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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man ( talk · contribs) 10:22, 6 March 2021 (UTC) reply


Comments

  • Lead is a touch short, I tend to try to find at least one or two things to say from each section in there.


  • "was founded by" when and where?


  • Link some of the jargon in the lead, like reinforced concrete.


  • "the Kahn System" system appears to not be capitalized.


  • "president[1] of " odd ref placement, why not at the end of the sentence.


  • Maybe link Michigan first time, we're not all Americans.


  • " one-acre" convert.


  • "in Youngstown, Ohio at " comma after Ohio.


  • "million dollars" inflate.


  • "took place because of the" ->"took place to exploit the"?


  • "Albert Kahn (Julius' brother)Associates in" what was the actual name??


  • " Packard automobile factory plant building number 10" Our article calls it the "Packard Automotive Plant".


  • "designed in 1903–05" year ranges need centuries both ends.


  • "its construction [7][8][9]" missing punctuation.


  • "< This blue print is this building >" nasty, use captions and thumbs for this.


  • "produced its steel " why "its"?


  • "industry, [12]and" no space between ref and punctuation, space after ref before text.


  • Link patent.


  • ""Kahn Daylight System." [17] " no space.


  • " brother Albert, " already linked.


  • "Europe and Asia. [16] " no space.


  • "with the Kahn System " small s.


  • Ref 19 and 20 need to be pp. and en-dash not hyphen separating the page numbers.


  • "Further reading" all spaced hyphens should be en-dashes.


  • Says it was merged but text says it was bought out, I'm not sure those are the same thing.


That's it for now, so on hold. The Rambling Man ( Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 12:29, 7 March 2021 (UTC) reply

Ok, cool, I've made a few little tweaks, and I'm satisfied this is a good article, nice work. The Rambling Man ( Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 20:27, 7 March 2021 (UTC) reply
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

Article ( | visual edit | history) · Article talk ( | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Rambling Man ( talk · contribs) 10:22, 6 March 2021 (UTC) reply


Comments

  • Lead is a touch short, I tend to try to find at least one or two things to say from each section in there.


  • "was founded by" when and where?


  • Link some of the jargon in the lead, like reinforced concrete.


  • "the Kahn System" system appears to not be capitalized.


  • "president[1] of " odd ref placement, why not at the end of the sentence.


  • Maybe link Michigan first time, we're not all Americans.


  • " one-acre" convert.


  • "in Youngstown, Ohio at " comma after Ohio.


  • "million dollars" inflate.


  • "took place because of the" ->"took place to exploit the"?


  • "Albert Kahn (Julius' brother)Associates in" what was the actual name??


  • " Packard automobile factory plant building number 10" Our article calls it the "Packard Automotive Plant".


  • "designed in 1903–05" year ranges need centuries both ends.


  • "its construction [7][8][9]" missing punctuation.


  • "< This blue print is this building >" nasty, use captions and thumbs for this.


  • "produced its steel " why "its"?


  • "industry, [12]and" no space between ref and punctuation, space after ref before text.


  • Link patent.


  • ""Kahn Daylight System." [17] " no space.


  • " brother Albert, " already linked.


  • "Europe and Asia. [16] " no space.


  • "with the Kahn System " small s.


  • Ref 19 and 20 need to be pp. and en-dash not hyphen separating the page numbers.


  • "Further reading" all spaced hyphens should be en-dashes.


  • Says it was merged but text says it was bought out, I'm not sure those are the same thing.


That's it for now, so on hold. The Rambling Man ( Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 12:29, 7 March 2021 (UTC) reply

Ok, cool, I've made a few little tweaks, and I'm satisfied this is a good article, nice work. The Rambling Man ( Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 20:27, 7 March 2021 (UTC) reply

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