GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Nominator: Joereddington ( talk · contribs) 06:34, 2 April 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Schierbecker ( talk · contribs) 18:17, 22 April 2024 (UTC)
This article appears to still be a little ways off from GA.
at least two others accessed user account informationconnected to Belan?
Yahoo also claimed that there was no evidence that the attackers were still in the systemWas this proven? Article suggests otherwise.
From October 2014 to at least November 2016, Belan and at least two others accessed user account informationUsing the fruits of the 2014 breach?
The filing noted that the company believed the data breach had been conducted through a cookie-based attackThe September filing or the November filing?
it was reported that account names and passwords for about 200 million Yahoo accounts were presented for sale on the darknet market site.Which darknet site? Was this related to the 2014 breach? Do we know if anyone purchased them?
On hold pending improvements. Schierbecker ( talk) 18:17, 22 April 2024 (UTC)
Schierbecker ( talk) 20:57, 30 April 2024 (UTC)
Former CEO Marissa MayerShould say "Former CEO Marissa Mayer, who was CEO at the time of the breach"
His memoir, written after his release,Try "His memoir published in YEAR".
In a letter to Mayer, six Democratic U.S. SenatorsDid she respond?
Before trial could commenceBefore the trial?
enlisted a Canadian hacker, Karim Baratov, to break into accountsTry "enlisted Canadian hacker Karim Baratov to break into accounts"
In June 2016, it was reported that account names and passwords for about 200 million Yahoo accountsTry "In June 2016 account names and passwords for about 200 million Yahoo accounts were listed for sale" on the darknet market site TheRealDeal." No comma before TheRealDeal. The source says "supposed credentials". Did further investigation substantiate whether this was real? Was "Peace"'s identity ever tied to an individual (or is alleged to be an individual) named in the FBI's indictment or in other inquiries? See p. 1271 in that pdf. Here Peace seems to claim he's just a data broker and is unsure of the providence of the material, saying it may have been from 2012. It's unclear if this alleged breach is one of the two this article deals with or a third breach.
Baratov, the only man arrested, was extradited to the United States
when?
In late November, Ireland's Data Protection Commissioner (DPC)This sentence could be split up.
Yahoo was not investigating the breach but just examining itWhat's a better way of saying this? That the DPC was unsatisfied with the thoroughness of Yahoo's investigation?
awaiting information from Yahoo on allegations that it helped the U.S. government scan users' emails,a whopper of an accusation (also echoed by Sputnik). Was this allegation connected with either of the two breaches that this article talks about? If so, say so.
Instead, Yahoo last week posted an alert on its website asking users who were potentially affected by the breach to “promptly change their passwords,” as well as any security questions and answers used to access their accounts. [2] I'll send a screenshot if you need.
Marissa Mayer had reportedly denied Stamos and his security team sufficient funds to implement recommended stronger security measures,recommended by who?
CEO Lowell McAdam said he wasn't shocked by the hackCEO of what company? Did Verizon renogotiate the deal as a result of the disclosure, as suggested here?
Mayer's equity compensation bonus for 2016 and 2017 was pulled.totaling $14 million. (p. 1279) Lots of good info here.
Yahoo eventually agreed to settlestrike unnecessary word "eventually".
the FBI officially charged four menstrike word "officially".
Yahoo's previous SEC filing on September 9, prior to the breach announcementThe first SEC filing was filed to fulfill a regulatory requirement for the Verizon sale? Should say so.
Verizon only become aware of the 2014 breach just two days prior to the Yahoo'sIt should be noted that Yahoo disclosed this to Verizon. (p. 1271, AU Law Review)
After Yahoo was identified by Edward Snowden as a frequent target for state-sponsored hackers, it took the company a full year before hiring a dedicated chief information security officer, Alex Stamosimplies that Stamos was hired to shore up security as a result of the Snowden leak, which highlighted security weaknesses at Yahoo. Was that so? Also the way this was written implies that Yahoo was slow to act on the revelations and that his hiring was overdue? True?
Neither breach was revealed publicly until September 2016.Try "Although Yahoo was aware" and use active voice. Maybe a good place to highlight the compartmentalization at Yahoo. Also somewhere in the body of the article.
significant implications for Verizon Communication's acquisition of Yahoo.Should mention that the acquisition was happening contemporaneously.
