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Nominator: GraziePrego ( talk · contribs) 04:36, 30 January 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: I'll take this one. Please note, I view reviews as a conversation to improve the article. Please feel free to discuss anything that I propose. SusunW ( talk · contribs) 15:44, 1 June 2024 (UTC)
Steggall was educated for 18 months in Sydneyhas no citation. Maley's article above confirms she went to school at Queenwood beginning in 1989, but does not confirm 18 months. Please provide a RS.
Albertville in 1992, at the age of 17is cited to The Compendium, p. 218, but it says nothing about Albertville or her age on that page. The previous page in inaccessible to me, but given other entries, it doesn't give bio info on athletes, just the name of the event. Sports-reference.com, which needs to be cited, confirms Albertville as her debut and her age.
event at Sankt Antoncitation goes to a blank page of the Daily Telegraph and no links in Wayback work. This confirms she made it into the top 10 at St. Anton, but doesn't confirm that was her first time in the top tier.
In December, Steggall placedthe link goes to a blank page of the Daily Telegraph and no links in Wayback work. This confirms her 1 second loss to Pärson. After this you need to say that the 2nd place finish made her the first woman from Australia to win an alpine medal in a World Cup competition, cited to Sport Australia Hall of Fame.
She had earlier placed seventh at Park City, but this looks like it says she finished 2nd in Park City and was ranked 7th overall?
Steggall's Olympic career ended...Why is this sentence not part of the previous paragraph? One sentence paragraphs typically conflict with WP:Proseline as they aren't actually prose, but function as timelines or bullet points. I think it needs to be part of the preceding paragraph.
Steggall is Australia's most internationally successful alpine skierand
In the Winter Olympics she is Australia's first individual medallist, first female medallist, and only medallist in alpine skiing.None of which is cited in the body of the article. The lede is supposed to be a summary of already cited material, so you need this information verified in this section. The link to the Sport Australia Hall of Fame confirms most of that (not only alpine medalist, so if you have a source for that, it needs to be included or removed from the lede), but shows "most internationally successful alpine skier" is a direct quote. (I'm going back to the above and note where you should input the other info from this link.)
Steggall retired from skiing in 2002is not verified in Family Law Chambers but is confirmed in the Sport Australia Hall of Fame. Change link.
She completed a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in communications and media studies from Griffith University, Brisbane, Queensland, and then studied law. She was admitted as a solicitor while working for her father's legal practice, Roper & Steggall, in Manly, New South Wales. In 2008, she was admitted to the NSW Bar.again not verified in Family Law Chambers. This link from the International Ski and Snowboard Federation confirms most of it, but does not give the name of her father's firm. Perhaps link New South Wales Bar Association
Her principal areas of practice as a barrister were family law, sports law, commercial law, real-property law, local government and planning law, corporations and insolvency law, and equity.does not appear to be supported by Family Law Chambers. The Ski Federation confirms sports law. This says sport and family law and this says sport, family, and commercial law. Do you have a source that confirms all of that?
Steggall was councillor to the NSW Bar Association and chair of its Health, Sports, and Recreation Committee from 2010 to 2013is really close to the source material "Steggall served as councillor to the NSW Bar Association from 2010 to 2013 and was Chair of its Health, Sports and Recreation Committee from 2010 to 2013". You need to rephrase. Also, I would probably site it to the Ski Federation site which is not primary.
campaign.[23][17]refs aren't in numerical order.
During the debate, Steggalland Abbott clashed on measures to address climate change, such as stronger vehicle emissions standards, and support for electric cars and charging stations. Abbott opposed subsidizing the car industry. Although Steggall did not favor a mandate for 50 percent electric vehicles by 2030, she supported policies that would move toward that target and sufficient charging stations to support the higher electric use. She felt with better controls in place emissions could be reduced more than 45 percent by 2030. She also supported the creation of an independent advisory to phase out dependence on coal and spur development of renewable energy projects. (Obviously your call, but the source does focus on this topic most.)
vote of 57.24%is this one. Correct archive link.
over 4,100She had 40,034 votes, he had 35,935 a difference of 4,099. Shouldn't it say just under 4,100?
