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Remove venue parameter since that is for live recordings only DoneKncny11(shoot) 22:08, 2 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove speed metal and hard rock from the infobox, as the song is only described as having elements of those genres DoneKncny11(shoot) 22:08, 2 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Mention at the end of the above sentence that it is "from their fourth studio album, Vicious (2018)." DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
You should add as the second sentence the full writing credits for the song due to the lead currently being too short, plus mention them in the body since everything here has to be written there DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"The song was recorded at" → "It was recorded at" plus this should be the sentence after writing and before release in the new order DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The studio is not directly mentioned in the body as being Rock Falcon Studios DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove "previously worked" part since that is not notable for the lead DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
""Uncomfortable" was a response to
lead vocalistLzzy Hale's fear" → "it was a response to Hale's fear" because you will have already mentioned her full name by adding the songwriters sentence, also introduction should solely be in the body DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Follow the above with a sentence about the song's genre/elements and the lyrical meaning DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Change the critical info to saying "The song received widespread acclaim from
music critics" with the target and mentioning the Grammy nomination in this sentence DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Split commercial performance into a different sentence, mentioning the US Hot Rock & Alternative Songs and Rock Airplay positions DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove commas around the album DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The source says the album was released on April 6, 2015, which is incorrect because it is written as April 10 here and on the main article DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The production for the EP is unsourced DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"making everybody happy."" → "making everybody happy"." per
MOS:QUOTE DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"The band reunited with Raskulinecz" → "Halestorm reunited with Raskulinecz" DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The studio is not mentioned as Rock Falcon like the infobox/lead calls it; try to find a source stating this DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Jam sessions are not directly mentioned by the source DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Mention the songwriters as the last sentence of the first para, adding from the CD liner notes DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
""Uncomfortable" is a" → "Musically, "Uncomfortable" is a" DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
[8] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [9]
I'm not sure what you mean by this. Kncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"Guitarist Joe Hottinger says that the main
riff was written "as a joke,"" → "Hottinger said that the
riff was written as "a joke"," DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"Lzzy Hale wrote the melody" → "Hale wrote the melody"
I would prefer to keep her full name whenever possible, because the drummer (her brother) also has the last name Hale.
Yeah that is acceptable, as it avoids confusion. --
K. Peake 14:39, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
If I put this in, it would probably be in the reception section, as I'm not sure where I'd logically fit it in here Kncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"being that "[y]ou can't" → "being: "You can't" DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"centered in a vocal riff." → "centered on a vocal riff." DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Release and reception
Change the img text to mentioning something about
Lzzy Hale relevant to this section as well as wikilinking her DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"released "Uncomfortable" on" → "released "Uncomfortable" as the album's
lead single on" with the wikilink DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"received widespread critical acclaim," → "was met with widespread acclaim from
music critics." with the target DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The descriptive words used in the opening sentence can be used as part of reviews that should be written out here, as there are not enough to back up widespread acclaim
Partly done I changed it to positive reception instead, since there isn't actually more than those descriptions. Kncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"all this summer."" → "all this summer"." DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"whether the band gets" → "whether Halestorm gets" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"new music, said that" → "new music, said:" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The commercial reception para should come after the rankings one DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:10, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"20 weeks on the" → "20 weeks on the US" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"and peaking at #1" → "and peaking at number one" per
MOS:NUM DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"also appeared on the" → "also appeared on the US" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"peaking at #28 and #17," → "peaking at numbers 28 and 17," DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"Internationally, "Uncomfortable" spent one week in October" → "Elsewhere, "Uncomfortable" spent one week in October 2018" but this should be after the Billboard year end position per geographical order DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:10, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"chart, at #47." → "chart, reaching number 47." DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The second Grammy nomination is not properly sourced since the ref says nothing about the 2013 one being their first DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"On June 6, the band" → "On June 6, 2018, the band" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"showing some of the process behind filming "Uncomfortable." part is not properly sourced; maybe just mention it was a behind the scenes video for the visual? DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Credits and personnel
Create this section by using the album's liner notes DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
US Mainstream Rock Songs → US
Mainstream Rock with the wikilink; chart can stay in this sub-section because the song did not reach the other year-end ones DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:10, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Replace ref 1 with a source that states the album's actual release date; probably go for one that was at or after the time DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix
MOS:QWQ issues with ref 3 and change HMV.com to
HMV, citing as publisher instead DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Cite 102.7 Coyote Country as publisher instead for ref 5 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 7 and cite MetalSucks as publisher instead DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 8 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Cite AllMusic as publisher instead for ref 9 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 14 17 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:CAPS issues with refs 18 and 30, and cite Blabbermouth.net as publisher instead DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove the author from ref 24 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Cite
