This article is within the scope of WikiProject Songs, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
songs on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.SongsWikipedia:WikiProject SongsTemplate:WikiProject Songssong articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Billie Eilish, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Billie Eilish on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Billie EilishWikipedia:WikiProject Billie EilishTemplate:WikiProject Billie EilishBillie Eilish articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Electronic music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Electronic music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Electronic musicWikipedia:WikiProject Electronic musicTemplate:WikiProject Electronic musicelectronic music articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Women in Music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Women in music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Women in MusicWikipedia:WikiProject Women in MusicTemplate:WikiProject Women in MusicWomen in music articles
"the latter handled the production" → "the latter handled production"
Don't see any referencing of heartbreak in the body so this is
WP:OR right now
Mention the critical reception in a new second sentence of the second para; start this sentence with the title of the song before mentioning the reviews
Also, give mention of what was praised/commented on if possible
Swap the order of the live performances and chart position sentences around
"The song was performed live" → "It was performed live"
"The songs title was inspired" → "She stated that the song's title was inspired"
"“When I was older I used to be a sailor, but I drowned in a storm.”" → ""When I was older I used to be a sailor, but I drowned in a storm."" since the speech marks are formatted incorrectly right now; the punctuation can stay within quotes here because it is a full sentence
"Eilish revealed that the 2018 movie" → "Eilish revealed the 2018 movie"
[3][1][4] put in numerical order
Release date is incorrect in the single sentence and mention that it was for digital download and streaming in various countries
Not done As you have not mentioned it being in various countries and why are the labels different here from in the infobox? --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
05:36, 6 June 2020 (UTC)reply
"added to the Japanese edition of Eilish's debut album" → "included on the Japanese edition of Eilish's debut studio album"
"According to Wandera Hussein of The Fader, Eilish's auto-tuned vocals come in, saying it" → "Wandera Hussein of The Fader said of Eilish's auto-tuned vocals coming in that it"
Maybe add mention of the lyrics relating to heartbreak?
[16][12][13] put in numerical order
"In the flood." are" → "In the flood" are" since the quote ending indicates it's the end of the lines
"of the trees burning" → "of trees burning"
"outside of a house."" → "outside of a house." since this is not inside a quote so why is it here?
"Upon release, "When I Was Older" was generally praised by" → ""When I Was Older" was met with generally positive reviews from"
"and is "shaping up" → "and "shaping up"
"called the song" → "called it"
"Derrick Rossignol, writing for Uproxx magazine, stated" → "Rossignol stated"
"how “When I Was Older” has" → "how "When I Was Older" has"
"although its" → "although wrote its"
"and call it a" → "and called the track a"
"praised the song for the lyrics" → "praised the track for the lyrics"
"limited success on the charts" → "limited success on record charts"
Remove wikilink on Billboard at this point per
WP:OVERLINK
"US Alternative Digital Song Sales" → "Alternative Digital Song Sales" and target to
Billboard charts
"number seven on the New Zealand Hot Singles Chart,[19] number three on the Sweden Heatseeker chart,[20] and number nine" → "number 7 on the New Zealand Hot Singles Chart,[19] number 3 on the Sweden Heatseeker chart,[20] and number 9" per
MOS:NUM instating the comparative values need to be consistent
[22][23][24] put them all at the end of the sentence since it's only three refs
Change ref 2 to citing Rolling Stone instead of RollingStone; for suggestions like this where I have italicised the parameter, I am suggesting for work/website to be used as that auto italicises things so I thought I'd clarify to stop any confusion
MOS:QWQ issues for ref 4
Use the numerous citations template for ref 5 to verify the release was in various countries and only wikilink
iTunes Store the first citation plus add the region retailer in brackets;
iTunes Store (US), for example
When there are speech marks that you placed inside the titles of references, replace them with ' instead since ref titles themselves are automatically put into speech marks so you don't want any added speech marks from the title parameter to any refs. --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
