"A single variety of weapon is available for each character", confusion over this typo whether there are multiple varieties of weapons, a single weapon or different weapons of a specific type?
Gameplay section: third para
The pipe link "Level progression" can be changed to something specifying that it's actually gaining a experience level--I first thought it meant progress through a game level.
"as a choice is given regarding where to invest a character statistics" surely you mean invest from a choice of different stats?
According to a figure, a "Manastone" is required for crossing level 18, whereas it's only mentioned about a special item needed for level 32.
"characters or elements who appear in different titles are best considered alternate versions of each other", means each game right? I think that would be clearer.
"cute little girl who lives in Wendel" can be removed, I think it's trivial and don't see the point of it being in quotes.
" the game did not tie up any of the people involved in translation; "...I'm not sure I follow this. I get the idea of the para but who is being referred to here? Have they been introduced somewhere else or referred to?
"It has been described as a "more refined..." quotation needs attribution as to who said it.
Same for "The style of the album is described as "experimental",..."
"...stated that the graphics were one of the best three of all SNES games,..." I didn't get which three games (this trilogy?) are being referred to here, clarify? -
Ugog Nizdast (
talk)
10:07, 9 April 2014 (UTC)reply
First part of "Reception" is a bit confusing. What would make it clearer is stating explicitly that the Gamefan review was in the release year. Using 'contemporary' and 'retrospective' together confused me at first read. I've also noticed that most of the main reviews are written post-2000; the "Critics have rated the game highly..." statement can be changed mentioning this year gap.
"Music"
"Kikuta completed it with little assistance, having performed the sound selection, editing, effect design, and data encoding himself. He spent nearly 24 hours a day in his office, alternating between composing and editing to create an immersive three-dimensional sound, just as he had for the music of the previous game." Shorten this sentence, there's a bit of extra unneeded emphasis here.
Congratulations, the article passes. The lead was written quite well, couldn't find anything wrong there. The article satisfies the rest of the criteria. Good job. -
Ugog Nizdast (
talk)
19:32, 9 April 2014 (UTC)reply
"A single variety of weapon is available for each character", confusion over this typo whether there are multiple varieties of weapons, a single weapon or different weapons of a specific type?
Gameplay section: third para
The pipe link "Level progression" can be changed to something specifying that it's actually gaining a experience level--I first thought it meant progress through a game level.
"as a choice is given regarding where to invest a character statistics" surely you mean invest from a choice of different stats?
According to a figure, a "Manastone" is required for crossing level 18, whereas it's only mentioned about a special item needed for level 32.
"characters or elements who appear in different titles are best considered alternate versions of each other", means each game right? I think that would be clearer.
"cute little girl who lives in Wendel" can be removed, I think it's trivial and don't see the point of it being in quotes.
" the game did not tie up any of the people involved in translation; "...I'm not sure I follow this. I get the idea of the para but who is being referred to here? Have they been introduced somewhere else or referred to?
"It has been described as a "more refined..." quotation needs attribution as to who said it.
Same for "The style of the album is described as "experimental",..."
"...stated that the graphics were one of the best three of all SNES games,..." I didn't get which three games (this trilogy?) are being referred to here, clarify? -
Ugog Nizdast (
talk)
10:07, 9 April 2014 (UTC)reply
First part of "Reception" is a bit confusing. What would make it clearer is stating explicitly that the Gamefan review was in the release year. Using 'contemporary' and 'retrospective' together confused me at first read. I've also noticed that most of the main reviews are written post-2000; the "Critics have rated the game highly..." statement can be changed mentioning this year gap.
"Music"
"Kikuta completed it with little assistance, having performed the sound selection, editing, effect design, and data encoding himself. He spent nearly 24 hours a day in his office, alternating between composing and editing to create an immersive three-dimensional sound, just as he had for the music of the previous game." Shorten this sentence, there's a bit of extra unneeded emphasis here.
Congratulations, the article passes. The lead was written quite well, couldn't find anything wrong there. The article satisfies the rest of the criteria. Good job. -
Ugog Nizdast (
talk)
19:32, 9 April 2014 (UTC)reply