p2 quote,
Caption wording for Wallace.Y
Stuff in the extra stuff i spotted section. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:59, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: Based on the small amount of leftover points in most of these sections (excluding race sections) plus your diligence of going through the sections while I was reviewing the article, I'm willing to place this article on hold for a week than reassess from there. If any more points are needed to be address in the race section, I'll ping you again with an update. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 18:46, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: Okay, there is a bit of work leftover is the race section paragraphs excluding P3. Most have a few issues, with the big one being various issues in P4. After these issues from P1-P6 have been addressed, I'll run a grammar check again as there've been a lot of edits to this article. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:52, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: As this is coming up to the last day of the initial hold, there's just one bit left in p4: new source indicating Busch held the lead in 253. As for the other two removals in p4, i understand your reasoning. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 01:02, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: Alrighty. For the last point, Racing Reference doesn't mention any pitstops with Busch 253 lap restart. If you drop this part only, you'll be all set to go. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 20:22, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: Perfect. There's a bit of punctuation cleanup I'll have to address, but that doesn't fall under GA so I'll pass this article. Congrats! --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 20:47, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply
This article is part of WikiProject NASCAR, an attempt to improve and standardize articles related to
NASCAR. If you would like to participate, you can edit the article attached to this page, you can visit the
project to-do page, or visit the
project page, where you can join the project and/or contribute to the
discussion.NASCARWikipedia:WikiProject NASCARTemplate:WikiProject NASCARNASCAR articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject United States, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of topics relating to the
United States of America on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the ongoing discussions.
Hello again. Thought I review this one to reduce your unreviewed backlog and it's relatively shorter than your 24 Hours races lol! If you have any questions/comments, feel free to ping me here. As I can't review it all in one sitting, I'll work on this bit by bit and hopefully be done before one week.
Lead Y
"It was held on February 23, in Rockingham, North Carolina, at North Carolina Speedway, before a crowd of 40,000 people" - seems choppy with the commas. I suggest removed the extra commas and/or rephrasing it to reduce the commas.
"On lap 220, Busch became the leader, holding the position for a total of 150 laps." - not exactly right. Busch led three times for a total of 149 laps before Jarrett took the lead, not 150 laps in a row. As you mentioned Wallace led four times with a total of 182 laps, this should be similar for Busch to prevent confusion.
"He was passed by Jarrett in slower traffic for the lead on the 384th lap" - there's no mention of lapped traffic for the 384th lap in the race section.Y
"Jarrett pressured Busch and reclaimed first place on lap 390." - pressured isn't neutral
"The result advanced him from tenth to second in the Drivers' Championship...fifteen points behind Martin.)" - long sentence that i suggest breaking into two for grammar while removing the brackets.
LOL, I didn't state why this was an issue, but you fixed it with the removal of brackets :) Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:35, 7 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"Chevrolet to Ford (with 15 points)" - i recommend removing the brackets to avoid sidenote. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 15:48, 4 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Per Wallace, it should be stated how many times Busch led during the race. It'd prevent the sentence from being misread that Busch led 149 consectuive laps, while this is not the case. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:35, 7 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"The Winston Cup Series (today the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series)" - the bracketed part is not confirmed and also a sidenote. Therefore, I suggest removing this part to avoid out of scope.Y
" It continued to host at least one race on the series calendar every year until its closure from declining attendances in February 2004." - true, but i think the closure is more suited for the 2004 Subway event, not the 2003 edition. Maybe rephrase it to focus on the races leading up to 2003.Y
"The standard track at North Carolina Speedway is a 1.017 mi (1.637 km) four-turn D-shaped oval." - NASCAR Tracks doesn't state it's a "standard" track nor it's D-shaped.
I see you removed "standard" and kept D-shaped with the WRAL source.Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:37, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
"both the front stretch (the location of the start-finish line)" - another bracketed part I don't think is needed, especially since the term is wikilinked.
"Entering the event, the first of the 2003 season...won by nine different competitors" - super long sentence even with the semicolon. I suggest breaking it up into multiple sentences for grammar/flow.
"the first of the 2003 season to be held without restrictor plates being mandated by NASCAR" - yes and no. Yes, Daytona was restricted, and Subway was unrestricted. However, Sun-Sentinel doesn't specifically say Subway was the first unrestricted race of the season. Even though Subway is race two, this source doesn't spell it out.