20:35, 5 June 2020 (UTC)reply
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Songs, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
songs on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.SongsWikipedia:WikiProject SongsTemplate:WikiProject Songssong articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Billie Eilish, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Billie Eilish on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Billie EilishWikipedia:WikiProject Billie EilishTemplate:WikiProject Billie EilishBillie Eilish articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Electronic music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Electronic music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Electronic musicWikipedia:WikiProject Electronic musicTemplate:WikiProject Electronic musicelectronic music articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Women in Music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Women in music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Women in MusicWikipedia:WikiProject Women in MusicTemplate:WikiProject Women in MusicWomen in music articles
"the latter handled the production" → "the latter handled production"
Don't see any referencing of heartbreak in the body so this is
WP:OR right now
Mention the critical reception in a new second sentence of the second para; start this sentence with the title of the song before mentioning the reviews
Also, give mention of what was praised/commented on if possible
Swap the order of the live performances and chart position sentences around
"The song was performed live" → "It was performed live"
"The songs title was inspired" → "She stated that the song's title was inspired"
"“When I was older I used to be a sailor, but I drowned in a storm.”" → ""When I was older I used to be a sailor, but I drowned in a storm."" since the speech marks are formatted incorrectly right now; the punctuation can stay within quotes here because it is a full sentence
"Eilish revealed that the 2018 movie" → "Eilish revealed the 2018 movie"
[3][1][4] put in numerical order
Release date is incorrect in the single sentence and mention that it was for digital download and streaming in various countries
Not done As you have not mentioned it being in various countries and why are the labels different here from in the infobox? --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
05:36, 6 June 2020 (UTC)reply
"added to the Japanese edition of Eilish's debut album" → "included on the Japanese edition of Eilish's debut studio album"
"According to Wandera Hussein of The Fader, Eilish's auto-tuned vocals come in, saying it" → "Wandera Hussein of The Fader said of Eilish's auto-tuned vocals coming in that it"
Maybe add mention of the lyrics relating to heartbreak?
[16][12][13] put in numerical order
"In the flood." are" → "In the flood" are" since the quote ending indicates it's the end of the lines
"of the trees burning" → "of trees burning"
"outside of a house."" → "outside of a house." since this is not inside a quote so why is it here?
"Upon release, "When I Was Older" was generally praised by" → ""When I Was Older" was met with generally positive reviews from"
"and is "shaping up" → "and "shaping up"
"called the song" → "called it"
"Derrick Rossignol, writing for Uproxx magazine, stated" → "Rossignol stated"
"how “When I Was Older” has" → "how "When I Was Older" has"
"although its" → "although wrote its"
"and call it a" → "and called the track a"
"praised the song for the lyrics" → "praised the track for the lyrics"
"limited success on the charts" → "limited success on record charts"
Remove wikilink on Billboard at this point per
WP:OVERLINK
"US Alternative Digital Song Sales" → "Alternative Digital Song Sales" and target to
Billboard charts
"number seven on the New Zealand Hot Singles Chart,[19] number three on the Sweden Heatseeker chart,[20] and number nine" → "number 7 on the New Zealand Hot Singles Chart,[19] number 3 on the Sweden Heatseeker chart,[20] and number 9" per
MOS:NUM instating the comparative values need to be consistent
[22][23][24] put them all at the end of the sentence since it's only three refs
Change ref 2 to citing Rolling Stone instead of RollingStone; for suggestions like this where I have italicised the parameter, I am suggesting for work/website to be used as that auto italicises things so I thought I'd clarify to stop any confusion
MOS:QWQ issues for ref 4
Use the numerous citations template for ref 5 to verify the release was in various countries and only wikilink
iTunes Store the first citation plus add the region retailer in brackets;
iTunes Store (US), for example
When there are speech marks that you placed inside the titles of references, replace them with ' instead since ref titles themselves are automatically put into speech marks so you don't want any added speech marks from the title parameter to any refs. --
Kyle Peake (
talk)
20:35, 5 June 2020 (UTC)reply