Seems okay to me. I find it odd that he has a biography but you did not use it.
As I said to Bryce on my talk page, I tend to avoid the full bios so I don't get caught up in too much detail, though I know this particular one isn't a big book (it could hardly be, the guy was only 23!). I think the level of detail here is pretty reasonable for B/GA-level, and would obviously look into this book to add the content necessary for ACR, which'd be after it's bedded down at GA. Cheers,
Ian Rose (
talk)
13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)reply
Would it be possible to expand further on his flying before he got shot down? (Boy is this a short-lived hero - he only lasts two and a half months - and what was it - 52 sorties?)
"Federal government announced on 13 October that the relatives of the slain man had been informed of his death." Well, yes, but only on the day before!
Your article seems to imply that Newton was executed by the Kempitai, which you know to be untrue. (I can't find the bit where it says they interrogated him? Can you point me to this? )
First of all, I don't think what's there implies that at all, it mentions them interrogating him, and then the guy who captured him executing him. However, that said, I think the Kempitai reference may be a furphy. It was part of the original stub that I rewrote and I left it there when I saw Stephens' account (cited) mention the Koman Tai, which I took to be a corruption of Kempitai - but perhaps I was too hasty there... Cheers,
Ian Rose (
talk)
13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)reply
Like the bit above, when I said "the article implies" what I really meant was "the dopey reviewer inferred but knows better now that he has checked." (The ADB does this to me all the time. It's full of hair-splitting phrases that make it tough to paraphrase unless you check against the sources, and if you do that, what use was the ADB?)
Tks mate, I had another snippet to add to the article that didn't actually relate to any comments above so was going to respond then but no matter - appreciate you taking the time to review. Cheers,
Ian Rose (
talk)
14:42, 11 March 2009 (UTC)reply
Seems okay to me. I find it odd that he has a biography but you did not use it.
As I said to Bryce on my talk page, I tend to avoid the full bios so I don't get caught up in too much detail, though I know this particular one isn't a big book (it could hardly be, the guy was only 23!). I think the level of detail here is pretty reasonable for B/GA-level, and would obviously look into this book to add the content necessary for ACR, which'd be after it's bedded down at GA. Cheers,
Ian Rose (
talk)
13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)reply
Would it be possible to expand further on his flying before he got shot down? (Boy is this a short-lived hero - he only lasts two and a half months - and what was it - 52 sorties?)
"Federal government announced on 13 October that the relatives of the slain man had been informed of his death." Well, yes, but only on the day before!
Your article seems to imply that Newton was executed by the Kempitai, which you know to be untrue. (I can't find the bit where it says they interrogated him? Can you point me to this? )
First of all, I don't think what's there implies that at all, it mentions them interrogating him, and then the guy who captured him executing him. However, that said, I think the Kempitai reference may be a furphy. It was part of the original stub that I rewrote and I left it there when I saw Stephens' account (cited) mention the Koman Tai, which I took to be a corruption of Kempitai - but perhaps I was too hasty there... Cheers,
Ian Rose (
talk)
13:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)reply
Like the bit above, when I said "the article implies" what I really meant was "the dopey reviewer inferred but knows better now that he has checked." (The ADB does this to me all the time. It's full of hair-splitting phrases that make it tough to paraphrase unless you check against the sources, and if you do that, what use was the ADB?)
Tks mate, I had another snippet to add to the article that didn't actually relate to any comments above so was going to respond then but no matter - appreciate you taking the time to review. Cheers,
Ian Rose (
talk)
14:42, 11 March 2009 (UTC)reply