"won more than once at North Carolina Speedway in the Winston Cup Series in the previous ten years;" - not exactly true. While Gordon and Wallace are multiple time winners for Subway, Earnhart and Jarrett have won both Subway and Popcorn. I think this should only focus on Subway, and not
Popcorn. The ESPN source combines the two races unfortunately.Y
"the past nine races at the track had been won by nine different competitors" - true. But this is also including the Popcorn races, making this out of scope.Y
"Qualifying was considered important at North Carolina Speedway" - "important" is an exact word used by Fayetteville and not neutral.Y
"79% of the winners in the 75 races held at the track" - yes, but this is also including Popcorn. As this is a Subway race, and there's no reference to Popcorn, this is out of scope.Y
"and rarely by the one who led the most laps" - true, but this is only relevant for 15 out of 75 races that were under 400 miles, not all 75 races. Therefore, these two facts aren't connected. Also not relevant to Subway as it's subway+popcorn.Y
What do you mean by tire abasement?Y
"because a large coating of sand was blown onto the asphalt surface from localized gusts" - yes/no. Winds have blown sand onto the track in the past. But, as the ESPN source is two days before the event, it's not confirmed that it happened again like previous events.Y
"and this often changed the event's complexion" - again, this is crystal because the source is two days before the event. The sand does effect the race, but ESPN doesn't say it did effect the track in 2003.Y
Have removed all of the information from the third point below and replaced it with mention of a regulation that NASCAR carried over into the event.
MWright96(talk) 08:30, 27 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Additional points Y
" NASCAR retained a regulation it instituted at the season-opening Daytona 500...five or less laps to go" - Holy long sentence batman LOL! Two or more sentences please.Y
"to prevent any race from being returned to racing speeds by a yellow caution flag" - sounds a bit wordy. I suggest making this clearer.Note: - see last point in this section.
"five or less laps" - word for word copy that i don't think passes limited wording. Slight tweak needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:47, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
"Any event slowed by a yellow caution flag in the event" - sounds like a mixture of past/future tense cause event is being used as a noun and verb. I know this sentence is not an easy one to state clearly. A slight tweak is needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 22:24, 30 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Racing Reference doesn't specifiy the exact team names, even with the owner names. Some are not that obvious i.e. Ricky Craven PPI Motorsports.Note: - see Additional points below.
I see Crash had the team name a bit wrong for Sprague, and you adjusted it. Go figure. Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:27, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Additional points Y
Not sure if Driver Averages is reliable. I've seen only one reliable source (Fox Sports) use it. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:05, 28 November 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Some contradictions between team names:
Slight issues: Wood Brothers / Wood Brothers Racing, Quest Motorsports / Quest Motor Racing, Penske Racing / Penske Racing South
Major issues: Crash says Bodine's team was BelCar Racing, not Carter-Haas Motorsports per RacingAverages. Alternativelly, Crash has Haas Motorsport for Jack Sprague while Racing Averages say Haas CNC Racing. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:18, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Done; note Wood Brothers Racing is the common name for the team Rudd drove for at the time.
MWright96(talk) 21:57, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
For some reason, Racing is dropped from the Crash.net source. I don't doubt that's the name, but this source does not specifically says that. Similar issue with Johnny Benson Jr. missing Jr. which you resolved. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 22:29, 30 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Added a Motorsport Stats citation.
MWright96(talk) 17:29, 1 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Well done finding a FIA approved source. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:14, 4 December 2019 (UTC) Yreply
Standings after the race Y
I think Wallace and Rudd should be included as they are part of the top 10 (even though they tied for tenth with Harvick).
For these sections: the infobox, sections 1-2 of background, and standings after the race are done. There are a few remaining points leftover from section 3 of background, and a couple of points left in the classification part (one each from qualifying / race). --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 21:06, 28 November 2019 (UTC)reply
Practice and qualifying
Paragraph 1 Y
"Rain along with a wind and tornado watch" bit of word for word with the last part. A slight rewording would be needed to pass limited wording.Note: see below
"Rain and a tornado and wind alert" sounds a bit incorrect. I think the only alert was for the tornado. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:39, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"Ryan Newman was fastest with a lap of 23.525 seconds" - the fastest Y
Per above with the tornado alert if you haven't seen it. Also "and a tornado and" sounds redundant with and x2 --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:38, 7 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"with the starting order determined by the competitor's fastest times" - Not in Jayski.
Reworded to mention the specific qualifying details.
