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Reviewer: Mike Christie ( talk · contribs) 11:26, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 11:26, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
Wat Paknam simply means 'lock in canal': I was surprised to see this, since I gather "wat" means "temple"; does "Wat Paknam" really translate to a phrase that does not include "temple"?
a temple with only thirteen monks that was abandoned: "abandoned" implies there was nobody there at all. Perhaps "little used"?
Although Luang Pu Sodh has already passed away, his remains have been kept in a coffin: we don't need "although", and it's best not to use euphemisms. How about "Luang Pu Sodh died in 1959, and his body has been kept in a coffin"?
no successors were appointed, which led to discussion: vague.
Somdet Chuang used to be monastic Chief of Region 3, 17 and 7, respectively: is there a possible link to something that explains what these regions are?
Wat Paknam was displeased by the report and had Phra Adisak leave Wat Paknam, but he did not comply: seems odd; he continued to live there, or to be a member? They had no power to force him to leave in either case?
of embezzlement and other accusations: you can't be accused of an accusation. Perhaps "of embezzlement and other crimes"?
which was one of 6000–7000 cars sold: I don't follow this.
The car under investigation was an eighty-old year wreck that had been fixed by adding new parts to it, before offering it to the museum: this sounds like a defense of the temple; it should be attributed to the source, rather than stated in Wikipdia's voice, unless we are sure it's a statement of facts which is not disputed by anyone. The word "wreck" is not neutral in this context.
The temple does, however, not only try to appeal to mae chis, but follows a general policy with regard to 'suitability': I'm not sure what "appeal" means here; I think it refers to the temple's ability to attract maechis. If so I don't think it's needed; that much is already evident to the reader. Perhaps just "The temple's policy is to make itself 'suitable' (Pali: sappaya), meaning that it attempts to be attractive...".
has acted resolutely: not neutral language.
he taught her to be patient and enduring: "taught" implies she successfully learned this from him; I think a verb such as "recommended" would be more neutral.
-- Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 13:15, 6 February 2018 (UTC)
The fixes all look good to me. Passing. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 01:41, 7 February 2018 (UTC)
Going through the article, I also think it'd be best if the coverage on Somdet Chuang was split into a separate article. A lot of the subsections under History cover him in a personal capacity not directly related to the temple. I see this was already mentioned in the GA review; we could probably let it rest for a while, and revisit the issue some time in the future. Just leaving my thoughts for the record. -- Paul_012 ( talk) 09:21, 13 February 2018 (UTC)
... most content would be the same, and all English-language sources deal mostly with the temple rather than Somdet Chuang. So you would end up with an article with hardly any English source. That is allowed, of course, but not ideal.
I've removed the links to Matichon E-library, which no longer work. Per WP:SOURCELINKS, it's not necessary to list the content deliverer in citations to material that is available offline. And it's no use to the reader to make WP:Shallow references to the paywall homepage. (If, however, there are direct URLs that still work, they could be helpful for those with a subscription, so such links should be fine.) -- Paul_012 ( talk) 14:39, 14 March 2018 (UTC)
Wat Paknam Bhasicharoen has been listed as one of the Philosophy and religion good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Wat Paknam Bhasicharoen is part of the Dhammakaya movement in Thailand series, a good topic. This is identified as among the best series of articles produced by the Wikipedia community. If you can update or improve it, please do so. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
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GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Reviewer: Mike Christie ( talk · contribs) 11:26, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 11:26, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
Wat Paknam simply means 'lock in canal': I was surprised to see this, since I gather "wat" means "temple"; does "Wat Paknam" really translate to a phrase that does not include "temple"?
a temple with only thirteen monks that was abandoned: "abandoned" implies there was nobody there at all. Perhaps "little used"?
Although Luang Pu Sodh has already passed away, his remains have been kept in a coffin: we don't need "although", and it's best not to use euphemisms. How about "Luang Pu Sodh died in 1959, and his body has been kept in a coffin"?
no successors were appointed, which led to discussion: vague.
Somdet Chuang used to be monastic Chief of Region 3, 17 and 7, respectively: is there a possible link to something that explains what these regions are?
Wat Paknam was displeased by the report and had Phra Adisak leave Wat Paknam, but he did not comply: seems odd; he continued to live there, or to be a member? They had no power to force him to leave in either case?
of embezzlement and other accusations: you can't be accused of an accusation. Perhaps "of embezzlement and other crimes"?
which was one of 6000–7000 cars sold: I don't follow this.
The car under investigation was an eighty-old year wreck that had been fixed by adding new parts to it, before offering it to the museum: this sounds like a defense of the temple; it should be attributed to the source, rather than stated in Wikipdia's voice, unless we are sure it's a statement of facts which is not disputed by anyone. The word "wreck" is not neutral in this context.
The temple does, however, not only try to appeal to mae chis, but follows a general policy with regard to 'suitability': I'm not sure what "appeal" means here; I think it refers to the temple's ability to attract maechis. If so I don't think it's needed; that much is already evident to the reader. Perhaps just "The temple's policy is to make itself 'suitable' (Pali: sappaya), meaning that it attempts to be attractive...".
has acted resolutely: not neutral language.
he taught her to be patient and enduring: "taught" implies she successfully learned this from him; I think a verb such as "recommended" would be more neutral.
-- Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 13:15, 6 February 2018 (UTC)
The fixes all look good to me. Passing. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 01:41, 7 February 2018 (UTC)
Going through the article, I also think it'd be best if the coverage on Somdet Chuang was split into a separate article. A lot of the subsections under History cover him in a personal capacity not directly related to the temple. I see this was already mentioned in the GA review; we could probably let it rest for a while, and revisit the issue some time in the future. Just leaving my thoughts for the record. -- Paul_012 ( talk) 09:21, 13 February 2018 (UTC)
... most content would be the same, and all English-language sources deal mostly with the temple rather than Somdet Chuang. So you would end up with an article with hardly any English source. That is allowed, of course, but not ideal.
I've removed the links to Matichon E-library, which no longer work. Per WP:SOURCELINKS, it's not necessary to list the content deliverer in citations to material that is available offline. And it's no use to the reader to make WP:Shallow references to the paywall homepage. (If, however, there are direct URLs that still work, they could be helpful for those with a subscription, so such links should be fine.) -- Paul_012 ( talk) 14:39, 14 March 2018 (UTC)