Her victory marked the first time that the traditional blue-ribbon Liberal seat had been out of the hands of the Liberals or their predecessors since its formation in 1922. Don't see this in the cited source. It says "Warringah was first contested at the 1922 election and has always been a safe conservative seat" this says Warringah is "traditionally regarded as a blue-ribbon Liberal seat" and this says it voted for conservative MPs since it was founded.
In March 2021, Steggall joinedI don't think we know when she joined, just that she was a member of the group. The article is dated March 2021, but says "who last year met with Mr Assange in Britain, said the point of the meeting was to express the group's support for Mr Assange" so we know only that it was formed prior to 2020. Perhaps just "In foreign policy matters Steggall, part of the "Bring Julian Assange Home" parliamentary group, opposed extradition of Assange to face charges in the United States on his publishing rights.
2022 Beijing Winter Olympics, The Australian is paywalled and should be marked {{ subscription required}} or you could change it out for this link, which says she felt it pressures athletes to make a political statement for their governments.
Steggall retained her seatJoin to the previous paragraph and just say "She retained".
Deves.[37] Steggall increased her marginafter flows better if you say "Deves, and increased her margin" Link is to the 2019 election with Abbott. Change it to 2022.
large multinational companies evading taxis cited to a primary link by her. this is a secondary source, which appears to be reliable as it has an editorial board who oversees its reporters. After evading tax, I'd probably add "but protected retirees' uperannuations from excessive taxation, per this
making changes to the planned stage three tax cuts. What changes?
In 2007, her relationship with marketing executive Tim Irving was made publicis cited to an article from the Telegraph but both the link and archive go to a blank page in the Herald Sun.
and married later that yearalso says it's an article from the Telegraph but there is no article at the link and the archive page is an error. If you cannot find reliable links, better to just show what you can glean from Maley, they met in 2007, he was a marketing executive and he had 3 daughters. SusunW ( talk) 20:27, 3 June 2024 (UTC)
Okay, that's it from me. Thanks for your work on her. I really enjoyed learning about her life. Please ping me when you have addressed the points above, or if you need to discuss something with me. SusunW ( talk) 20:43, 3 June 2024 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Nominator: GraziePrego ( talk · contribs) 04:36, 30 January 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: I'll take this one. Please note, I view reviews as a conversation to improve the article. Please feel free to discuss anything that I propose. SusunW ( talk · contribs) 15:44, 1 June 2024 (UTC)
Steggall was educated for 18 months in Sydneyhas no citation. Maley's article above confirms she went to school at Queenwood beginning in 1989, but does not confirm 18 months. Please provide a RS.
Albertville in 1992, at the age of 17is cited to The Compendium, p. 218, but it says nothing about Albertville or her age on that page. The previous page in inaccessible to me, but given other entries, it doesn't give bio info on athletes, just the name of the event. Sports-reference.com, which needs to be cited, confirms Albertville as her debut and her age.
event at Sankt Antoncitation goes to a blank page of the Daily Telegraph and no links in Wayback work. This confirms she made it into the top 10 at St. Anton, but doesn't confirm that was her first time in the top tier.
In December, Steggall placedthe link goes to a blank page of the Daily Telegraph and no links in Wayback work. This confirms her 1 second loss to Pärson. After this you need to say that the 2nd place finish made her the first woman from Australia to win an alpine medal in a World Cup competition, cited to Sport Australia Hall of Fame.
She had earlier placed seventh at Park City, but this looks like it says she finished 2nd in Park City and was ranked 7th overall?
Steggall's Olympic career ended...Why is this sentence not part of the previous paragraph? One sentence paragraphs typically conflict with WP:Proseline as they aren't actually prose, but function as timelines or bullet points. I think it needs to be part of the preceding paragraph.
Steggall is Australia's most internationally successful alpine skierand
In the Winter Olympics she is Australia's first individual medallist, first female medallist, and only medallist in alpine skiing.None of which is cited in the body of the article. The lede is supposed to be a summary of already cited material, so you need this information verified in this section. The link to the Sport Australia Hall of Fame confirms most of that (not only alpine medalist, so if you have a source for that, it needs to be included or removed from the lede), but shows "most internationally successful alpine skier" is a direct quote. (I'm going back to the above and note where you should input the other info from this link.)
