The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Lead - fine. Some things from here aren't mentioned in the main body of the article, but are about Coldplay rather than Champion so that's ok.
Early life - fine.
Career - fine.
Musical style - fine.
Personal life - fine.
Discography - fine, but probably needs a ref.
Further reading - noted Roach, Martin (2003) is one of the refs, but the ref is only page 41 rather than the whole book, so that's fine.
Overall, quite a few quotes, but I think it's ok, and is well-written.
Optional grammar suggestions:
"anthropology at University College London" to "anthropology from University College London"
"Highfield suburb of the city close" to "Highfield suburb of the city, close"
" his older brother, they attended Highfield Church regularly as well." to "his older brother, and they attended Highfield Church regularly."
"Champion did not always enjoyed" to "Champion did not always enjoy"
"in spite of basically not" to "in spite of not"
"investor of their namesake" to "investor in their namesake.
"he visited University of Southampton" to "he visited the University of Southampton"
"also owns a Yamaha hardware" to "also owns Yamaha hardware"
"not confident to play" to "not confident enough to play"
"became part his performance" to "became part of his performance"
"parents Tim and Sara used" to "parents, Tim and Sara, used"
"also commented" to "also commented that"
"During Music of the Spheres World Tour" to "During the Music of the Spheres World Tour"
I'm sure there's Oxford comma issues, but definitely not required for GA.
I still need to do a copyvio check (Earwig isn't working for me right now for some reason), and to look at sourcing, but I'll put it on hold in the meantime. I should be able to have another look within the coming days. Thanks. -
Kj cheetham (
talk)
17:07, 27 August 2023 (UTC)reply
[2] Parlophone just... didn't disclosed it, at least not in their most recent press releases anyway. I placed that note because most record labels report the amount of records (albums + singles) to pretend their artists are bigger than they actually are.
[31] I'm assuming you confused reference [32] with this one. I specified the page now too, I personally prefer 5 rather than 4 because in 5 the writer states "energetic as always", compared to describing just one song.
[36] I replaced it with a more accessible reference, I own all of Coldplay's albums and can confirm it's true.
[38] I don't like to split references, it looks cluttered. The Guardian's article mentions he is "father of a two-year-old and three-week-old twins", which is three.
Oh, just a further note on the sales note. Some users kept trying to change "albums" to "records", that was another reason for me to create it. Placing as "records" and pretending those are not album sales alone undermines
Coldplay's actual success. GustavoCza (
talk •
contribs)
20:20, 27 August 2023 (UTC)reply
GustavoCza I missed the word "twins" in The Guardian article, hence me thinking it said only two, and I think I had mixed up [31] and [32], apologies! All fine now except for [42], as it feels like a bit of
WP:OR to say it was every city he visited without a source explicitly saying that. Maybe just change to something like "for cities visited" or similar, and add another example? -
Kj cheetham (
talk)
10:15, 28 August 2023 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Lead - fine. Some things from here aren't mentioned in the main body of the article, but are about Coldplay rather than Champion so that's ok.
Early life - fine.
Career - fine.
Musical style - fine.
Personal life - fine.
Discography - fine, but probably needs a ref.
Further reading - noted Roach, Martin (2003) is one of the refs, but the ref is only page 41 rather than the whole book, so that's fine.
Overall, quite a few quotes, but I think it's ok, and is well-written.
Optional grammar suggestions:
"anthropology at University College London" to "anthropology from University College London"
"Highfield suburb of the city close" to "Highfield suburb of the city, close"
" his older brother, they attended Highfield Church regularly as well." to "his older brother, and they attended Highfield Church regularly."
"Champion did not always enjoyed" to "Champion did not always enjoy"
"in spite of basically not" to "in spite of not"
"investor of their namesake" to "investor in their namesake.
"he visited University of Southampton" to "he visited the University of Southampton"
"also owns a Yamaha hardware" to "also owns Yamaha hardware"
"not confident to play" to "not confident enough to play"
"became part his performance" to "became part of his performance"
"parents Tim and Sara used" to "parents, Tim and Sara, used"
"also commented" to "also commented that"
"During Music of the Spheres World Tour" to "During the Music of the Spheres World Tour"
I'm sure there's Oxford comma issues, but definitely not required for GA.
I still need to do a copyvio check (Earwig isn't working for me right now for some reason), and to look at sourcing, but I'll put it on hold in the meantime. I should be able to have another look within the coming days. Thanks. -
Kj cheetham (
talk)
17:07, 27 August 2023 (UTC)reply
[2] Parlophone just... didn't disclosed it, at least not in their most recent press releases anyway. I placed that note because most record labels report the amount of records (albums + singles) to pretend their artists are bigger than they actually are.
[31] I'm assuming you confused reference [32] with this one. I specified the page now too, I personally prefer 5 rather than 4 because in 5 the writer states "energetic as always", compared to describing just one song.
[36] I replaced it with a more accessible reference, I own all of Coldplay's albums and can confirm it's true.
[38] I don't like to split references, it looks cluttered. The Guardian's article mentions he is "father of a two-year-old and three-week-old twins", which is three.
Oh, just a further note on the sales note. Some users kept trying to change "albums" to "records", that was another reason for me to create it. Placing as "records" and pretending those are not album sales alone undermines
Coldplay's actual success. GustavoCza (
talk •
contribs)
20:20, 27 August 2023 (UTC)reply
GustavoCza I missed the word "twins" in The Guardian article, hence me thinking it said only two, and I think I had mixed up [31] and [32], apologies! All fine now except for [42], as it feels like a bit of
WP:OR to say it was every city he visited without a source explicitly saying that. Maybe just change to something like "for cities visited" or similar, and add another example? -
Kj cheetham (
talk)
10:15, 28 August 2023 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.