MWright96(talk) 08:15, 29 November 2019 (UTC)Note: see belowreply
"Qualifying was delayed for an hour and 15 minutes" - I think it should be mentioned why the qualification was delayed as The Post and Courier states why.Y
"because teams were focused on the race, it created a mixed starting order" - Charleston said teams were focused on their setups, not the race.Note: see below
"Drivers in 37th to 42nd places used a provisional," - Extra source needed to confirm that provisionals were used in Rockingham. The cited Jayski source talks about what provisionals are and the provisionals that were used in Atlanta.Y
Rewritten and added new source.
MWright96(talk) 12:56, 5 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"A seventh provisional was g/iven to a former series champion who failed to qualify for the event;" same as above.Y
"Nadeau lost control of his car during his second lap; he avoided an accident." - sounds vague as it doesn't mentioned what he avoided an accident with.
Removed the latter part of the sentence.
MWright96(talk) 21:20, 4 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
"South Carolina fireman and the race's sponsor spokesman Clay Henry" - Nascar Archives doesn't state Henry was a firefighter from South Carolina. Therefore, that part only needs to be droppedY
"NASCAR announced a competition caution would take place on lap 45" - since Jayski has it, would it be beneficial to mention why a preplanned caution was done? It does sound complete without it, so up to you if you want to explain why.Y
"evaluate the car's performance" - their car's (because more than one driver would be evaluating their car). --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:36, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
"with the rear of Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s car on the 12th lap, pushing a small chunk of sheet metal into Earnhardt's left-rear tire," - Earnhardt said it was the left front, so it wouldn't be the rear of the car nor tire.Y
"causing McMurray's right front fender to detach." - Jayski doesn't specify whose front fender got detached after the collision with Nemechek. New source needed.Y
I checked the racing production as this sentence currently sounds incomplete. It was Nemechek's fender that got detached. The announcer said, around 45 minutes in, that it was probably due to the collision with McMurray. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:08, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
I think he hit the wall because he cut a tire. Therefore, the sentence needs to be flipped. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:08, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
"It was later necessitated on the 45th lap as Earnhardt's left-rear tire burst." - This is inaccurate in two ways. First, Speedway says the tire broke on the 44th lap. Secondly, the pre-planned caution would have happened on the 45th lap even if the tire didn't burst.Y
Again, "probably" is most likely while speedway says "possibility" indicating less likely. Therefore, not the same. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 21:22, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"Additionally, Gordon was put into a wall at his pit box by another driver, damaging his car's right-front corner." - Jayski is a bit unclear with this as it doesn't specify who pushed him, whether it was his pit box, nor which right-front part of the car was damaged. Therefore, I suggest switching out the source.Y
"The caution remained out for five laps. as the field (including Rusty Wallace) made pit stops. Kyle Petty and Martin staggered their pit stops, leading one and two laps, respectively" - racing reference doesn't mention the pitstops for the field nor specifically Petty and Martin. Extra source needed.Y
Removed because am unable to locate a source that specify this.
MWright96(talk) 10:06, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"Kenny Wallace spun towards the right-hand side pit road wall, and heavily damaged the right front of his car," - Jayski says "outside" not right-hand side.Y
"The seven-lap caution had Rusty Wallace retaining the first position" - I think it's the other way around. Wallace had been leading since lap 93 when the third caution happened on 107 and he kept the lead during those laps.Y
"he continued to pace the field as Earnhardt, on lap 122" - Jayski doesn't say Wallace was leading on 122 when Earnhardt hit Nadeau. Additional source needed.Y
"Nadeau was sent spinning out of control; he did not make contact with a wall or other cars." - while he did spin, Jayski isn't specific that Nadeau's car was out of control nor note who / what he didn't hit.Y
"Earnhardt spun on lap 173; he did not damage his car." - Jayski doesn't specify the spunout happened on 173 nor Earnhardt's car was not damaged. Note: i'm going by when the accident happened not when the caution flag started.Y
"Rusty Wallace retained the lead after the resumption of racing on lap 178" - Racing Reference says Martin was leading through the caution from 175-78. However, his lead isn't mentioned in this paragraph. Wallace regained the lead on lap 179.Y
"Rusty Wallace later reported unrectifiable handling problems" - seems out of place as this sentence sounds like it's justifying why Wallace lost the lead to Busch. I suggest removing it.Y
Still close paraphrasing especially with word order / phrasing. I know this one is loaded with details, making it a bit difficult to reword. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:32, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
The rewording is fine, but the sentence structure looks the same even if it's swapped. I suggest rewriting this part in your own words and sentence structure. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 22:35, 9 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Have removed because am unable to reword it comfortably.
