The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Rjjiii ( talk · contribs) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
Hi, I posted on the talk page before and decided to go ahead and do the GA Review. I see on your user page that you are taking breaks to deal with stress. I hope you find some peace, and I will leave these comments with no timeframe expected for a response. Reach out if you have questions, issues, etc.
I don't want to go over the specifics of writing mechanics yet because I'd like to see the article expanded. After an expansion, I can provide feedback in this area. The overall issue I find here, is that I do not think even the lead would be comprehensible for a non-programmer. I would expect a non-programmer to be able to read the lead and get a general idea of what Tokio is. I understand that the features section and anything that goes into usage will inherently be technical.
I also think the history section would benefit from expansion. The first 2 sentences, for example, are somewhat unclear. They include much technical terminology, no clear action verbs, and use a complex structure where most of the meaning is placed within several clauses at the end of the sentence. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
I had intended to do more of a line-by-line critique once there was more content in the article. I may become very busy for reasons I did not expect next week, so instead I'll provide a more general critique. There are 2 main recurring issues I see in the article's prose:
Going over sources:
✓ This passes. It appears to use some non-controversial 1st party sources from developers. This would be more clear with brief mentions of who those people, especially Lerche and Ryhl are as they relate to Tokio. The infobox lists Lerche as the primary author but there are no references in the body of the article. Rjjiii ( talk) 07:54, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
The biggest issue I see with the article is Criteria 3. I'm going to quote the list of questions I had reading the article. Some of these are full questions and others are highly specific terms that I would not expect a non-programmer to use:
Update: I've crossed out resolved issues. Rjjiii ( talk) 01:51, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
Also, I'm just realizing that Lerche is listed as the project's author in the infobox but not in the body of the article. A sourced comment about Lerche in the body text would (a) provide the citation for the original author, (b) reinforce the Lerche authored citations, (c) give some perspective on Tokio's founding, and (d) provide a cleaner way to present the etymology of the name.
Rjjiii (
talk)
07:58, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
Update: Crossed out resolved issues. Rjjiii ( talk) 01:49, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
It make sense for this to target a more technical reader. I liked having a code example. You have several small subsections. If these warrant subsections, I would expect more than a single line for each. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
I intend to expand those sections.and sections 2.2 and 2.3 look the same. If you let me know when you finish here, I'll go through the prose. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:03, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
✓ It passes. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
✓ It passes. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
I would pass this article without an image, but it would benefit greatly with a diagram of asynchronous i/o.
Quoting again from the talk page: Are there any free images depicting asynchronous io that could be used as a base for an infographic in this article. Like this one: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HMPP_RPC.png Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
Update: Let me know when you have finished expanding the article. I'm waiting until then to check the prose. Also let me know if you intend to use any kind of diagram. I need to check off the copyright info for the image if so. Rjjiii ( talk) 03:02, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
As there are no comments from the nominator and no work on the article this week, I will go ahead and fail this. It is still a valuable article. I hope this review was helpful and I wish you luck editing the article in the future. You are welcome to renominate the article for GA at any time, and if you do improve the article I would encourage you do so. Thank you for your time, Rjjiii ( talk) 10:01, 13 January 2023 (UTC)
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
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visual edit |
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Reviewer: Rjjiii ( talk · contribs) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
Hi, I posted on the talk page before and decided to go ahead and do the GA Review. I see on your user page that you are taking breaks to deal with stress. I hope you find some peace, and I will leave these comments with no timeframe expected for a response. Reach out if you have questions, issues, etc.
I don't want to go over the specifics of writing mechanics yet because I'd like to see the article expanded. After an expansion, I can provide feedback in this area. The overall issue I find here, is that I do not think even the lead would be comprehensible for a non-programmer. I would expect a non-programmer to be able to read the lead and get a general idea of what Tokio is. I understand that the features section and anything that goes into usage will inherently be technical.
I also think the history section would benefit from expansion. The first 2 sentences, for example, are somewhat unclear. They include much technical terminology, no clear action verbs, and use a complex structure where most of the meaning is placed within several clauses at the end of the sentence. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
I had intended to do more of a line-by-line critique once there was more content in the article. I may become very busy for reasons I did not expect next week, so instead I'll provide a more general critique. There are 2 main recurring issues I see in the article's prose:
Going over sources:
✓ This passes. It appears to use some non-controversial 1st party sources from developers. This would be more clear with brief mentions of who those people, especially Lerche and Ryhl are as they relate to Tokio. The infobox lists Lerche as the primary author but there are no references in the body of the article. Rjjiii ( talk) 07:54, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
The biggest issue I see with the article is Criteria 3. I'm going to quote the list of questions I had reading the article. Some of these are full questions and others are highly specific terms that I would not expect a non-programmer to use:
Update: I've crossed out resolved issues. Rjjiii ( talk) 01:51, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
Also, I'm just realizing that Lerche is listed as the project's author in the infobox but not in the body of the article. A sourced comment about Lerche in the body text would (a) provide the citation for the original author, (b) reinforce the Lerche authored citations, (c) give some perspective on Tokio's founding, and (d) provide a cleaner way to present the etymology of the name.
Rjjiii (
talk)
07:58, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
Update: Crossed out resolved issues. Rjjiii ( talk) 01:49, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
It make sense for this to target a more technical reader. I liked having a code example. You have several small subsections. If these warrant subsections, I would expect more than a single line for each. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
I intend to expand those sections.and sections 2.2 and 2.3 look the same. If you let me know when you finish here, I'll go through the prose. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:03, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
✓ It passes. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
✓ It passes. Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
I would pass this article without an image, but it would benefit greatly with a diagram of asynchronous i/o.
Quoting again from the talk page: Are there any free images depicting asynchronous io that could be used as a base for an infographic in this article. Like this one: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HMPP_RPC.png Rjjiii ( talk) 02:42, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
Update: Let me know when you have finished expanding the article. I'm waiting until then to check the prose. Also let me know if you intend to use any kind of diagram. I need to check off the copyright info for the image if so. Rjjiii ( talk) 03:02, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
As there are no comments from the nominator and no work on the article this week, I will go ahead and fail this. It is still a valuable article. I hope this review was helpful and I wish you luck editing the article in the future. You are welcome to renominate the article for GA at any time, and if you do improve the article I would encourage you do so. Thank you for your time, Rjjiii ( talk) 10:01, 13 January 2023 (UTC)