No information has been released about the method used.Use {{as of|YEAR}} for statements likely to become dated.
it took the company a full yeara bit arguementative. Be a little more objective.
Marissa Mayer had reportedly denied StamosIf I recall from the source correctly, this allegation should be attributed to Stamos, right?
he departed the company by 2015.does the source say why?
Belan and at least two hackers connected to him accessed user account information"Belan and allegedly two..." since these individuals haven't been prosecuted.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) confirmedwhen?
In a regulatory filing in 2017,SEC? Mention the agency.
all three billion user accountstry "all three billion Yahoo accounts".
The four men accused include Alexsey Belan, a hacker on the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list,presumably you mean that Belan was on the FBI most-wanted list, not that there was another individual that was also on the most-wanted list.
The FBI claimed that Karim Baratov was paid by Dokuchaev and Sushchin to use data obtained by the Yahoo breaches to breachIs there another way to say this without repeating the word "breach". Use active voice (i.e. "D. and S. paid").
number of respondents in the classdid you mean to write "in the class action lawsuit"? Or is this the appropriate way to write this?
On October 28, 2016probably don't need the exact date.
at the request of U.S. intelligence services in a letterrefs should go after punctuation.
They asked Yahoo to communicate all aspects of the data breach to the EU authorities,spell out EU.
Yahoo was not investigating the breach but just examining itstill needs work. See earlier suggestion. Schierbecker ( talk) 16:22, 22 May 2024 (UTC)
Nearly there.
These incidents not onlyeditorializing a bit. Try "These incidents led to the indictment of four individuals linked to the latter breach, including the Canadian hacker Karim Baratov who received a five-year prison sentence and also prompted widespread criticism of Yahoo for their delayed response.
As of 2024, no information has been released about the method used.WP:FAILEDVERIFICATION. Try "As of 2017 Yahoo had been unable to determine the cause of the 2013 breach."
Former CEO of Yahoo Marissa Mayer, who was CEOrepetitive. Try "Marissa Mayer, who was CEO of Yahoo at the time of the breach."
believed to by the US Justice Department
extraneous word
the plaintiffs contenduse past tense
✓ Pass Congratulations! Schierbecker ( talk) 15:21, 29 May 2024 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Nominator: Joereddington ( talk · contribs) 06:34, 2 April 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Schierbecker ( talk · contribs) 18:17, 22 April 2024 (UTC)
This article appears to still be a little ways off from GA.
at least two others accessed user account informationconnected to Belan?
Yahoo also claimed that there was no evidence that the attackers were still in the systemWas this proven? Article suggests otherwise.
From October 2014 to at least November 2016, Belan and at least two others accessed user account informationUsing the fruits of the 2014 breach?
The filing noted that the company believed the data breach had been conducted through a cookie-based attackThe September filing or the November filing?
it was reported that account names and passwords for about 200 million Yahoo accounts were presented for sale on the darknet market site.Which darknet site? Was this related to the 2014 breach? Do we know if anyone purchased them?
On hold pending improvements. Schierbecker ( talk) 18:17, 22 April 2024 (UTC)
Schierbecker ( talk) 20:57, 30 April 2024 (UTC)
Former CEO Marissa MayerShould say "Former CEO Marissa Mayer, who was CEO at the time of the breach"
His memoir, written after his release,Try "His memoir published in YEAR".
In a letter to Mayer, six Democratic U.S. SenatorsDid she respond?
Before trial could commenceBefore the trial?
enlisted a Canadian hacker, Karim Baratov, to break into accountsTry "enlisted Canadian hacker Karim Baratov to break into accounts"
In June 2016, it was reported that account names and passwords for about 200 million Yahoo accountsTry "In June 2016 account names and passwords for about 200 million Yahoo accounts were listed for sale" on the darknet market site TheRealDeal." No comma before TheRealDeal. The source says "supposed credentials". Did further investigation substantiate whether this was real? Was "Peace"'s identity ever tied to an individual (or is alleged to be an individual) named in the FBI's indictment or in other inquiries? See p. 1271 in that pdf. Here Peace seems to claim he's just a data broker and is unsure of the providence of the material, saying it may have been from 2012. It's unclear if this alleged breach is one of the two this article deals with or a third breach.
Baratov, the only man arrested, was extradited to the United States
when?
In late November, Ireland's Data Protection Commissioner (DPC)This sentence could be split up.