Grammy.com as publisher instead for ref 26, with the wikilink and removing the other one as well as useless caps DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Replace ref 27 with the
Grammy url because that backs up the info properly DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove the author from ref 28 and fix MOS:QWQ issues DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 29 and cite Grammy.com as publisher instead with removal of caps DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Final comments and verdict
On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but don't feel afraid to reach out if you are stuck on anything! --
K. Peake 21:51, 2 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Kncny11 I appreciate how you have been taking your time to ensure everything is covered; however, the writing credits are listed in the lead but not the body. --
K. Peake 14:39, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: Everything has been addressed except for one comment where I had questions. I do think that the lead looks much more stilted and awkward now, however. Kncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kncny11: I do see it in that manner too somewhat, but to fix this I would recommend splitting the single release sentence from the recording one (starting release one with "the song"). Also, you could move the last two sentences of the first para to opening the following one and add to the lead what was praised specifically about the song. Regarding the part about a ref being solely at the end of the sentence, that means not invoking the ref mid-sentence when it is already at the end. My last points are that you should include the song featuring drums in the comp because that is notable even though the description belongs in reception and I congratulate you for your plausible amount of progress on this! --
K. Peake 20:55, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: I played around with the intro again, and moved the citation. I added a sentence at the end about the guitars and drums, since most reviews seem to mention both. I guess it didn't seem notable to me, because I actually play lead guitar in a metal/post-hardcore band (with a pop punk side project, because sometimes I don't want to have to shred), and those instrumental elements seemed pretty par for the genre. Kncny11(shoot) 15:49, 7 March 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kncny11:✓Pass now, but I did some brief copy editing of where there were issues with the flow of the lead and the prose itself in the body, though I wholheartedly commend your hard work on improving this article. It may have been a little later than you would usually aim for, but one week is the standard amount of time it is recommended for an article to be onhold so five days later is quite good. --
K. Peake 16:30, 7 March 2021 (UTC)reply
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Metal, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
heavy metal music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.MetalWikipedia:WikiProject MetalTemplate:WikiProject MetalHeavy Metal articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Pop music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of articles related to
pop music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Pop musicWikipedia:WikiProject Pop musicTemplate:WikiProject Pop musicPop music articles
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songs on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
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This article is within the scope of WikiProject Rock music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Rock music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Rock musicWikipedia:WikiProject Rock musicTemplate:WikiProject Rock musicRock music articles
Remove venue parameter since that is for live recordings only DoneKncny11(shoot) 22:08, 2 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove speed metal and hard rock from the infobox, as the song is only described as having elements of those genres DoneKncny11(shoot) 22:08, 2 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Mention at the end of the above sentence that it is "from their fourth studio album, Vicious (2018)." DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
You should add as the second sentence the full writing credits for the song due to the lead currently being too short, plus mention them in the body since everything here has to be written there DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"The song was recorded at" → "It was recorded at" plus this should be the sentence after writing and before release in the new order DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The studio is not directly mentioned in the body as being Rock Falcon Studios DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove "previously worked" part since that is not notable for the lead DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
""Uncomfortable" was a response to
lead vocalistLzzy Hale's fear" → "it was a response to Hale's fear" because you will have already mentioned her full name by adding the songwriters sentence, also introduction should solely be in the body DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Follow the above with a sentence about the song's genre/elements and the lyrical meaning DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Change the critical info to saying "The song received widespread acclaim from
music critics" with the target and mentioning the Grammy nomination in this sentence DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Split commercial performance into a different sentence, mentioning the US Hot Rock & Alternative Songs and Rock Airplay positions DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove commas around the album DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The source says the album was released on April 6, 2015, which is incorrect because it is written as April 10 here and on the main article DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The production for the EP is unsourced DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"making everybody happy."" → "making everybody happy"." per
MOS:QUOTE DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"The band reunited with Raskulinecz" → "Halestorm reunited with Raskulinecz" DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The studio is not mentioned as Rock Falcon like the infobox/lead calls it; try to find a source stating this DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Jam sessions are not directly mentioned by the source DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Mention the songwriters as the last sentence of the first para, adding from the CD liner notes DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
""Uncomfortable" is a" → "Musically, "Uncomfortable" is a" DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
[8] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [9]
I'm not sure what you mean by this. Kncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"Guitarist Joe Hottinger says that the main
riff was written "as a joke,"" → "Hottinger said that the
riff was written as "a joke"," DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"Lzzy Hale wrote the melody" → "Hale wrote the melody"
I would prefer to keep her full name whenever possible, because the drummer (her brother) also has the last name Hale.
