Hello,
Sauloviegas. I am reviewing this article for the 2012 WikiCup.
DAB and External links
Looks good.
Spotcheck
"... as the first single from Del Rey's debut studio album Born to Die, set for release in 2012." – not sourced or supported by any of the sources provided. An iTunes link is there, but I do not see its use.
Sheet music does not specify the song length and is unreliable for genres. Please provide reliable sources from journalists for the music genre.
How come it isnt reliable for genres? Are you going against several (and by several, I mean several) good articles that use Music Notes as a source for genres? Adding another for the song length... -
SauloTalk to Me20:55, 2 January 2012 (UTC)reply
Musicnotes.com is a site that hosts sheet music from the artists' publishing companies. The sheet music itself does not provide the music genre does it? That's info provided by the commercial site. Music genre is described by music critics in reviews and news. Musicnotes.com is cited for music composition details, like tempo, chord progression, key, metronome, vocal range, etc. —
WP:PENGUIN·[
TALK ]21:16, 2 January 2012 (UTC)reply
Just a question, where is the quote from
[1] that says that the song is about obsession with video games?
The Composition section looks like an issue as well. It is a
WP:QUOTEFARM and a lot needs to be paraphrased. I cannot pass this article at such as state and normally it would have failed. The Reception and Music video sections do not look any better.
Please address issues before I move on. I will request a second opinion if an article of this state should be passed.
Will do after GOCE copy edits the article. Here are notes to start off the copy edit with, but this is by no means a comprehensive list:
""Video Games" was released on October 10, 2011 as the first single from Del Rey's second album Born to Die, set for release in 2012." - add "which is" after "Die," to avoid confusion.
"Del Rey has stated that the inspiration for the song was an old boyfriend and commented" - you mean "... inspiration for the song came from his ex-boyfriend, commenting"
"The song was written and composed by Elizabeth Grant and Justin Parker in the key of F♯ minor and is set in time signature of common time with a tempo of 61 beats per minute." - three "and"s. try and remove at least one by re-wording.
Per consensus at
WP:RSN, we add in-text attribution of Musicnotes.com, so add "According to the sheet music published EMI Music Publishing at Musicnotes.com, the song was written ...".
"assembled from video clips of skateboarders, cartoons, shots from old movies, and paparazzi footage of Paz de la Huerta falling down while intoxicated" - awkward "assembled from". You mean "produced using" or "composed of"?
There are no spaces around em dashes per
WP:DASH: "... an old-glamour doom-pop ballad that unashamedly lays its feelings on the line — and we all know what happened the last time a singer did that ..."
Pass or Fail: Sauloviegas, I'm awfully sorry. I know GOCE requests take time to get responded to, but I just can't leave this article like this. It has been over a week. The Composition, Critical reception and Music video are still a bit too dense on quotations and it is worrying. The second opinion I had gotten was to wait, but I've waited long enough. I hope this does not come out too harsh because I do respect the effort you've put into the article. I ask that once the article has been copy edited to GA standards it be nominated. Thank you. —
WP:PENGUIN·[
TALK ]10:48, 19 January 2012 (UTC)reply
Hello,
Sauloviegas. I am reviewing this article for the 2012 WikiCup.
DAB and External links
Looks good.
Spotcheck
"... as the first single from Del Rey's debut studio album Born to Die, set for release in 2012." – not sourced or supported by any of the sources provided. An iTunes link is there, but I do not see its use.
Sheet music does not specify the song length and is unreliable for genres. Please provide reliable sources from journalists for the music genre.
How come it isnt reliable for genres? Are you going against several (and by several, I mean several) good articles that use Music Notes as a source for genres? Adding another for the song length... -
SauloTalk to Me20:55, 2 January 2012 (UTC)reply
Musicnotes.com is a site that hosts sheet music from the artists' publishing companies. The sheet music itself does not provide the music genre does it? That's info provided by the commercial site. Music genre is described by music critics in reviews and news. Musicnotes.com is cited for music composition details, like tempo, chord progression, key, metronome, vocal range, etc. —
WP:PENGUIN·[
TALK ]21:16, 2 January 2012 (UTC)reply
Just a question, where is the quote from
[1] that says that the song is about obsession with video games?
The Composition section looks like an issue as well. It is a
WP:QUOTEFARM and a lot needs to be paraphrased. I cannot pass this article at such as state and normally it would have failed. The Reception and Music video sections do not look any better.
Please address issues before I move on. I will request a second opinion if an article of this state should be passed.
Will do after GOCE copy edits the article. Here are notes to start off the copy edit with, but this is by no means a comprehensive list:
""Video Games" was released on October 10, 2011 as the first single from Del Rey's second album Born to Die, set for release in 2012." - add "which is" after "Die," to avoid confusion.
"Del Rey has stated that the inspiration for the song was an old boyfriend and commented" - you mean "... inspiration for the song came from his ex-boyfriend, commenting"
"The song was written and composed by Elizabeth Grant and Justin Parker in the key of F♯ minor and is set in time signature of common time with a tempo of 61 beats per minute." - three "and"s. try and remove at least one by re-wording.
Per consensus at
WP:RSN, we add in-text attribution of Musicnotes.com, so add "According to the sheet music published EMI Music Publishing at Musicnotes.com, the song was written ...".
"assembled from video clips of skateboarders, cartoons, shots from old movies, and paparazzi footage of Paz de la Huerta falling down while intoxicated" - awkward "assembled from". You mean "produced using" or "composed of"?
There are no spaces around em dashes per
WP:DASH: "... an old-glamour doom-pop ballad that unashamedly lays its feelings on the line — and we all know what happened the last time a singer did that ..."
Pass or Fail: Sauloviegas, I'm awfully sorry. I know GOCE requests take time to get responded to, but I just can't leave this article like this. It has been over a week. The Composition, Critical reception and Music video are still a bit too dense on quotations and it is worrying. The second opinion I had gotten was to wait, but I've waited long enough. I hope this does not come out too harsh because I do respect the effort you've put into the article. I ask that once the article has been copy edited to GA standards it be nominated. Thank you. —
WP:PENGUIN·[
TALK ]10:48, 19 January 2012 (UTC)reply