MWright96(talk) 12:22, 10 December 2019 (UTC)reply
That's okay. Sometimes it's not simple to summarize a sentence especially when it's loaded with details. Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 01:05, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Also seems out of place as 1) Speedway doesn't specify when this became an issue and 2) I'm assuming this happened somewhere between 175 - 298 based on the Speedway paragraphs. Therefore, I'm not sure based on Speedway alone whether Busch's taking of the lead on 220 happened before or after the tire saving part.
Based on Speedway, I'm not 100% if laps 176-179 happened before tires became important during the race. The source is vague making it a bit difficult to pinpoint where exactly this info should go. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:32, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Moved to the top of the paragraph.
MWright96(talk) 06:57, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Could I request adding an introductory sentence to explain when this became a factor? It looks out of place without some context. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 22:35, 9 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Have removed because am unable to find out when exactly this became an issue.
MWright96(talk) 12:22, 10 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Alrighty. Yeah, the source was vague overall, making it difficult to reason where to put it without having it being out of chronological order. Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 01:05, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"During laps 240 and 252, several teams elected to make green flag pit stops, with Busch retaining the lead" - true. But Jayski doesn't specify Busch was leading during these pit stops. Extra source needed.
Jayski doesn't specify leaders with specific laps unfortunately, just the lap lead totals. Source switching needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:26, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
I still see mention of Busch making a pit stop on 255 which racing reference doesn't state. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:26, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Removed because am unable to find a reference for it.
MWright96(talk) 06:57, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
I should have clarified that Jayski doesn't mention the sixth caution came on 274 nor Earnhardt avoided damage to his car. Also above issue with choppy.Y --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:26, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"The majority of the field (including Kurt Busch) made pit stops for tires and fuel during the caution." - removal of bracketed part please as it's a side note.Y
"Labonte elected to stay on the track and led at the restart on the 303rd lap." - sorta. he did lead four laps, with the start of his lead during the caution. I think it should be clarified which lap Labonte had the lead when Busch did his pit stop.Y
"Subsequent contact caused Busch to temporarily lose control of his car," - I don't see News Observer saying anything about contact, but the rest is right.Y
Removed the section about contact.
MWright96(talk) 10:06, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"and Jarrett moved to the lead at the start of the following lap." - News & Observer doesn't specify which lap Jarrett retook the lead nor was it the start of the next lap. Extra source / rewording needed.
Still an issue with News & Observer not specifying that it was 384 that Jarrett retook the lead from Busch following the backstretch squeeze. Extra source needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:42, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
Similar issue. While 10 laps left does equal 384, Roanoke doesn't specify how many laps the race was, and doesn't have the backstretch squeeze either. All that's really needed is a source that says Jarrett took the lead in 384, alongside the News & Observer source. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:01, 9 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"That allowed Busch to overtake Jarrett to the right two laps later." - Synthesis issue as Roanoke doesn't mention Jarrett was specifically delayed by Sprague. Citation bundling wouldn't work either.Y
Also, it doesn't say Busch retook the lead two laps after the traffic jam with Sprague in 387. So this and the above point could be resolved with another source. Yes, I know that 393-5=387 but Roanoke doesn't say how many laps the race wasY
Okay. Autoweek does say he took the lead in lapped traffic at lap 390. But it doesn't say there was lapped traffic for the remaining 4 laps. Slight tweak. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:46, 8 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Also "thus" isn't netural, as it's suggesting Jarrett held the lead for the remaining four laps cause Busch couldn't retake the lead. Anyone else could have passed Jarrett during those laps besides Busch.Y
"more than all active drivers at the time." - not sure about this. Yes it's true he held the record when the USA Today source was written but "at the time" sounds outdated. Then again, it would be inaccurate if it was removed. Thoughts?
"Jarrett appeared in Victory Lane to celebrate his 31st career win in front of the crowd of 40,000 people" - race reference does not have Victory Lane nor Jarrett having his 31st win.Y
"He credited his teammate Sadler for providing him with a suspension setup that enabled him to win." - kinda right. USA Today does say Sadler worked on the suspension, while Birinigham news said Jarrett credited Sadler for his "notes". But neither source mentions both halves of the sentence making this
WP:SYNTHESIS.Note: see below
"Sadler and Jarrett's crew chief Brad Parrott" - oddly, both Roanoke and Birmingham News reference Parrott as Jarrett's crew chief only, and not also Sadler.Note: see below
Jarrett also dedicated the victory to the "older generation", - i think it should be a colon instead of a comma, but per the next point:
Those [young] guys are really talented...I can hang with them." - Roanoke doesn't have that quote. There is some in the USA Today source but not all of it. Google doesn't help me either with the 46 years old part.