Yeah that is acceptable, as it avoids confusion. --
K. Peake 14:39, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
If I put this in, it would probably be in the reception section, as I'm not sure where I'd logically fit it in here Kncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"being that "[y]ou can't" → "being: "You can't" DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"centered in a vocal riff." → "centered on a vocal riff." DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Release and reception
Change the img text to mentioning something about
Lzzy Hale relevant to this section as well as wikilinking her DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"released "Uncomfortable" on" → "released "Uncomfortable" as the album's
lead single on" with the wikilink DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"received widespread critical acclaim," → "was met with widespread acclaim from
music critics." with the target DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The descriptive words used in the opening sentence can be used as part of reviews that should be written out here, as there are not enough to back up widespread acclaim
Partly done I changed it to positive reception instead, since there isn't actually more than those descriptions. Kncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"all this summer."" → "all this summer"." DoneKncny11(shoot) 23:50, 3 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"whether the band gets" → "whether Halestorm gets" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"new music, said that" → "new music, said:" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The commercial reception para should come after the rankings one DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:10, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"20 weeks on the" → "20 weeks on the US" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"and peaking at #1" → "and peaking at number one" per
MOS:NUM DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"also appeared on the" → "also appeared on the US" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"peaking at #28 and #17," → "peaking at numbers 28 and 17," DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"Internationally, "Uncomfortable" spent one week in October" → "Elsewhere, "Uncomfortable" spent one week in October 2018" but this should be after the Billboard year end position per geographical order DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:10, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"chart, at #47." → "chart, reaching number 47." DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
The second Grammy nomination is not properly sourced since the ref says nothing about the 2013 one being their first DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"On June 6, the band" → "On June 6, 2018, the band" DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
"showing some of the process behind filming "Uncomfortable." part is not properly sourced; maybe just mention it was a behind the scenes video for the visual? DoneKncny11(shoot) 20:54, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Credits and personnel
Create this section by using the album's liner notes DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
US Mainstream Rock Songs → US
Mainstream Rock with the wikilink; chart can stay in this sub-section because the song did not reach the other year-end ones DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:10, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Replace ref 1 with a source that states the album's actual release date; probably go for one that was at or after the time DoneKncny11(shoot) 18:50, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix
MOS:QWQ issues with ref 3 and change HMV.com to
HMV, citing as publisher instead DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Cite 102.7 Coyote Country as publisher instead for ref 5 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 7 and cite MetalSucks as publisher instead DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 8 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Cite AllMusic as publisher instead for ref 9 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 14 17 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:CAPS issues with refs 18 and 30, and cite Blabbermouth.net as publisher instead DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove the author from ref 24 DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Cite
Grammy.com as publisher instead for ref 26, with the wikilink and removing the other one as well as useless caps DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Replace ref 27 with the
Grammy url because that backs up the info properly DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Remove the author from ref 28 and fix MOS:QWQ issues DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 29 and cite Grammy.com as publisher instead with removal of caps DoneKncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Final comments and verdict
On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but don't feel afraid to reach out if you are stuck on anything! --
K. Peake 21:51, 2 March 2021 (UTC)reply
Kncny11 I appreciate how you have been taking your time to ensure everything is covered; however, the writing credits are listed in the lead but not the body. --
K. Peake 14:39, 5 March 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: Everything has been addressed except for one comment where I had questions. I do think that the lead looks much more stilted and awkward now, however. Kncny11(shoot) 19:31, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kncny11: I do see it in that manner too somewhat, but to fix this I would recommend splitting the single release sentence from the recording one (starting release one with "the song"). Also, you could move the last two sentences of the first para to opening the following one and add to the lead what was praised specifically about the song. Regarding the part about a ref being solely at the end of the sentence, that means not invoking the ref mid-sentence when it is already at the end. My last points are that you should include the song featuring drums in the comp because that is notable even though the description belongs in reception and I congratulate you for your plausible amount of progress on this! --
K. Peake 20:55, 6 March 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake: I played around with the intro again, and moved the citation. I added a sentence at the end about the guitars and drums, since most reviews seem to mention both. I guess it didn't seem notable to me, because I actually play lead guitar in a metal/post-hardcore band (with a pop punk side project, because sometimes I don't want to have to shred), and those instrumental elements seemed pretty par for the genre. Kncny11(shoot) 15:49, 7 March 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Kncny11:✓Pass now, but I did some brief copy editing of where there were issues with the flow of the lead and the prose itself in the body, though I wholheartedly commend your hard work on improving this article. It may have been a little later than you would usually aim for, but one week is the standard amount of time it is recommended for an article to be onhold so five days later is quite good. --
K. Peake 16:30, 7 March 2021 (UTC)reply