Yahoo was not investigating the breach but just examining itWhat's a better way of saying this? That the DPC was unsatisfied with the thoroughness of Yahoo's investigation?
awaiting information from Yahoo on allegations that it helped the U.S. government scan users' emails,a whopper of an accusation (also echoed by Sputnik). Was this allegation connected with either of the two breaches that this article talks about? If so, say so.
Instead, Yahoo last week posted an alert on its website asking users who were potentially affected by the breach to “promptly change their passwords,” as well as any security questions and answers used to access their accounts. [2] I'll send a screenshot if you need.
Marissa Mayer had reportedly denied Stamos and his security team sufficient funds to implement recommended stronger security measures,recommended by who?
CEO Lowell McAdam said he wasn't shocked by the hackCEO of what company? Did Verizon renogotiate the deal as a result of the disclosure, as suggested here?
Mayer's equity compensation bonus for 2016 and 2017 was pulled.totaling $14 million. (p. 1279) Lots of good info here.
Yahoo eventually agreed to settlestrike unnecessary word "eventually".
the FBI officially charged four menstrike word "officially".
Yahoo's previous SEC filing on September 9, prior to the breach announcementThe first SEC filing was filed to fulfill a regulatory requirement for the Verizon sale? Should say so.
Verizon only become aware of the 2014 breach just two days prior to the Yahoo'sIt should be noted that Yahoo disclosed this to Verizon. (p. 1271, AU Law Review)
After Yahoo was identified by Edward Snowden as a frequent target for state-sponsored hackers, it took the company a full year before hiring a dedicated chief information security officer, Alex Stamosimplies that Stamos was hired to shore up security as a result of the Snowden leak, which highlighted security weaknesses at Yahoo. Was that so? Also the way this was written implies that Yahoo was slow to act on the revelations and that his hiring was overdue? True?
Neither breach was revealed publicly until September 2016.Try "Although Yahoo was aware" and use active voice. Maybe a good place to highlight the compartmentalization at Yahoo. Also somewhere in the body of the article.
significant implications for Verizon Communication's acquisition of Yahoo.Should mention that the acquisition was happening contemporaneously.
No information has been released about the method used.Use {{as of|YEAR}} for statements likely to become dated.
it took the company a full yeara bit arguementative. Be a little more objective.
Marissa Mayer had reportedly denied StamosIf I recall from the source correctly, this allegation should be attributed to Stamos, right?
he departed the company by 2015.does the source say why?
Belan and at least two hackers connected to him accessed user account information"Belan and allegedly two..." since these individuals haven't been prosecuted.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) confirmedwhen?
In a regulatory filing in 2017,SEC? Mention the agency.
all three billion user accountstry "all three billion Yahoo accounts".
The four men accused include Alexsey Belan, a hacker on the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list,presumably you mean that Belan was on the FBI most-wanted list, not that there was another individual that was also on the most-wanted list.
The FBI claimed that Karim Baratov was paid by Dokuchaev and Sushchin to use data obtained by the Yahoo breaches to breachIs there another way to say this without repeating the word "breach". Use active voice (i.e. "D. and S. paid").
number of respondents in the classdid you mean to write "in the class action lawsuit"? Or is this the appropriate way to write this?
On October 28, 2016probably don't need the exact date.
at the request of U.S. intelligence services in a letterrefs should go after punctuation.
They asked Yahoo to communicate all aspects of the data breach to the EU authorities,spell out EU.
Yahoo was not investigating the breach but just examining itstill needs work. See earlier suggestion. Schierbecker ( talk) 16:22, 22 May 2024 (UTC)
Nearly there.
These incidents not onlyeditorializing a bit. Try "These incidents led to the indictment of four individuals linked to the latter breach, including the Canadian hacker Karim Baratov who received a five-year prison sentence and also prompted widespread criticism of Yahoo for their delayed response.
As of 2024, no information has been released about the method used.WP:FAILEDVERIFICATION. Try "As of 2017 Yahoo had been unable to determine the cause of the 2013 breach."
Former CEO of Yahoo Marissa Mayer, who was CEOrepetitive. Try "Marissa Mayer, who was CEO of Yahoo at the time of the breach."
believed to by the US Justice Department
extraneous word
the plaintiffs contenduse past tense
✓ Pass Congratulations! Schierbecker ( talk) 15:21, 29 May 2024 (UTC)