Steggall retired from skiing in 2002is not verified in Family Law Chambers but is confirmed in the Sport Australia Hall of Fame. Change link.
She completed a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in communications and media studies from Griffith University, Brisbane, Queensland, and then studied law. She was admitted as a solicitor while working for her father's legal practice, Roper & Steggall, in Manly, New South Wales. In 2008, she was admitted to the NSW Bar.again not verified in Family Law Chambers. This link from the International Ski and Snowboard Federation confirms most of it, but does not give the name of her father's firm. Perhaps link New South Wales Bar Association
Her principal areas of practice as a barrister were family law, sports law, commercial law, real-property law, local government and planning law, corporations and insolvency law, and equity.does not appear to be supported by Family Law Chambers. The Ski Federation confirms sports law. This says sport and family law and this says sport, family, and commercial law. Do you have a source that confirms all of that?
Steggall was councillor to the NSW Bar Association and chair of its Health, Sports, and Recreation Committee from 2010 to 2013is really close to the source material "Steggall served as councillor to the NSW Bar Association from 2010 to 2013 and was Chair of its Health, Sports and Recreation Committee from 2010 to 2013". You need to rephrase. Also, I would probably site it to the Ski Federation site which is not primary.
campaign.[23][17]refs aren't in numerical order.
During the debate, Steggalland Abbott clashed on measures to address climate change, such as stronger vehicle emissions standards, and support for electric cars and charging stations. Abbott opposed subsidizing the car industry. Although Steggall did not favor a mandate for 50 percent electric vehicles by 2030, she supported policies that would move toward that target and sufficient charging stations to support the higher electric use. She felt with better controls in place emissions could be reduced more than 45 percent by 2030. She also supported the creation of an independent advisory to phase out dependence on coal and spur development of renewable energy projects. (Obviously your call, but the source does focus on this topic most.)
vote of 57.24%is this one. Correct archive link.
over 4,100She had 40,034 votes, he had 35,935 a difference of 4,099. Shouldn't it say just under 4,100?
Her victory marked the first time that the traditional blue-ribbon Liberal seat had been out of the hands of the Liberals or their predecessors since its formation in 1922. Don't see this in the cited source. It says "Warringah was first contested at the 1922 election and has always been a safe conservative seat" this says Warringah is "traditionally regarded as a blue-ribbon Liberal seat" and this says it voted for conservative MPs since it was founded.
In March 2021, Steggall joinedI don't think we know when she joined, just that she was a member of the group. The article is dated March 2021, but says "who last year met with Mr Assange in Britain, said the point of the meeting was to express the group's support for Mr Assange" so we know only that it was formed prior to 2020. Perhaps just "In foreign policy matters Steggall, part of the "Bring Julian Assange Home" parliamentary group, opposed extradition of Assange to face charges in the United States on his publishing rights.
2022 Beijing Winter Olympics, The Australian is paywalled and should be marked {{ subscription required}} or you could change it out for this link, which says she felt it pressures athletes to make a political statement for their governments.
Steggall retained her seatJoin to the previous paragraph and just say "She retained".
Deves.[37] Steggall increased her marginafter flows better if you say "Deves, and increased her margin" Link is to the 2019 election with Abbott. Change it to 2022.
large multinational companies evading taxis cited to a primary link by her. this is a secondary source, which appears to be reliable as it has an editorial board who oversees its reporters. After evading tax, I'd probably add "but protected retirees' uperannuations from excessive taxation, per this
making changes to the planned stage three tax cuts. What changes?
In 2007, her relationship with marketing executive Tim Irving was made publicis cited to an article from the Telegraph but both the link and archive go to a blank page in the Herald Sun.
and married later that yearalso says it's an article from the Telegraph but there is no article at the link and the archive page is an error. If you cannot find reliable links, better to just show what you can glean from Maley, they met in 2007, he was a marketing executive and he had 3 daughters. SusunW ( talk) 20:27, 3 June 2024 (UTC)
Okay, that's it from me. Thanks for your work on her. I really enjoyed learning about her life. Please ping me when you have addressed the points above, or if you need to discuss something with me. SusunW ( talk) 20:43, 3 June 2024 (UTC)