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Reviewer: QatarStarsLeague ( talk · contribs) 05:14, 18 August 2021 (UTC)
* ""Tuqaq Temur Yalig" literally means "iron bow" or "with an iron bow" in old Turkic language." His full name is written above as "Duqaq"...Tuqaq should be the favored spelling, as it's the article's title.
*"Little is known about Tuqaq or his early activities as most of the details of his life are uncertain and come from later written or oral sources, composed particularly after the Battle of Dandanaqan." First half of the sentence should have at least one comma splicing it up.
*"...since arrow and bow were considered a sign of sovereignty in Oghuz culture. " Not sure of the contextual meaning of sovereignty here.
*"The Persian epic Maliqnameh (Book of Kings) mentions a warrior called Tuqaq who served a Khazar Khagan (ruler)." If he served the Khazars prior to the Oghuz, perhaps that chapter of his life is better suited for the "Origins" chapter?
*"...to join the Seljuq's tribe after it left Oghuz Yabgu for a new homeland in Transoxiana." Not sure if we need "the" before Seljuq here.
*As for his feud with the yabghu, that seems a pretty clear indicator that he himself was Muslim. Is that not the consensus?
*"After his death, his son, Seljuq, was named..." No need for the commas around "Seljuq"
*As for the "See also" section, I'd say anything that is hyperlinked within the prose doesn't need to be included.
QatarStarsLeague ( talk) 05:14, 18 August 2021 (UTC)
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Reviewer: QatarStarsLeague ( talk · contribs) 05:14, 18 August 2021 (UTC)
* ""Tuqaq Temur Yalig" literally means "iron bow" or "with an iron bow" in old Turkic language." His full name is written above as "Duqaq"...Tuqaq should be the favored spelling, as it's the article's title.
*"Little is known about Tuqaq or his early activities as most of the details of his life are uncertain and come from later written or oral sources, composed particularly after the Battle of Dandanaqan." First half of the sentence should have at least one comma splicing it up.
*"...since arrow and bow were considered a sign of sovereignty in Oghuz culture. " Not sure of the contextual meaning of sovereignty here.
*"The Persian epic Maliqnameh (Book of Kings) mentions a warrior called Tuqaq who served a Khazar Khagan (ruler)." If he served the Khazars prior to the Oghuz, perhaps that chapter of his life is better suited for the "Origins" chapter?
*"...to join the Seljuq's tribe after it left Oghuz Yabgu for a new homeland in Transoxiana." Not sure if we need "the" before Seljuq here.
*As for his feud with the yabghu, that seems a pretty clear indicator that he himself was Muslim. Is that not the consensus?
*"After his death, his son, Seljuq, was named..." No need for the commas around "Seljuq"
*As for the "See also" section, I'd say anything that is hyperlinked within the prose doesn't need to be included.
QatarStarsLeague ( talk) 05:14, 18 August 2021 (UTC)