"This one is much more difficult to swallow" - this quote does not exist in Roanoke. However, I did find the quote in Ford Racing source already used.Y
If you wish you to cite Ford Racing instead, the Busch quote needs some copy editing: capitalizing of victory lane and the third sentence rewritten to "I’m real upset that we didn’t win."Y
"Third-placed Kenseth said he was proud of his team" - I don't really see this part unless you're referring to "we had a good day" part. Kenseth talks a lot more about his car than his team lol!Y
"Sadler tested at the track beforehand and provided Jarrett with a suspension setup that allowed his teammate to win" - sounds promotional with the wording. I think this needs to be reworded.
While Sadler did help Jarrett's team pick which setup to use, I don't think the supsension that Sadler provided specifically allowed Jarrett to win. Parrott focused more on Sadler and Fox's help in the testing and didn't mention the suspension. Y
"Busch commented on his second consecutive second-place finish of 2003" - USA Today doesn't have the consecutive second place finishes, but the adjacent Birmingham News source does. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 17:23, 4 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
"Sadler said the close collaboration between the two would help Robert Yates Racing achieve more success during the year." - Almost. This quote is by Parrott, not Sadler in terms of future wins. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:44, 7 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Wallace's and Earnhardt's quotes seems extensive to me. I suggest either trimming them down and/or paraphrasing them. Out of the two, I'm more concerned about Earnhardt's quote.
"Rusty Wallace, who led the most laps of any other driver (182) until he fell to sixth" - redundant as it's already in the last paragraph of the race section. Also not mentioned it was the "most" laps led.Y
"He acknowledged the contact with Jeff Gordon's" -> He acknowledged Jeff Gordon's contact with him (or something like that) as Gordon smacked into him, not the other way around.Y
"McMurray said he believed his fifth-place result increased his confidence," - I don't think his win boosted his confidence. While he said it made him "feel good", the confidence was about the journalists/meeting a new crew chief.Y
"a damn bullet" when he was leading and praised it," - praised doesn't seem right to signal the transition from "damn bullet" to "track getting black". I'd suggest a different wording to introduce the 3/4s quoted part as it's different from the other part.Y
"the race took three hours, 23 minutes and 19 seconds to complete" - almost. 29 seconds, not 19. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:49, 3 December 2019 (UTC)Yreply
Plus, the article does not mention Wallace's handling problems, so I suggest dropping that part. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 04:41, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
"as causing tyre damage and rubbing" -> tire damage (only cause it's an American race) in the Post-race section.
Do'h my Britishness creeping in there.
MWright96(talk) 21:20, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
No worries. I do the same being Canadian ;) --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 02:30, 7 December 2019 (UTC) Yreply
There are contradicting info between the caution #s with Race Reference and Jayski. I'll have to check the race production to see whether it effect the article prose or not. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:09, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
As race sections took awhile, and I need to review the lead, I'll decide my overall evaluation of the article tomorrow. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 04:38, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
I'll be checking the race sections later as I'm taking a break from reviewing the left.
Apart from race paragraphs. here's what's leftover:
Points in the lead section (i just reviewed it)Y
Qualifying Y: Weather wording in p1, Fastest lap times, provisionals and race setups in p2, Nadeau hitting the wall and Burton piroutetting in p3.
Post race Y: bit of work in p1, transistion word in Wallace's p2 quote,
Caption wording for Wallace.Y
Stuff in the extra stuff i spotted section. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 16:59, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: Based on the small amount of leftover points in most of these sections (excluding race sections) plus your diligence of going through the sections while I was reviewing the article, I'm willing to place this article on hold for a week than reassess from there. If any more points are needed to be address in the race section, I'll ping you again with an update. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 18:46, 4 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: Okay, there is a bit of work leftover is the race section paragraphs excluding P3. Most have a few issues, with the big one being various issues in P4. After these issues from P1-P6 have been addressed, I'll run a grammar check again as there've been a lot of edits to this article. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 03:52, 8 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: As this is coming up to the last day of the initial hold, there's just one bit left in p4: new source indicating Busch held the lead in 253. As for the other two removals in p4, i understand your reasoning. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 01:02, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: Alrighty. For the last point, Racing Reference doesn't mention any pitstops with Busch 253 lap restart. If you drop this part only, you'll be all set to go. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 20:22, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: Perfect. There's a bit of punctuation cleanup I'll have to address, but that doesn't fall under GA so I'll pass this article. Congrats! --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk) 20:47, 11 December 2019 (UTC)reply